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Author Topic: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread  (Read 53141 times)

ToXey

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #195 on: November 18, 2014, 01:34:49 am »

I think stealing a bucket from a well was pretty good. Got me 10 water at the spot.
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-I slew Zolak! -It was inevitable.
-Any troubles? -Bandit Zolak is harassing our hamlet!
-Tell me about Zolak. -Zolak is dead.
-What do you think about me? -You are killer. You are also unhinged. You have perpetrated a violent attack upon Zolak.

Bumber

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #196 on: November 18, 2014, 01:57:50 am »

I think stealing a bucket from a well was pretty good. Got me 10 water at the spot.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

SMASH!

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #197 on: November 18, 2014, 02:49:02 pm »

I asked about troubles.
-Weee, bandit Zolak Randomname is harassing our hamlet!
I got two companions speardwarf and swordgoblin, we came to an abandoned hamlet, where bandits were hiding. By night, our trio stormed into the houses, butchering sleepy thugs. Fencing, kicking random guys in stomach so they retch, I got hit with a knife to the face (pretty scar, yay), then I saw the ringleader Zolak, whom I was hunting. He tried to escape, but I ran after him in the dark. After a shirt purge, I tried to throw my spear. And it worked, despite my throwing skill was low, chipped his leg. I chopped his head as a trophy, went back to find my battle mates. They have finished the rest, now the village was empty. After a short rest, we went back to report that the bandits are dead.
So, that's how they responded:
-I slew Zolak!
-It was inevitable.
-Any troubles?
-Bandit Zolak is harassing our hamlet!
-Tell me about Zolak.
-Zolak is dead.
-What do you think about me?
-You are killer. You are also unhinged. You have perpetrated a violent attack upon Zolak.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2014, 02:54:12 pm by SMASH! »
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WillowLuman

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #198 on: November 18, 2014, 02:59:23 pm »

Old, but remains one of my favorite kills of all time:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ah, the days when we had hellforts.
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94dima94

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #199 on: November 21, 2014, 07:07:03 am »

I was travelling around with my new wrestler, when, right next to the river I had to cross, I was ambushed by wolves. I killed 2 of them, but then 5 more showed up and I decided to run for the river. When I got there, I thought it was frozen, so I just decided to keep runnimg over it. Actually (I was trying a new tileset, so I didn't recognise it) it was actually empty space. I stopped at the edge of the canyon, while a wolf came charging at me. I dodged to the side, and the wolf ended up on the edge, so I immediately grabbed him and threw him, down the canyon and in the river, which WAS frozen. The wolf died on the impact.
Unfortunately his friends killed me.
I imagine my guy jumped on the side and pushed the wolf in one single motion, making him fall to his doom.
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Rapozk

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #200 on: November 22, 2014, 12:38:00 pm »

Well, I guess I should tell the adventure of a masterwork battle axe I made. Second adventurer to wear it was pretty bad ass.

I was at war with elves, so I decided to retire my fortress (when there was a hill titan hanging out at the edge of the map), went there and grabbed an axe. Went to the elven capital, waited til night attacked the market place. The axe had 107 kills when I was done. Went back to the fortress and killed the hill titan. Then went to sleep right outside the fortress and got killed by Dingos... -sigh-

So, the second adventurer, I asked about beasts, and found out that there was a lot of shrines up in north western corner. Like the edge of the world. Far across the tundra, had to travel several days across the tundra. So I trained that dwarf for a couple of days and get a lot of equipment, like barrels of water, and some companions. Then I managed to find the very same battle axe again! Not that hard since I know where the first adventurer was killed. Then I set out for the most well planned and longest trip I had ever undertaken in Dwarf Fortress. It took me seven in game days to reach the tundra and another three days to cross the tundra. When I arrived I managed to find ~10 shrines. Decided to start killing. The first Titan I found was a mountain titan, decided to attack it.... without thinking too much that it was fire-breathing... My companions decided to run away. But I managed to kill the titan, but was burning. I did not manage to save myself from the fire, so I died shortly after killing the titan, but the battle axe got one more kill.

It felt great to do such a great trip in Adventure mode, would be awesome if I made it back home. Next Adventurer I make shall go there and bring home the axe.... And of course add some kills the the axes kill-list.
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #201 on: November 22, 2014, 01:04:32 pm »

Yeah, I have a similar shrine set up in my current world, around 15 shrines crammed into the Northwestern corner of the map. I trekked up with a competent hammer man and 6 companions, one if which, Ucib, had told multiple times of her 2 kidnapped children that were taken to the Goblin capital. I trekked across the tundra and came to the shrine. Immediately, we see 2 Titans murdering each other in the blizzard and we reach them as one kills the other. Then, we pound down on the survivor until it bleeds out.

