Just curious what you guys think if any of you have ever been in my situation
I've twice been involved girls who took drugs. Once was a short but epic whirlwind of euphoria that ended in tragedy, and the other was a long, comfortable and trusting partnership. Granted, it too did eventually end, but not in tragedy and I don't regret either relationship. I acknowledge that people who take drugs tend to have a certain set of issues. But overall those issues aren't necessarily unmanageable. Not every girl on drugs is a crack whore and not every girl
not on drugs is an honorable saint. Personally, as someone who doesn't, "she takes drugs" is not an immediate deal breaker for me.
My own personal worldview may be relevant here. I have a difficult time being very angry over someone "taking drugs " in a country where caffeine and alcohol are ubiquitous and every commercial center has a drugstore. We are are a drug-taking society, and the difference we're really talking about is not whether she does or doesn't take drugs, but whether she takes
illegal drugs. And illegality is not such a terrible thing in my worldview. Do you jaywalk? Do you drive over the speed limit? Would you refuse to date someone who did?
If drugs (aspirin, alcohol, nicotine) are morally/philosophically acceptable and law-breaking (jaywalking, speeding) is morally/philosophically acceptable, then why would taking illegal drugs be unacceptable? Law is simply social custom enforced by punishment. Drugs are not illegal. Only an arbitrary list of
specific drugs decided on by a group of people I've never met and who didn't ask me, are illegal. This has very little weight in my mind.
...however...
The thing is shes still using and I've been clean for a while now.
lies and bullshit that comes with it though.
...from the way you've phrased a few things, I wonder if
you personally might suffer for being in a relationship with a girl on the particular variety of drugs that happen to be illegal. If you really perceive yourself as "clean" for not using them, and therefore her as being "dirty" because she does...I think it's safe to guess that you probably don't share the worldview I've described above. If for some reason you perceive "lies and bullshit" as something that comes with drug use...I'm guessing you probably have a reason for that perception. It might be a good reason. And if you really feel this way about drugs, that they're "unclean" and that they bring undesirable events into one's life...then choosing to not associate with someone involved with them might be a healthy choice if it keeps those things out of your life.
So I suggest making choices that are appropriate for you rather than appropriate for me.
if she loves you and you tell her that she's your dream girl, and then that
you would love to be with her if she were clean
I offer an opinion: extorting behavior through emotional blackmail is probably more unhealthy than whichever drugs the OP is discussing. Whether it's "I'll be with you if you stop taking drugs" or "I'll be with you if you marry me" or "I'll be with you if you convert to my religion" or any other form of blackmail, I advise against building relationships on this sort of foundation, just like I'd advise against building a skyscraper atop a mined swampland.
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Topic: I'm clean shes using. I might be in trouble. (Read 1799 times)