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[Tomcost]

-snip-

I can usually bottle it up until it goes away, but sometimes I just can't take it anymore and I burst out.
I don't really do sport anymore since a while. I really can't think of something that I would actually want to do. I've quit swimming because it got too competetive and running because of my ankles. (And also because I suck at it because my feet aren't in line with my knees).

Maybe I know the cause of your problems now! You are in plain puberty, yet you don't do any kind of sport nor competitive activity. You are accumulating testosterone, man! Really, any kind of sport helps to lower that level. Because when you get pissed off all that accumulated testosterone explodes into rage. Just burn it away. Hell, even popping some heads in COD helps with that.

You can always get to a gym. Everybody can go to a gym. (I find it boring, but I don't know what do you like to do).

[Shook]

-snip-

I'll try my best, I guess. Just something I'll have to keep in mind, to try and not act on it.

Well, i may have to correct myself slightly; try not to act on it in a manner that will hurt you or anyone near you. Not acting upon it at all is pretty much just bottling it up, so maybe, as LordBucket mentioned, find a non-destructive outlet for your anger. I see you mentioned that writing is a possibility, perhaps you could just write all your furious rantings into a text document? Creativity doesn't matter that much, it's more about getting the anger out of your system.

[NullForceOmega]

When I was in my teens, I had a lot of problems with my life in general.  Those problems made me extremely angry, to the point where I lashed out with extreme levels of violence.  In those years I hospitalised many of people, caused significant property damage, and probably ruined more than a dozen people's lives.  Anger is a response to your environment, it is amplified by stress.  The only way I found that I could use was a system I call 'locking down'.  The premise is simple, you immediately stop.  Order your muscles to freeze, control your breathing, do not respond to situations that anger you.  The execution is hard, you have to fight yourself, all your instincts demand action and you have to force yourself to stop.  I can't say that this is the best system ever devised, but I know it works for me, it is probably the only thing that has prevented me from commiting murder on several occasions.  I have no idea if this post will be even remotely helpful, but it may help you avoid causing further damage when things get out of control.  The only way to deal with the anger itself is to assess the cause of said anger, and develop methods for dealing with them.

[Imp]

I have used NullForceOmega's method, or one very similar to it.  When the more powerful parts of myself agree that I'm not in a life threatening situation, I was able to use it quite effectively to prevent expressing rage physically.  Interestingly, though it does work when my 'motivation' is 'I'm mad about something', it utterly fails for me at least when the motivation is 'I'm going to die if I don't do something'.  However, that's not exactly a bad thing so.  But I do think it's worth trying, this method.

[Jelle]

I doubt it, because I'm 14. But if you still think you know me, you could PM me if you want.

Ah never mind then, you strongly reminded me of someone I used to know. Nice person, but a genuine berserk if you pissed him off hehe.

Dear this forum has some short fuses doesn't it? Remind me to avoiding setting you guys off!
In all seriousness here's some additional advice I can give on dealing with these emotions based on how I deal. I consider myself an impulsive person, but not an emotional one. What I mean is that I'm quick to act on any emotions I experience, but almost always do this in a calm and rational manner. If for instance someone is angering me in some phsical way, I may coldly state I will break every bone in their body if they continue.
Either way I rarely get riled up or emotional, I'd say me being resolute in that manner helps me rarely get emotional. Hope that helps.

[miauw62]

The problem with not letting myself do anything is that at the point that I go berserk, I've really bottled all my anger up already to the point where I just can't bottle it up any more.

And I wish I was strong enough to punch hard enough to hospitalize people. My punches are weak and easily dodged, which basically just makes me going berserk another way to bully me and laugh about me. :/

[LordBucket]

The problem with not letting myself do anything is that at the point that I go berserk, I've really bottled all my anger up already to the point where I just can't bottle it up any more.

So let it out. Simply find an outlet that doesn't harm anyone, yourself included.

I wish I was strong enough to punch hard enough to hospitalize people. My punches are weak

If you take the punching bag approach, that will help with this also. Somebody suggested martial arts on the previous page. Why not give that a try? Try an art that emphasizes control and focus, like karate.

[Tomcost]

As I said before, you have to unleash it somehow. You can get into competitive gaming if you are not the kind of person who likes sports. But you have to unleash it somehow to prevent those outbursts.

Also, now we know something more: there are some bullying problems that appear to be building this anger up. The clue to avoiding this is making the bullying not worth the effort, aka not paying atention (I know that it may not be possible sometimes). You have to break this cycle, and to do that you have to prevent that anger to come out in that moment when someone is bullying you. If you stop doing that, there is chance that you will be left alone (after a period of even more inensive bullying, because that would be probably the first reaction, but after not getting results it will go away)

[miauw62]

I have been trying to ignore it for 2 years. Still hasn't really stopped. And there's no outlet I can use when I'm at school.

And I'm hesistant to try martial arts mainly because I feel pain very easily.

[Tomcost]

About feeling pain: at the beginning, everybody does. The idea is to get used to it and become more pain tolerant.

[Imp]

I have been trying to ignore it for 2 years. Still hasn't really stopped. And there's no outlet I can use when I'm at school.

And I'm hesistant to try martial arts mainly because I feel pain very easily.

My martial arts classes were not about feeling pain.  Sure, there -was- some pain involved, but they were about thinking and moving.  Learning and being able to move better.

Almost all martial arts classes allow you to watch the class without joining it, most will allow you to watch several.  Almost all martial arts classes will also allow you to try one class for free.  There are MANY styles of martial arts, and some are pain based.  You already know you're not interested in those.  Great.

