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Author Topic: Paranoia XP- LESS URGENT NEED FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS. HOORAY.  (Read 9193 times)

tahujdt

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #45 on: December 04, 2013, 09:08:55 am »

Actually, I don't have the spare time to join another forum game. My apologies, Friend Computer.
Please enter a retirement booth at your nearest convenience. Failure to enter a retirement booth in a timely manner is treason.
Friend Computer had previously declared that he would not force anyone who was busy to become a Troubleshooter, because they had already selflessly overburdened themselves in his service. You are giving an order contrary to The Computer, which is treason. In addition, you falsely accused another citizen of treason, which is treason.
Au contrare. Giglamesh was expressing disinterest in not merely being a Troubleshooter, but in participating in Alpha Complex activities of any sort. A citizen who does not wish to participate in participating in Alpha Complex activities of any sort is instructed to enter a retirement booth in a timely manner, so as to receive a pleasant retirement. Making false claims about Alpha Complex policy is treason. Moreover, defending a treasonous citizen is treason. Moreover, accusing a loyal citizen of treason is treason.
You have incorrectly interpreted Giglamesh's statement to mean that he does not wish to live in Alpha Complex. That is incorrect. Since Alpha Complex is the perfect place to live, only a Commie mutant traitor would not wish to live here. Since Giglamesh is not a Commie mutant traitor, he therefore does, in fact, wish to live here. He made his statement of nonparticipation solely in regard to this thread, which is dedicated specifically to Troubleshooters. The Computer had previously granted him permission to opt out of Troubleshooting duty because he was already overburdened with selfless sacrifice for Computer and Complex. Making false representations of the intentions of another citizen is treason. Accusing a loyal citizen of treason is treason. Being a traitor is treason. Treason is treason.

All current Troubleshooters in this thread are clearly identified as Red clearance at this time. Failure to read the Op is treason.
You had not provided identification of yourself as a Troubleshooter, so I, without any information to the contrary, assumed that the only Computer-sanctioned name mentioned in your posts which matched your username was, in fact, yours. While that is not in and of itself treasonous, it led to you accusing an innocent citizen (me) of treason, which is treason.
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Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #46 on: December 04, 2013, 09:23:56 am »

Actually, I don't have the spare time to join another forum game. My apologies, Friend Computer.
Please enter a retirement booth at your nearest convenience. Failure to enter a retirement booth in a timely manner is treason.
Friend Computer had previously declared that he would not force anyone who was busy to become a Troubleshooter, because they had already selflessly overburdened themselves in his service. You are giving an order contrary to The Computer, which is treason. In addition, you falsely accused another citizen of treason, which is treason.
Au contrare. Giglamesh was expressing disinterest in not merely being a Troubleshooter, but in participating in Alpha Complex activities of any sort. A citizen who does not wish to participate in participating in Alpha Complex activities of any sort is instructed to enter a retirement booth in a timely manner, so as to receive a pleasant retirement. Making false claims about Alpha Complex policy is treason. Moreover, defending a treasonous citizen is treason. Moreover, accusing a loyal citizen of treason is treason.
You have incorrectly interpreted Giglamesh's statement to mean that he does not wish to live in Alpha Complex. That is incorrect. Since Alpha Complex is the perfect place to live, only a Commie mutant traitor would not wish to live here. Since Giglamesh is not a Commie mutant traitor, he therefore does, in fact, wish to live here. He made his statement of nonparticipation solely in regard to this thread, which is dedicated specifically to Troubleshooters. The Computer had previously granted him permission to opt out of Troubleshooting duty because he was already overburdened with selfless sacrifice for Computer and Complex. Making false representations of the intentions of another citizen is treason. Accusing a loyal citizen of treason is treason. Being a traitor is treason. Treason is treason.
Anyone who wishes to live, wishes to live in Alpha Complex. Some individuals, however, do not wish to live. These individuals are defective and must be retired so they may receive treatment for their defects. Attempting to interfere with attempts to fix defects in loyal citizens of Alpha Complex is treason. Moreover, this thread is the only part of Alpha Complex in this sector, and hence a lack of desire to participate in this thread indicates a lack of desire to participate in Alpha Complex. No other parts of Alpha Complex exist in this sector. Recognizing non-Alpha Complex threads as Alpha Complex is treason. Moreover, Giglamesh did not mention any possibility of relocating to his previous duties, and assuming that a loyal citizen will do something he did not say he would do is treason. I did not wish to commit treason, so I assumed in my finite wisdom that he did not intend to do any more than he stated. Moreover, as you are trying to coerce me to be more suspicious and look for meanings that do not exist in my fellow citizens' words, you are trying to coerce me to commit treason, which is treason.

[P.S. This is getting absurd. Would you be opposed to leaving out all cases of "Falsely accusing someone of treason is treason," "Being a traitor is treason*," and "Treason is treason*" from future OOC posts, to save time?
*Seriously, are the tautologies really needed to prove that someone is a traitor?]

