Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Grek]

Ithan, you have all this gold now. Think of all the stuff you could be buying. You could have a pair of sandstone golem bodyguards, some healing mushrooms and some elf rations. You might be asking why you would want gross-tasting elf rations. The answer is that they're not for you. Feed them to your locust swarms for extra swarming! That's all elf food is good for, really.

[GreatWyrmGold]

((In a pinch, you can also eat elf food.))

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: Garden Gambit

Turn 7

Hey Ithan, being the powe-player you are it should be easy for you to defeat at least 10 of the elves on the first floor. You should try to summon holy angelic beings though, as they are more reliable than hellish fiends.

"I'm actually going to put my ego aside and not get ahead of myself here. I've never gone dungeon crawling before. Lets not call it easy until I have a pile of elf corpses at my feet. I'll try to keep your preference for good aligned summons in mind... I guess."

Ithan, you have all this gold now. Think of all the stuff you could be buying. You could have a pair of sandstone golem bodyguards, some healing mushrooms and some elf rations. You might be asking why you would want gross-tasting elf rations. The answer is that they're not for you. Feed them to your locust swarms for extra swarming! That's all elf food is good for, really.

"Works for me. Hey! Shopkeep! I got some purchasing to do! I want two mushrooms, two rations, and both of your golems!"

"I'm not going to even begin to guess where you got the money to buy all that. Your purchase seems a bit rich for a creature of your station, no?"

"Fuck you. We doing business or not?"

"Sure thing. That will be 21 Gold. Here is the edible, and if you will excuse me for a moment, I shall fetch the golems from the back..."

-21 Gold
+2 Elf Veggie Rations
+2 Health Mushrooms

"I think I'm starting to hate that shopkeeper... He's not going to be one of those annoying recurring NPCs I have to put up with in every town, is he?"


"Hehehehe..."

"I'm back! I'd ask if you missed me, but I doubt your lot is capable of feeling affection. Anyway, I brought the golems. Meet Gronk and Ignacio. Gronk, Ignacio, meet your new masters."

"Me Gronk. Me good at lifting heavy things and mashing squishy skulls in."

"I am... Ignacio. It will be a... pleasure serving you Don Antman."

"They should both make good enough meat-shields. Sandstone Golems have terrible AC, so they might not last long, but if they get a few levels under their belts they should be fully serviceable party members. If you are planning on using them as more than cannon fodder, you might want to get them proper classes at some point."

Ignacio and Gronk, Sandstone Golems, have joined the party!

"So... master... where too next?"

"To the Pharaoh's garden. We are going to try the challenge there. Do I get to rest first Weird?"


"Nah. There was some discussion about changing some of your spells around, but nobody directly suggested that you rest this turn. With a party as big as yours, you'd be wasting alot of money just to get two spells back anyway.

You head to the east exit, and leave town. The gardens are well kept with fountains and exotic plants. You are almost immediately stopped by two elves and three medium sized canines."

"Greetings, and welcome to the Pharaoh's garden. Before we begin fighting, allow me to explain the rules. This is where outsiders such as yourself come to impress the Royals and Nobles by dungeon crawling.

If you clear any level, you are granted access to the royal palace. Clearing any level deeper than the first earns you an audience with somebody. 'Clearing a level' is defined as making it from the level entrance to either the dungeon exit or the teleporter to a more deeper level. Other than that you can treat this like any other dungeon crawl.

Slain garden employees are resurrected periodically, and our belongings are insured. We wont take anything you do personally, so feel free to ask questions or exchange witty banter while we fight. Now then, if you lot are ready, HAVE AT IT!"


"Thank you for the information. It all seems simple enough. NOW PREPARE TO DIE!"

"Time for me to show these elves what I'm made out of!" *HHHHIISSSSSSSSSS!*

"Duhurhurhur! Gronk Smash!"