When you walk into a dojo, assuming a class isn't in session, the instructor(s) will probably want to talk with you.  Talk to them, be honest with them, both about the anger issues and your dislike of pain - tell them why you are there and also what you don't want to experience.  Ask the teacher(s) if they think their dojo is a right choice for what you are looking for, and if not, where would they recommend you go.

You pay for martial arts classes.  In many cases the teacher(s) need that income.  They often are interested in what their students and prospective students want and do not want to pay for and experience.  That's not a certainty, and some styles (Um... Muay Thai comes to mind big time) really are highly pain based and significantly painful to learn and practice, so definitely avoid those.

Certain other styles are especially gentle, and you might get a great deal out of them without -any- pain beyond the discomfort of getting into shape.  Tai Chi comes to mind, that's often taught without any painful contact.  Even sparing tends to be 'push hands', where there is contact, but not force of the sort that hurts.

[Jelle]

Well there's your problem. Bullies prey on the weak, and your emotional outbursts as a result of the bullying can definatly be seen as weakness. These social predators will do anything to get an emotional reaction and they know you will give it to them.

Turning the other cheek and ignoring their moronics could work for you, but they may just as well get a kick out of bullying someone who will not defend himself. If ignoring fails there's involving a supervisor, but if your school is shit and doesn't care about its students (a likely case sadly) then the only option is to man up and deal with the problem directly. Get some combat training just to show you mean business, violence is the last resort (most bullies won't bother).
If not, I am afraid your are fated to suffer the bully, savage as adolescents at your age can be.

[Imp]

Amusingly, I was severely bullied as a youth.  Martial arts classes were my salvation in a sense - when bullies approached I'd turn to one of the other misfits around me (I was very much a misfit) and offer them an impromptu self defense lesson.  'Grab my wrist' I'd say, and then I'd go on to 'give a little show' about ways to get out of a wrist grab, and 'levels' of kindness and meanness in doing so, with lots of eye contact, mostly aggressive eye contact at appropriate moments in my 'patter', with the watching bullies.  'If it was someone you liked who grabbed you, maybe your Dad got drunk or something, you don't want to hurt him he doesn't know what he's doing but he's your dad... here, do it this way, no pain, no issues, you're just free.  That didn't hurt, did it?  Good.  Lock both hands onto my wrist, hold me, tight as you can, I'm not going to hurt you this time either, but I am going to get free no matter what you do to stop me.


There, see?  That didn't hurt, right?  And yeah, I am free.  Now, if you want to hurt someone a bit, you can do this... don't grab -too- tight yet, you're about to want to let go really bad.  I'm going to stop the pain the moment you ease your grip.  Soon as I can escape, I will.  Right, so you felt that.  Would you like to lock your grip now?  See how this could force you to release me, even if you intended to hold on?  It wouldn't injure you, but you will hurt for a few hours.  No?'

Turn to the watchers, 'Would anyone else like to see if they can hold me?'  Turn immediately to the worst of the bullies.  'You, maybe?  You're really tough.  Want to bet you can hold my wrist and I actually -can't- make you let me go?'


I got a weird reputation, but I already had a weird reputation before then.  Only the harassment got a lot quieter, a lot less physical, and I was given a lot of space.  Martial arts in a sense fixed some of the broken things in my life.

[Vector]

The problem with not letting myself do anything is that at the point that I go berserk, I've really bottled all my anger up already to the point where I just can't bottle it up any more.

And I wish I was strong enough to punch hard enough to hospitalize people. My punches are weak and easily dodged, which basically just makes me going berserk another way to bully me and laugh about me. :/

I am really sorry you're being bullied, but that doesn't make what you're doing in response okay.  Your feelings are completely legitimate.  That does not mean it's all right to act on them in this way.  Get strong and get formidable, but your goal should be to never get into a fight in the first place, not hospitalize people.  You need to solve this problem ASAP, because when you're young the results may not be too severe--juvenile hall, expulsion, suspensions, whatever, but when you're older you absolutely must be able to resolve your fights with friends, significant others, and assholes in another way.

Might doesn't make right.

[Shook]

I totally agree that might doesn't make right, but i feel i must chime in to say that at some point, it becomes COMPLETELY impossible to control your rage, and all the logic in the world won't be enough to dissuade you from the extremely single-minded pursuit. I've had this unpleasant experience a few times, and as much as i'd like to say that i was in control, i wasn't at all. It's as if all higher functions of ones brain are completely turned off, and the only thing remaining is blinding rage. Up until the rage fades to a slightly more managable level ("i still really feel like punching you but i can think straight enough not to"), there is only ONE thought in your head, as opposed to the usual torrent of thoughts that go through a human brain, and that thought is 99% of the time related to physical violence. It's a bit like a lit fuse on a bomb, in that once it goes off, you can only do damage control afterwards.

What i mean to say is that i don't think miauw is the kind of person who'd go apeshit on someone to solve a heated argument (i may be completely wrong though, in which case shame on me). If my experiences are anything to go by, it's primarily because people keep pissing him off past the rage breaking point, and since there's little threat to their personal safety, they do so with impunity, and subsequently point and laugh. Pardon me if i'm putting words into mouths here, but i think the main reason he wants to be a heavy hitter is for deterring reasons, so that people won't torment him to begin with.

But Miauw, try to remember that as long as you have just a little bit of control over yourself, smacking someone isn't a good idea. It's still not a good idea if you've completely lost it, but at that point one can't think clearly enough not to. It is, however, infinitely easier to control yourself when people AREN'T pissing you off intentionally. Isn't it possible to get away from those assholes?