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[GreatWyrmGold]

((Isn't Excalibur embedded in a rock, in contradiction to all Arthurian lore?))

[The Froggy Ninja]

"So Scap. It would seem that our home town has been attacked in an incredibly cliche way and we're on our home. Want to go grab lunch and discuss putting together a ragtag bunch of misfits while trying to find out who my father is?"

"Going by cliche, there will be a love interest at the lunch place and since you seem the be the hero of this story, you two will have a bad first impression, she act tsundere toward you, but something will happen, she join party. Along the way, usually two other girls will join and will complete for your love. Worst case is they all put side their differences and then you have a harem on your hands. Trust me, I been the hero four times. That 12 girls. My bed not big enough."

*On coms*"May I join? This wouldn't be the first time (*snicker*) I was a 'good wizard'."

[aattss]

Spoiler: Author Notes (click to show/hide)

This turn was pretty good. Due to a 20 from last round, several players got free crits, but that wasn't the only source of crits. There was also the introduction of named npcs. These npcs also have plot armour, so they don't die permanently if the owner doesn't die and/or revives.

Spoiler: Non-player Actions (click to show/hide)

The World (13) is feeling slightly positive.

Backwater (6) gets a militia organized, but the Masked Man (??) interferes out of boredom.

The Messenger (6) makes it, and convinces the town to send a good amount of reinforcements.

Spoiler: Player Actions (click to show/hide)

Find a place to restart my empire.

You (3+2(luck)=5) good location for building.

((Ok I guess I need to write my little poetry stuff in BOLD italics ))

Ignean new, Ignean formed
Many and few think Ignean norm
Travel and gaze, learn human ways
Ignean daze in their dorm.

((I'm interested in seeing how you translate gibberish magma haiku into actions ))

You (8(crit!)) travel among the humans, learning their ways. After a while, you find that you find yourself with a couple good companions.

"I also lack a bed in general... Anyways, let's get some lunch!"
Obtain lunch and probable love interest.

After a conversation about cliques,  you (6(boon)(crit!)) wind up in a compromising situation with a short red-headed tsundere. After a slight case of getting beaten up in a comedic fashion during which it’s revealed that she’s a half fire-elemental, you now have a new traveling companion.

Your Companion who didn't post an action (2) also gets wounded by a half-fire elemental.

Escape!

You (12(boon)(crit!)) successfully teleport yourself back into the Tardis, during which you also bend time to recover from your claustrophobia.

Backwater

Call upon the power of the gods of death

You (8(boon)(crit!)) summon Larnath, an angel of death, to fight by your side.

Slip past the succubus, complaining about cooties due to being a draconic child, and find a lair.

You (2vs1) fail the stealth check, but the succubus fails the spot check moreso, so you manage to avoid combat.

Summon some demons under my control.

You (6) summon another mook.

Use the GPS to locate Excalibur. Obtain Excalibur. If someone already has Excalibur, shoot this in the head with my Railgun. If anyone tries to take Excalibur from me, also shoot them with my Railgun.

Also, wonder why the Mysterious Man talks in hard-to-read white text. Think about asking him to at least make his words glow or something so it's' easier to read what says.

You find the location, and attempt to kill the person with Excalibur. You (10 vs 6 (crit!)+5 (Excalibur:11)=11) fail to land a hit, and instead get injured for 1+4=5 damage.

((Does this mean that a floran child is now the future king? This world's politics are doomed.))

Floran test new ssshiny by ssstabing .. not want ssstab light-guard? ... Floran help light-guard ssstab meat.

You decide to test your stabby thing on the thing that tried to kill you. You (2+6 (Excalibur:13)=8 vs 10) take 2 damage instead.