"Easy there Don Gronk... This is our first fight. Try not to get... destroyed."
----

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Current Notes:

Quest:
Odds of Success if Flare Gun is fired now: 2%

Ithan:
-10/10 HP
-Has cast summon Cherub once this dungeon
-Has cast summon Hellhound once this dungeon

Oscar:
-3/3 HP
-Has not cast any spells

Gronk:
-6/6 HP

Ignacio:
-5/5 HP

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The City of Atemshire:
Dungeon Map will go up When/If current battle is won.

[scapheap]

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

Summon a Hellhound 3 north
Oscar stay still
Gronk and Ignacio move behind the hellhound to make a ^

[Cheesecake]

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

Summon a Hellhound 3 north
Oscar stay still
Gronk and Ignacio move behind the hellhound to make a ^

+1

[anailater]

Enquire about photo portals in this dungeon.

[Grek]

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

Summon a Hellhound 3 north
Oscar stay still
Gronk and Ignacio move behind the hellhound to make a ^

+1

+1

The silicate cunning of Don Ignacio impresses me. He is truly a worthy golem.

[Skyrunner]

Spoiler: I am a terrible person (click to show/hide)

...alot of money

[GreatWyrmGold]

Nice.

Anyways, isn't this the place the 'bots sent us to? What good will killing them do if they just come back?

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

Summon a Hellhound 3 north
Oscar stay still
Gronk and Ignacio move behind the hellhound to make a ^

+1

+1
The silicate cunning of Don Ignacio impresses me. He is truly a worthy golem.

+1

[Detoxicated]

Ay Ithan, remember hellhounds are rather peculiar beasts of the smelly variety. Instead you should call upon trusty angels.

[GiglameshDespair]

We have two meatshields. Summon a ranged creature like  cherub instead behind the golems and have it attack the closest enemy.

[GreatWyrmGold]

But the summons are expendable, while the golems are surprisingly squishy. We want them to survive the fights so they can level up and get classes and be better meatshields!

[escaped lurker]

But the summons are expendable, while the golems are surprisingly squishy. We want them to survive the fights so they can level up and get classes and be better meatshields!

He has a good point there... - would be a shame to ruin our investment that soon, and without valid or entertaining reasons to do so none the less.

+1

[Travisplo]

PTW and where are our summons.

[Weirdsound]

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

"Cuz me is brave and strong!"

+1 Chemistry between Scapheap and Gronk!


I like Gronk. Don't know why.

"Cuz me is loveable and powerful!"

+1 Chemistry between Cheesecake and Gronk!

I like Gronk. Don't know why.

"Cuz me is awesome and humble!"

+1 Chemistry between Grek and Gronk!


I like Gronk. Don't know why.

"Cuz me is intelegunt and honest!"

+1 Chemistry between Grek and Gronk!

"You do know you are talking to a quote pyramid... right Don Gronk?"

"A what now?"

*Facepalms*

The silicate cunning of Don Ignacio impresses me. He is truly a worthy golem.

"I havn't the foggiest idea what you are talking about. Ignacio is but... a humble servant. Wit and cunning are above my pay grade." *Smirks and winks*

+2 Chemistry between Grek and Ignacio


Anyways, isn't this the place the 'bots sent us to? What good will killing them do if they just come back?

"I think our employers just need the elves out of the way long enough to stage a jailbreak. I'm willing to assume they have timed things out and that the next scheduled resurrection isn't going to be any time soon."


Enquire about photo portals in this dungeon.

"Hey! You said we could ask questions, right? Mind telling me if y'all keep a photoporter around here? I want the players to spoil me with cat treats and toys!" *Mewl*

"Not sure. Like any good dungeon we randomize rooms fairly frequently. We have one from time to time. Haven't seen one recently, but then again, I don't stray from my post often. There could be one in an adjacent room for all I know."

Ay Ithan, remember hellhounds are rather peculiar beasts of the smelly variety. Instead you should call upon trusty angels.

"It appears that you are outvoted friend. I have a feeling I'll be summoning a Hell Hound next turn. Speaking of which, Weirdsound, where is the turn?"


"I'm at school today, and don't have access to my computer with maptools at the moment. I'll try to get one up later tonight, and should be good for a couple tomorrow."