"So anyone know the basis of how the Elves make thier wooden stuff?
Do they sing to trees? or do other....ahem.... stuff with them?"
Kari suddenly comes over feeling very embarrassed.
"Maybe i should just go and experiment with that three over there....."
Kari walks over to a tree and starts asking it politely to listen to her and make a sharp wooden sword out of its oh-so-lovely branches. (Can somoene other than me roll for this please? or can the GMs call it? Am i even doing this right?).
"Do you really think that will work? Just carve it like a normal person and wait until we invent cameras before you start doing other stuff with them."
"What. Why...Why would you want to video an elf doing explicit things to a tree?"
"A...Anyway. Erm, tree? could you pretty pretty please turn one of your limbs into a nice strong sharp sword?" Kari asks, trying to be as polite as possible.
The tree does nothing. Kari thinks she hears a faint laugh.
She decides to repeat the same thing whilst giving the tree a normal, professional masseus-type massage (as well as one can give a rather large tree a massage).
Come on! Please, please, please, work! She thinks she see a branch twitch even though there is no wind. She again thinks she hears faint laughing.
Thirdly, she tries giving the tree a far more...intimate massage whilst whispering sweet nothings to the tree inbetween asking it to create weapons from its branches. She also adds in the odd snuggling/cuddling notion. An intricate dagger falls from the upper branches of the tree. Disembodied whispers rustle through the tree and play at Kari's long golden hair.
"YES! Thanks you so much you big, strong tree!" Another two daggers fall from the tree.
Next, She decides to repeat the pleading in a sing song voice, interspersed with whispers to the trees good points whilst dancing full clothed around the tree, with the occasional cuddling/snuggling and caressing, intimate and slightly erotic massage of the tree. Several more daggers, along with a short sword, fall from the tree.
Smiling at her progress, kari then decides to kick thing up a notch. "Its the only way....".
She turns and sees a few of her friends are still watching her. "Could...Could you guys turn around or close your eyes please?"