Quote
All current Troubleshooters in this thread are clearly identified as Red clearance at this time. Failure to read the Op is treason.
You had not provided identification of yourself as a Troubleshooter, so I, without any information to the contrary, assumed that the only Computer-sanctioned name mentioned in your posts which matched your username was, in fact, yours. While that is not in and of itself treasonous, it led to you accusing an innocent citizen (me) of treason, which is treason.
All members of this thread are Troubleshooters, as detailed in the OP. Failure to read the OP is treason.
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Remuthra

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #47 on: December 04, 2013, 02:52:45 pm »

All members of this thread are Troubleshooters, as detailed in the OP. Failure to read the OP is treason.
The OP contains information in colors above your clearance level. Failure to skip these portions until such time as you are cleared to read them is treason. By incorrectly asserting failure to read the entire OP is treason, you have admitted to reading the entire OP, including portions above your clearance, which is treason. Please stand by for summary execution. We hope your experience was satisfactory, and wish you a nice day.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #48 on: December 04, 2013, 03:20:37 pm »

All members of this thread are Troubleshooters, as detailed in the OP. Failure to read the OP is treason.
The OP contains information in colors above your clearance level. Failure to skip these portions until such time as you are cleared to read them is treason. By incorrectly asserting failure to read the entire OP is treason, you have admitted to reading the entire OP, including portions above your clearance, which is treason. Please stand by for summary execution. We hope your experience was satisfactory, and wish you a nice day.
You will notice that I never stated that failure to read the entire OP is treason. If you will turn your attention towards the non-treasonous portions of the OP:

Welcome, new Troubleshooters! Thank you for joining the fight to keep the Computer safe from Traitors! Your clearance level has now been raised to RED. If you are not familiar with the duties of a Troubleshooter, the Computer thanks you for conforming to security regulations. Only Traitors break security regulations. Your new clearance level qualifies you to read the first section part of the Paranoia XP Handbook. Reading parts of higher clearance levels is punishable by summary execution. The second section has clearance Ultraviolet. If you are discovered harboring knowledge of the second section of the book, you will be summarily executed.
Additionally, you will be provided a basic color guide of security levels for easy understanding. Remember, the color levels you do not have access to are themselves classified portions of this guide, so do not look at those portions of the guide.

Spoiler: Color Guide (click to show/hide)

After reading the first portion of the guide, complete a Troubleshooter Application Form and submit it to your Game Master. The Game Master, in his infinite wisdom, will allow players to submit their own character sheets. Remember: The Computer is your friend.  Therefore, the Game Master is your friend. The Game Master will be playing a Straight Game.

Player List:

REVISED AS PER DIRECTIVE 220.6.3.5.721.51.52..6.

This contains all the information you were inexplicably unaware of. This further indicates a lack of knowledge of the OP--treason, as noted--or else a deep ignorance of how the processes of how Alpha Complex works, which indicates Communist roots, which are treasonous.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #49 on: December 04, 2013, 03:48:12 pm »

This Loyal Citizen has finished revising and presenting his Troubleshooter Application form! it is currently undergoing Processing.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #50 on: December 04, 2013, 04:11:56 pm »

The new avatar that Friend Gamemaster is using is excellent. Truly, the Computer would be proud of Friend Gamemaster's choice.
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Remuthra

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #51 on: December 04, 2013, 04:13:30 pm »

The Game Master thanks Citizen GreatWyrmGold-R-GWG. It was discovered that the previous Computer Approved Avatar may have been harboring Commie fugitives.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #52 on: December 05, 2013, 12:31:47 pm »

It is to be pointed out that failure to submit all Troubleshooter Service Application forms immediately is inefficient, and therefore treasonous.

Have a nice daycycle.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #53 on: December 06, 2013, 10:39:15 pm »

Ah. Who are the Commie mutant traitors who have failed to return their character applications?
EDIT: It was... TAHUJDT! And also all other citizens who didn't submit applications.
Failure to turn in an application is treason, citizens.
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[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #54 on: December 07, 2013, 05:10:19 pm »

Friend Computer! Please lead us in some Friendly Complex Appreciation songs!
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Remuthra

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Re: Paranoia XP- XANF)IIHNWFUJNSIFNJ
« Reply #55 on: January 01, 2014, 11:36:16 pm »

Attention, New Troubleshooters! While we are STILL waiting for duty-driven model citizens to join your squad, the Computer has requested that you be issued a Complimentary Bump Object. Your Bump Object is the bearing ball. Thank you for your patience, and have a nice day.

tahujdt

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Re: Paranoia XP- URGENT NEED FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS
« Reply #56 on: January 02, 2014, 01:15:05 am »

Thank you for the reminder, Friend Computer! I have been too busy of late with decorating my sector for Computermas but, I now have time to submit my application.
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Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
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I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

flame99

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Re: Paranoia XP- URGENT NEED FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS
« Reply #57 on: January 02, 2014, 01:22:05 am »

This humble citizen is considering becoming a troubleshooter, and would like to confirm that all character sheets are to be sent to the computer via the personal message system. Also, I would like to ask what your tolerance is on accepting the subset of troubleshooters commonly known as "complete and utter newbs".
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Remuthra

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Re: Paranoia XP- URGENT NEED FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS
« Reply #58 on: January 02, 2014, 01:30:36 am »

This humble citizen is considering becoming a troubleshooter, and would like to confirm that all character sheets are to be sent to the computer via the personal message system. Also, I would like to ask what your tolerance is on accepting the subset of troubleshooters commonly known as "complete and utter newbs".
Fear not, Citizen, for all Troubleshooters are worthy of the just cause of smiting the Computer's foes! Or dying horribly and being replaced after the template wipe.

Indeed, to prevent Commie spying, all applications should be sent via the Personal Messaging System.

tahujdt

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Re: Paranoia XP- URGENT NEED FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS
« Reply #59 on: January 02, 2014, 02:08:41 am »

Friend Computer, I would like to report a Commie in the 'Things That Made You Go WTF Today' thread! He is presumably well-armored, as when I shot him, he only laughed and continued to unfurl his traitorous banner. His name is Helg-O-LND, and I would furthermore like to requisiton a cone rifle and two dozen tacnuke shells for immediate use.
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Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?
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