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[BFEL]

((Not too, at! And why would the lioness have any better luck with it than Carl?))

((She's kinda special. You guys rolled a 1 on "how powerful a boss are we fighting" btw ))

((Well, that's good, right? If we had rolled a 5 or a 6, we'd be in trouble, but a 1 sounds downright puny.))

((1s are bad for you, remember? Except in circumstances where they aren't.
Mostly I'm just bullshitting this game together, but its working....I think?))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Worth a shot, wasn't it?))

[kj1225]

((Quick, try and get in her pants!))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Wait, what?
...Also, isn't that more your M.O.?))

[kj1225]

((It works for me doesn't it?))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((I'll leave you to it. I have a deficit of comprehension and a crippling excess of dignity to attempt such...dirty tactics.))

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Focus myself, come on.

[BFEL]

"Ow." Clair go to get up but realizes something missing from this incident.

She grab John's hand and move it to the correct place "Better, now-" Clair inhales "PERVERT!"

And then slap

[4] Your plan of perversion goes exactly as you expected it to. John is confused and aroused.

Continue throwing rocks at the lioness.

[2] You go to throw the rock, but are distracted by thinking about other hard things.

((I'm feeling like another speech, because speeches are fun. exams, coincidentally, are not))

"Lowered his standards? Perhaps, we all have our flaws. However, none of our flaws make us quite as hideous as you, monster. Don't you see what you're doing is futile beyond all belief?" Bobby extends three fingers, retracting them as he counts down, voice getting darker and darker as he goes on "You will leave now to whence you came and that will be the end of it. You will be defeated by us here and be granted no mercy. Or...you defeat us. In that case you will go on to terrorize the rest of the world. And that will have been your greatest mistake. Because then you will face the unfatomable rage and desperation of a humankind collectively backed into a corner. And should you prevail, should you grant us no option for victory, you will taste the fire of nuclear armageddon.

Victory for you is but a fairy tale, like santa or the Queen of England. NOW PREPARE YOURSELF FOR JUSTICE, YOU BITCH"

scream SUPA SENTAI THOUSAND FISTS and rush the lioness, attempting to go  fist of the north star on her

[4] You punch the lioness square in the jaw. She smiles at you.

"Okay, what the hell."

Pinch self. If this fails, throw the ring at the lioness.
(Watch me get a crit.)

[5] You pinch yourself. Really really hard. You are now bleeding, congratulations! Nothing else has changed.

...

If this fails, throw the ring at the lioness.

Since the "Pinch Self" should have been pretty obvious as a non-serious action, I don't see why the rest of my action was ignored. Especially since 5's are supposed to be good things, not bad!
In other words, you're making a joke I made not only make me miss a turn, but also wound me! And I wasted a 5!

"Victory for you is but a fairy tale, like santa or the Queen of England."

"...Idiot."

Throw the God-damned ring at the lioness like I should have done last turn! Then find something else to throw.
Jsut the second half if my rant convinces the GM to let me retroactively have thrown the ring at the lioness or something.

[6] YOU DO THE STUPIDEST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF. You pull your arm back and throw the ring at the horrible scary lady. No not Clair.
[4] Thankfully Bobby catches the ring before anything terrible happens, because the GM decided to be merciful in light of your collective terrible performance.

Focus myself, come on.

I'm not even gonna roll for this. HEY WAKE UP SREEPYTITS, YOU TIME AT HAND. GO FIGHT LION AN TIGEL AN BEAL OH MY. Arso you probabry wanna yerr supa sentai unite. It make you ress clap.

LIONESS: The Lioness bites Bobby's hand! [1+2] But he pulls back at the last moment, preventing her from getting a good grip. His hand is bleeding through the glove however.

[kj1225]

((*Gets frustrated at GM for allowing GWG to stay*))

[BFEL]

((*Gets frustrated at GM for allowing GWG to stay*))

Hush you.
For one thing GWG hasn't confirmed what you said.
In fact he is just as active on the forums as usual, so unless he tells me that he is gonna miss some actions and to let you play him, its not happening.

[GreatWyrmGold]

((*Gets frustrated at GM for allowing GWG to stay*))

Why wouldn't he?

Search for some kind of weapon.
(And with that kind of roll, it really should have hit the beast and broken something.)

[scapheap]

"Kill it with fire, lots and lots of fire"

blanet the area with fire

[BFEL]

((*Gets frustrated at GM for allowing GWG to stay*))

Why wouldn't he?

Search for some kind of weapon.
(And with that kind of roll, it really should have hit the beast and broken something.)

((I'm telling you man, if it hit her, she would have absorbed it and gained its powers. Normally that's not something you would have to worry about, but she's kinda special. Sorry for starting you off with the "special" boss, but like I said, epic failed the boss roll.

Oh and I'm pretty sure kj thinks you're going away somewhere for awhile and won't have bay12 access or something like that.))

[kj1225]

((*Gets frustrated at GM for allowing GWG to stay*))

Why wouldn't he?

Search for some kind of weapon.
(And with that kind of roll, it really should have hit the beast and broken something.)

((I'm telling you man, if it hit her, she would have absorbed it and gained its powers. Normally that's not something you would have to worry about, but she's kinda special. Sorry for starting you off with the "special" boss, but like I said, epic failed the boss roll.

Oh and I'm pretty sure kj thinks you're going away somewhere for awhile and won't have bay12 access or something like that.))

((Nah, I just forgot to tell you nevermind later that day when he found his cord.))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Which also lead to one of the shortest hiatuses in Bay12 history.))