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[Elephant Parade]

It would appear that the pirates have left for now. However, I fear they may be back.

Challenge the Eldritch Abomination to a duel.

"Fear me! I have killed many a man in my life time!"

(4)The Eldritch Abomination accepts!

"All officers at hand! Gentlemen, we're being boarded!" draw random, dignified weapon.

(5)You draw the Dapper Pistol, a legendary weapon amongst gentlemen.

Establish self as Viceadmiral of the Royal Navy. Apply cannon to pirate curs.

(2)You are unable to fire through the Forth Wall!

Draw dueling pistol in a dapper manner.

(2)You left your pistol in the other dimension!

[4]Cthulu steals everyone's hats!
[6]The Eldritch Abomination unleashes a diving attack! It dives into Excalibur, and dies.

Spoiler: Social Standings (click to show/hide)

Those blasted pirates messed up my records.

[LordSlowpoke]

MISTER GORBACHEV WOULD YOU KINDLY DISMANTLE THIS WALL IT IS VERY DISTURBING AND TO BE FRANK I AM NONPLUSSED BY ITS EXISTENCE

[WillowLuman]

"Well now, we seem to have dealt with the intruders."

Summon new hat.

[Sinlessmoon]

"HA! I have slain one!"

I request the gods to keep track of my kills!

[da_nang]

Cast Calm spell on everyone to stop the uncouth mess. Summon everyone to a fine banquet in Gideon, serving the most delightful brandy and hors d'oeuvre.

"Would you rather not enjoy this delectable table of treats while I discuss important politics with my fellow An-Xileel gentlemen?"

[ICBM pilot]

Get a more dapper hat and monocle hat

[ed boy]

Challenge Cthulu to a match of the queensberry rules.

[Remuthra]

>JOIN.

Tip fancy hat, good chap.

[Coolrune206]

Appear. Turn around, see Cthulu, slam English biscuit into mouth. Say-"Challenge accepted."

[Ultimuh]

Wanders into the room, notices what's going on and promptly turns on his heels,
walking out again in a fast-paced manner.

[BFEL]

Join as The Rather Dapper Matriarch of All These Dapper Gentlemen.
Shame them for ruining a perfectly good tea set with pirates and alternate dimensions.

"That is no way for proper gentlemen to behave boys!"

[WillowLuman]

Cthulu is dead, BTW. He lost the duel. Many of your actions will be rather difficult.

[TCM]

Stab someone through the back with a knife and take their stuff, like a true pirate!

[Gentlefish]

Utilise Cane-Sword that all fine gentiles own and carry to parry the blow from the vagabond.

[Yourmaster]

Reach into my pocket and pull ouit my dapper flintlock pistol. Aim it at the nearest man's head.