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Author Topic: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart  (Read 11613 times)

LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #105 on: December 10, 2013, 06:08:53 pm »

You skipped 201: Open all the randomized collectible packages and look through them to make sure you're not going to get screwed.

206. Stack boxes really high and, if challenged, point to the sign you set up that says "Danger! Do not climb on these boxes!"
207. Get on the P.A. system and announce, "This is a special holiday message from the Walton family." and then either fart repeatedly or beatbox into the microphone.
208. Turn the volume on the TVs in the entertainment department all the way up, then mute them, while on a blank channel so no sound comes out. Change them all to the same, hopefully loud channel - maybe a sports event. Set their universal remote frequencies to match, and from maximum distance away from the area use one remote to unmute and mute them all rapidly.
209. Using power strips from the store, plug in and turn on all of the blenders in Housewares.
210. Pour maple syrup all over the floor in one aisle and deploy your custom "Caution - Syrupy Floor" hazard cone.
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kj1225

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #106 on: December 10, 2013, 07:21:59 pm »

211. Ask an employee if you can buy a soda, a bag of chips, and a hitman.
212. Ask about where you can buy a ring, a wedding card, and cyanide.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #107 on: December 10, 2013, 08:34:13 pm »

You skipped 201: Open all the randomized collectible packages and look through them to make sure you're not going to get screwed.

206. Stack boxes really high and, if challenged, point to the sign you set up that says "Danger! Do not climb on these boxes!"
207. Get on the P.A. system and announce, "This is a special holiday message from the Walton family." and then either fart repeatedly or beatbox into the microphone.
208. Turn the volume on the TVs in the entertainment department all the way up, then mute them, while on a blank channel so no sound comes out. Change them all to the same, hopefully loud channel - maybe a sports event. Set their universal remote frequencies to match, and from maximum distance away from the area use one remote to unmute and mute them all rapidly.
209. Using power strips from the store, plug in and turn on all of the blenders in Housewares.
210. Pour maple syrup all over the floor in one aisle and deploy your custom "Caution - Syrupy Floor" hazard cone.
You're always amusing.



213. Asking where you can buy Super Soakers, RC cars, and acid.
214. Asking where you can buy birthday candles, kerosene, and a remote detonator.
215. Asking where you can buy lead-based paint, paint thinner, and a squirt gun.
216. Asking where you can buy a flamethrower, arsenic, and gumdrops.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #108 on: December 11, 2013, 01:11:20 pm »

217. Have someone push you around in a wheelchair while you seem to snooze and nod, then suddenly spring up and startle people.
218. Someone pushes you around the store in a wheelchair stacked upon another wheelchair. If this isn't enough to get you kicked out, continue adding wheelchairs to the stack until you're a lofty king of disability.
219. Gather friends to have jousting tournaments with mops soaked in paint and riding powered wheelchairs.
220. Drive RC cars around the store with marital aids attached to them.
221. Begin installing new glue-on flooring in the aisles, using the linoleum from the shelves.
222. Gather many heat lamps and sunbathe on the deck chairs.
223. Using nerf guns, roleplay various wartime atrocities while looping the historical footage on a nearby TV.
224. Draw faces on all the gallon milk jugs with a sharpie. Nothing is wrong with the milk, but who is gonna buy them?
225. Carry out a normal shopping trip but with all four limbs touching the floor - hand and elbow, foot and knee. You can raise no more than one limb at a time. Long-range movement by crouched scampering is acceptable even if it means all four limbs are off the floor at once - but the one-limb-rule applies when you arrive. Requesting help from fellow shoppers and store employees is acceptable, but you have to whisper.
226. Wear a shirt that says "The Man Upstairs" and pants that say "The Man Downstairs". Grin and waggle your eyebrows suggestively while pointing at your pants.
227. Carry on a long, loud, racist conversation with a sock puppet. Right, they probably sell DVDs of that.
227. Carry a boom box which you hold up above your head and loudly play love songs to any employees up on ladders or lifts, stairs, or those offices with one-way glass. If none are available, crouch down really low and do it to people standing normally.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #109 on: December 11, 2013, 04:27:07 pm »

228: Climb onto the wine shelves with your friends, declare yourselves KINGS OF BOOOZE
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Erils

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #110 on: January 21, 2014, 02:47:29 pm »

217. Have someone push you around in a wheelchair while you seem to snooze and nod, then suddenly spring up and startle people.
218. Someone pushes you around the store in a wheelchair stacked upon another wheelchair. If this isn't enough to get you kicked out, continue adding wheelchairs to the stack until you're a lofty king of disability.
219. Gather friends to have jousting tournaments with mops soaked in paint and riding powered wheelchairs.
220. Drive RC cars around the store with marital aids attached to them.
221. Begin installing new glue-on flooring in the aisles, using the linoleum from the shelves.
222. Gather many heat lamps and sunbathe on the deck chairs.
223. Using nerf guns, roleplay various wartime atrocities while looping the historical footage on a nearby TV.
224. Draw faces on all the gallon milk jugs with a sharpie. Nothing is wrong with the milk, but who is gonna buy them?
225. Carry out a normal shopping trip but with all four limbs touching the floor - hand and elbow, foot and knee. You can raise no more than one limb at a time. Long-range movement by crouched scampering is acceptable even if it means all four limbs are off the floor at once - but the one-limb-rule applies when you arrive. Requesting help from fellow shoppers and store employees is acceptable, but you have to whisper.
226. Wear a shirt that says "The Man Upstairs" and pants that say "The Man Downstairs". Grin and waggle your eyebrows suggestively while pointing at your pants.
227. Carry on a long, loud, racist conversation with a sock puppet. Right, they probably sell DVDs of that.
227. Carry a boom box which you hold up above your head and loudly play love songs to any employees up on ladders or lifts, stairs, or those offices with one-way glass. If none are available, crouch down really low and do it to people standing normally.

These are all hilarious agian. Please continue.
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Remuthra

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #111 on: January 21, 2014, 03:58:46 pm »

229. Try to buy the whole stock of sleep medication. When they ask you what it's for, shrug shadily.

HissinhWalnuts

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #112 on: January 21, 2014, 05:08:11 pm »

230: Carpet nuke the store.
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kj1225

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #113 on: January 21, 2014, 05:15:09 pm »

231. Claim to have nuked the store ignoring all evidence to the contrary.
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HissinhWalnuts

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #114 on: January 21, 2014, 05:44:21 pm »

231: Actually carpet nuke it after that.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #115 on: January 21, 2014, 06:16:55 pm »

Sorry, I ran out of ideas. I don't have any more left.
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kj1225

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #116 on: January 21, 2014, 06:20:24 pm »

233. Replace cat treats with rat poison.
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HissinhWalnuts

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #117 on: January 21, 2014, 08:01:47 pm »

235: Do the duggy.
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Erils

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #118 on: January 22, 2014, 03:31:11 am »

Sorry, I ran out of ideas. I don't have any more left.

NOOOOOO!
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kahn1234

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #119 on: January 22, 2014, 04:40:06 am »

236) Pay two dozen strippers to run through the aisles naked.
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