Siege on Backwater

besiegers: darkpaladin (7/12) and 3 lvl 4 mooks, Yourmaster (5/8) and Larnath (5/5), 2 lvl 1 scavengers
defenders: DarkArtemisFowl (12/12) and 1 lvl 5 succubi, 2 lvl 2 guards

Siege of Backwater		Round 1
Backwater (5) removes some insignificant debris.
Larnath (7)	guard 2 (3)	guard 2 dies
mook 1 (4)	succubi (9)	mook 1 is seduced
mook 2 (2)

DarkArtemisFowl (10+2=12)

mook 2 dies
mook 3 (7)	guard 1 (1)	guard 1 dies

besiegers left: darkpaladin (7/12) and 2 lvl 4 mooks, Yourmaster (5/8) and Larnath (5/5)
defenders left: DarkArtemisFowl (12/12), 1 lvl 4 mook, and 1 lvl 5 succubi

Spoiler: Characters (click to show/hide)

kj1225
health: 4/5
level 3 (d8)
type: half-human herbivore

Tsundere (lvl 3) (5/5) (half fire elemental)

GreatWrymGold
health: 2/3
level 2 (d6)
type: fledgling wrym

BFEL
health: 8/8
level 4 (d10)
type: magma human

2 lvl 3 companions

scapheap
health: 2/3
level 2 (d6)
type: novice swordsman

talent: +2 to sword combat rolls

Nirur Torir
health: 3/5
level 3 (d8)
type: floran swordsman

equipped: Excalibur

Yourmaster
health: 3/8
level 4 (d10)
type: necromancer lord of death

Larnath (lvl 3) (5/5) (angel of death)

Excalibur
health: 15/18
level 6 (d14)
type: legendary sword

sharp: +4 to damage

The Froggy Ninja
health: 12/12
level 5 (d12)
type: lord of time and space
tardis: is a tardis, has space-time warping properties

DarkArtemisFowl
health: 18/18
level 6 (d14)
type: guardian of light and XXX

hero of justice: +2 on attack rolls against “evil” characters.z
1 lvl 4 mook
1 lvl 5 succubi

TCM
health: 7/12
level 5 (d12)
type: steampunk horseman assassin

assassin: +3 damage to first hit
enchanted quest GPS

darkpaladin109.
health: 7/12
level 5 (d12)
type: dark paladin

2 lvl 4 mooks

poketwo
health: 5/5
level 3 (d8)
type: Roman General

2 lvl 2 soldiers

Spoiler: Non-player Notes (click to show/hide)

World
integrity: undef.
level: undef. (d20)

Backwater
Present: DarkArtemisFowl and co., Floran with Excalibur vs TCM
NPCs: insignificant human npcs
Invaders: darkpaladin109 and co., Yourmaster and co.
Reinforcements incoming (0%)

Masked Man
health: ??
level ?? (d??)
type: ??

[kj1225]

"Scap. Do me a favor and remind me of what happened back there next time I decide I'm desperate for that stew."

[GreatWyrmGold]

("Masked Man" isn't a name. It's barely a title!

Also, how do you get levels?)

Locate a lair.

[kj1225]

((I think he's talking about Tsundere

And IIRC you level up when you get a crit.))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Oh. That is also not a name.

And crap. I can't control that.))

[Superblackcat]

"Hey Floran dude... What's your name? What you want to test me? Try to stab that person who's trying to obtain me. Oh, you didn't know I can talk?"
Points at Steampunk Horseman Assassin
"I'll help you, can't have the first owner of the legendary sword... in several centuries die on the first opponent"
Guide him, hopefully my roll will help him somehow, me being the legendary sword

[poketwo]

Start up a city, and other stuff as well, including recruiting people to my legions! In secret, of course.

[Superblackcat]

((Hey aattss, can you explain to me how combat works, and how I help the Floran?)

[Superblackcat]

"Hey DarkArtemisFowl, How long can you hold this town, I've got to finish up with this" Jerks Head "Before I can help you finish up these attackers."

"Nirur, You want to stab? Stab those attackers after you finish with him"

[BFEL]

Ignean stone, so is path
Set before the lands first breath
All must follow, fates fell tone
Else they're only blood and bone

((Translation: SET ME UP THE PLOT HOOK.
And not Backwater either. That place is already a clusterfuck ))

[DarkArtemisFowl]

"Uhm, I'm more support-oriented than defense. But I'll see what I can do."

"Iaunums! Iekare uzbruceji!"

Send the succubi to lust over the attackers.

[TCM]

"Give me the damn sword!"

Pull out Steampunk Blade, stab current wielded of Excalibur to death and take it for my own.

Stab anyone else that interferes.

[Superblackcat]

If my host dies, teleport me far far away