If I were planning to do a hell breach, I'd paint the halls with demon blood and let the magic users be consumed by the beasts once and for all. You simply do not comprehend my unfathomable hatred for overuse of the magic plot device. Deus ex machina all up in this penal colony.
Honestly, I don't think Steelhold is a particularly heinous offender there. And all of maskdwarf's magicking is what gave me the idea for the whole conspiracy. My previous idea was far more boring.
Emdief enters my office to find Lorius and I already seated, my injured leg propped up on the desk between the two of us. We had been reminiscing about old times over a mug of dwarven wine."No, really, the baron forgot his trousers in the meeting hall. That's how I knew where to send you. Ah, Emdief. Have a seat, lad. Lass."
Our revolutionary overseer takes a chair. The same chair he took almost two years ago now. "This better be important."
"Wouldn't have called you if it wasn't."
I pour the lass some wine. "I already brought Lorius here up to speed on the conspiracy. He was one of the agents who tried to get into the Tenebrous Abbey in recent years. If Lorius couldn't get inside, I doubt any other dwarf could."
My leg begins to throb. I shift in the chair. "Now, first and foremost. That declaration to the inspector."
I give Emdief a big smile, genuine for once. "That took serious balls, friend. My congratulations. You'd make a pretty good spy. Even I wasn't sure about that particular caper's link to the queen. And if she does decide to move in, we can string that bitch up and leave her on the crossed pikes. After a 'fair' and 'impartial' trial for her vile crimes, of course."
"Now. Recent discoveries. I've spent some time revisiting old records. Again, my agent in the caravan gave me the rest of the info. It turns out that there really is only one dwarf vampire left in the known world. Likot Lockedgears."
I let the name float in the air for a moment. It might have faded from Emdief's memory, but Lorius had only heard the tale earlier today. "And what do you know, the son of a bitch is right here in Steelhold."
Lorius winces at my colorful language. "Has been for years. I honestly don't know if he fears me or not, but inside that ancient head of his are some of the most well-guarded secrets in the realm. And while I would certainly love to get access to them, there are other ways. Like the queen."
"There's another interesting one. Again, the caravan brought me the last pieces of the puzzle. The human woman Oku Constructcudgel, who slew Tun Cryptscribed, the queen's vampire grandfather, was supposedly struck down by a crone of twilight in 157 and interred as a hero in the human settlement of Rakedsnarls. Agents of mine went to do some friendly investigative graverobbing. The tomb was empty. Had never even been used."
"I looked at all available records on the maskdwarf. Came up almost blank. Like he appeared in the mountainhomes out of thin air. So I investigated the mask itself. And found that the damned thing has been turning up in one place or another, all over the world, for almost a century now. There are reports of masked humans, dwarves, goblins, even elves. Always mysterious, insane, and inexplicable. Always mentions of 'old gods'. My agents went to dig up the burial sites for these masked people, wherever available. All empty, never used."
I give them both a hard stare."Oku Constructcudgel is the maskdwarf. I'm sure of it. Yet for all of this, I've no idea what the psychotic bitch wants. Its behavior over the years displays no fixed pattern, not even a pattern of madness. This does not sit well with me. I suppose that in telling the two of you, you'll help me make sense of it all."
Once again, I let the silence punctuate my speech. As I look at the two dwarves before me, I remember my wife. She has finally abandoned the masked one's cult, but that doesn't seem to have removed her mental block of discussing the contents of the sermons. At least she seems a bit brighter now.
It remains to be seen how the masked one reacts to losing most of its flock.