I think that's good enough for one day, 2 Titan's dead after all, so we head south to the Human capital, but before we can fast travel, a Titan cuts us off. I look at the beast, a giant hulking beast (some type of dinosaur with massive jaws) made of solid steel. I refuse to abandon any companions, so the battle begins.

For 15 minutes in real life, we fight. He bites, wrestles, and rips apart all of my companions one by one, except for Ucib who was holding back as the archer. When they are dead, he starts bearing down on me. He breathes poisonous gas in my face while also biting at me, but I somehow continue to avoid each hit by the closest margin. His skull is too thick to break through with my bronze war hammer, so I continuously pound his upper body, until I manage to break ribs inward, bruise and shatter lungs, and virtually destroy it. This goes on for another 15 minutes, until the inevitable happens, my character is over-exerted. He falls to the ground, dehydrated, starving, and too tired to fight. All he can do is roll out of the way and block attacks with his shield; to strike back would take too much strength. After a few in-game hours of his desperation, he gains the strength to strike one more time, shattering the beast's true ribs through the lung and breaking the lung! My spirits raise, for I think I've won, but the beast continues to attack unaffected, my character is so tired that he can only roll around now. Then, the beast breaths out its poison gas, causing my adventurer to roll away, and I watch the beast sputter. That poisonous breath was his last.

Hill Titan has suffocated

I pick myself off the floor and look around me. A ring of my dead soldiers corpses surrounds me. I look at myself and find I'm miraculously unharmed. Then, sifting through the death for provisions, I stumble across Ucib's crushed and mangled body. I need more soldiers if I'm going to rescue her children.

I scrounge up some food, melt some snow, and butcher the Titan's corpse so that people will believe the story. Lugging the giant skull across the tundra, I come to the capital, walk into the castle, throw it right in front of the Lord and tell him that I've slain the beast.

"It was inevitable," he says.
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Magnumcannon

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #202 on: November 22, 2014, 01:33:06 pm »

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TheHossofMoss

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #203 on: November 22, 2014, 05:49:15 pm »

Once stabbed a cyclops in the head, Odysseus-style.
Tell them it was Noman, if you live!
You mean Nobody?

Well it was Greek.

It's all Greek to me!  :P
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!

TheHossofMoss

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #204 on: November 22, 2014, 07:03:03 pm »

I once killed bandits at this one camp. Stabbed them all in the throat with my iron spear, while sneaking. They were also asleep. I then strangled a few to death as well.

One wrestler woke up, and a battle ensued. I stabbed him, and my spear was stuck in him. So I kicked and punched him, and I hit him in the throat with my iron shield. This rendered his throat into a "unrecognizable" mass of flesh. I told him to surrender, and he did. Then he choked on his own blood.

I felt REALLY messed up after I did all that. Even though they were bandits.
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!

Foxite

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #205 on: December 02, 2014, 10:33:26 am »

A bandit camp. Someone was sleeping on the ground near the camp. Do you want to know what I did? (Hint: You don't)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That must have been one not so nice dream...
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Corinthian

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #206 on: December 02, 2014, 07:38:57 pm »

I *stigmata'd a dwarf child then beat his head in with a dead rat. Then I murdered the "king" (different from a baron?) with his own throne.

*Stigmata'd. Verb. Past tense. The act of inflicting incapacitating stab wounds upon both hands and feet.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #207 on: December 02, 2014, 08:01:46 pm »

I made a vampire character, then made him a necromancer too.  He's immortal, doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, doesn't breathe, can sense living things even when he can't see them, three or four times faster than most people, superhumanly strong, immune to pain, has giant fangs and can kill you in one round if he gets you by the neck, is just generally an unstoppable combatant right now.

So I took over a human kingdom and then invaded the elves, stormed the marketplace with my zombie army and probably killed more than a hundred of them.
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Sprin

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #208 on: December 08, 2014, 03:00:10 pm »

I nocked out a miniotar drank all its blood and necromanced it to chop off some bits for treasure.
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Dampe

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Re: Most Brutal/Badass Things You've Done Thread
« Reply #209 on: December 15, 2014, 06:05:56 pm »

Knocked a guy unconscious, and then systematically bit off his nose, his ears, his fingers and his toes, until he bled out (think I got to the second foot)
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Regards,
Dampe
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