Hi, I'm mostly a lurker on this forum, but I feel like talking to someone who I don't know for a minute. So here is a little about me:
I'm in the swedish equivalent of high school, studying natural sciences. It's sophomore year and the school I go to is considered one of the top schools in my city, altough in Sweden there are no truly private schools as schools can't charge students. I have a couple of very good friends, some in school, some outside. I generally spend my free time hanging out with them, practicing music or program. Doesn't seem so bad, right?
Yet, I have thrown school completely in the shitter. I have skipped over 20% of classes, 3 assignments overdue and basically not been doing ANY school work for the past month or so. Only subjects I'm not falling behind in is math and history because math is shit easy and history is interesting to me. I think I have SAD or something because usually I'm feeling blue around this time of the year, but this time it hit me hard. I lost all motivation to do anything for about one and a half week. And now when I'm behind I get so stressed and anxious I'm paralyzed. I've never been especially good at focusing at schoolwork and even when I feel like doing something I usually just end up programming or playing music. I don't have much motivation either for school, higher education is the only thing that seems useful and if I pursue that it feels like I will just fail when I do something stupid like I do now. I worry about the future and I just don't know what to do.