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[Ace_Warbringer]

Today I think I screwed up in one of those really bad ways.

I attended a service with my new girl for Christmas, Baptist church, sortta new age. (church has not been my thing)

during the services all new people attending were asked after a moving service to raise their hands if they felt that they where ready to do Christ's work, and save my soul.

I raised my hand thinking that it was what I was expected to do. (by my girl.)

They handed me a bible and blank journal, and a note encouraging me to become more active in the church.

now I am in a huge quandary, I'm not a believer in Christ the savior. I am however a believer in Christ the man and a creator of order.

And I am dead positive that if I were to reveal any thoughts like this to my girl, it would effectively torpedo our relationship. (confirmed by a later Facebook post by her)

now I'm really in a bind. and I respect and care for this person to much to simply destroy this relationship.

but at the same time. my views on Jesus are pretty much set in stone.

crap.  so now I seek advice. what in creations great purpose do I do?

I've ruled out hurting this lady on any level. but I'm damn for sure that trying to be something I'm not is going to hurt more down the road.

[chaoticag]

Things sound pretty incompatable already really. Alternatively, how long do you want to keep the lie? Until you're engaged? Married? Have kids? I think it's better to be honest now than reap the consequences later. When it comes to romantic relationships where both partners are not willing to budge on their religious beliefs, then well, the relationship has really ended.

But yes, be honest. The truth hurts, but lies harm.

[My Name is Immaterial]

I agree with chaoticag. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing.
If I was in your shoes, I would explain all your beliefs/situation to her, and then express how you feel about her, and ask if you (plural) can continue this relationship as a union founded on your affection for each other and not on one particular faith system. This last part might be too strong. Forum, critique.

But I've never been in a relationship, and am a Pastafarian so... take it with a grain of salt.

[ed boy]

now I'm really in a bind. and I respect and care for this person to much to simply destroy this relationship.

Being dishonest with someone about something like this is not respecting them at all.

I've ruled out hurting this lady on any level. but I'm damn for sure that trying to be something I'm not is going to hurt more down the road.

You've basically already hurt the lady, it's a matter of when she finds out. Generally, the longer it takes the worse it will get.

[Vector]

now I'm really in a bind. and I respect and care for this person to much to simply destroy this relationship.

Being dishonest with someone about something like this is not respecting them at all.

This.

[LordBucket]

what in creations great purpose do I do?

1) Tell her the truth.
2) Take this as a life lesson to do what you believe is right rather than what is expected of you. I cannot overstate the importance of this lesson. Be grateful that you had the opportunity to learn it when so little was at stake.
3) Pray to whomever you believe appropriate to clear up the misunderstanding on a spiritual level.

[DangerDwarf]

Having been in a very similar situation myself I have to advise you to tell her the truth about your beliefs as soon as possible, as this is guaranteed to become a big problem later in the relationship if you keep it to yourself. Unfortunately many people who feel strongly about their faith expects their partner to feel the same way (due to various reasons).

Would it be a problem for her family/friends if they find out that she is with someone that doesnt believe as they do? I assume this girl likes you too and doesnt want to things to end either? However even if religion can be overlooked for now, it will certainly cause stress (at the very least) later on.

BTW I know you looking for different advice and Im really sorry to hear of another person that finds themselves in this position.

[Grek]

Lying is definitely the wrong choice. If you think she'll be mad about your religion, just imagine how mad she would be about you lying to her about it.

[Zangi]

Answering these 2 questions of yourself will probably give you your answer:

1. How far are you willing to go, keeping up the charade that you believe what she believes?
2. Are you willing to take the fallout when you finally drop that charade?  (Don't kid yourself, you'll end up messing it up or get tired of the lies eventually. [Minus the latter if you are already someone who lies a lot...])

[Mushroo]

Write what you just told us in the blank journal. That's what it's for.

[BFEL]

If you can't be open with someone about your outlook on life, you shouldn't be with that person. It will only hurt the two of you in the end, so tell her the truth, and if that screws things over, then it screws things over.

[weenog]

If you respect her, you'll be honest with her.  If you don't believe she can handle the truth, or if you prefer to continue manipulating her behaviour with lies, that's not respectful at all.

If your point of view on anything is set in stone, you're as much a true believer as any religious kook.  You learn, grow, and improve more if you remain open to the possibility that you're mistaken, about anything.  That's how science works and why we call well-established ideas theories.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Another vote for immediate honesty.

Furthermore, you definitely should not get involved with the church if you don't believe what they believe. You will only invite further suffering upon yourself. Given what you've said, I would recommend never going back there.

[LordBucket]

yes, be honest.

Tell her the truth.

I have to advise you to tell her the truth

Lying is definitely the wrong choice.

tell her the truth

If you respect her, you'll be honest with her.

Another vote for immediate honesty.

Anyone else reading this thread reminded of this?

[weenog]

Reminded enough that I knew what it was going to be before I clicked through.