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Author Topic: You are an evil witch  (Read 1674 times)

Xantalos

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Re: You are an evil witch
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2013, 04:06:19 pm »

As for the children, if the fairy tale is anything to go by, it is their stepmother who is trying to make their father abandoned them. Get rid of her and they have no reason to bother you again. I'm sure if she is trying to get rid of children, she deserves the worst of our magic.

After checking to make sure we have a hansel and gretel story on our hands, approach the woodcutter's house. Approach his wife and ask if she would be willing to sell her children for ageless beauty. If she agrees, have her sign a bill of sale and then turn her into a statue that will be beautiful forever. Keep the bill of sale, and don't tell the woodcutter or his children that we have it; we can use it to our advantage later.
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Nirur Torir

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Re: You are an evil witch
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2013, 05:07:59 pm »

Think of additional traps and barriers we could set up.
If they were easy to set-up, you have done so already.

Attempt to put a curse on the enchanters attempting to invade and drain our forest. Make it so that those who go into the forest fight among each other for their own greed for more land.
It's an enchanted forest. Meddling in its nature isn't a worthwhile endeavor, or the enchanters would have done so already. If you tried to curse them more directly, they would quickly notice and escalate.

As for the children, if the fairy tale is anything to go by, it is their stepmother who is trying to make their father abandoned them. Get rid of her and they have no reason to bother you again. I'm sure if she is trying to get rid of children, she deserves the worst of our magic.

After checking to make sure we have a hansel and gretel story on our hands, approach the woodcutter's house. Approach his wife and ask if she would be willing to sell her children for ageless beauty. If she agrees, have her sign a bill of sale and then turn her into a statue that will be beautiful forever. Keep the bill of sale, and don't tell the woodcutter or his children that we have it; we can use it to our advantage later.
The woodsman always seems unhappy about the abandonment attempts. Dealing with the source of the problem is a sensible solution.

You change into your standard witching outfit, take your broom and a small urn of healing salve, and enter the cave. The mountains resist efforts at flying over them, and flying through non-euclidean empty spaces filled with invisible portals is unpleasant. First in the caves is the Tower of Hanoi puzzle. A quick tap and a muttered incantation resets it, and a blue-grey barrier springs into place behind you, marked with the words "Visitors are not welcome. Go away."

Several minutes of flying through carefully memorized twisting passages, some kobolds who gratefully accept the salve (they're surprisingly good neighbors. Unlike goblins, they just don't have the attention span to solve a Tower of Hanoi puzzle every time they want to forever-borrow a cup of flour), and a descent through a deep chasm later, the entrance is reached. The Flarethorn roses look even worse up close, and you mentally revise their recovery time estimate to a month.

A calm flight through the forest later finds you at the woodsman's house. It has three perfectly symmetrical rows of tulips on either side of the door, with hideous pink dog curtains in the windows. You knock politely at the door. A shrill voice yells out from inside, "Whatever it is, I'm not interested. Stop trying to trick me with your so-called 'magic' and bother somebody who cares."

.. You have never spoken to this person in your life.
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Weirdsound

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Re: You are an evil witch
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2013, 08:39:16 pm »

Is somebody muscling in on our turf?

"Is somebody trying to push 'so-called magic' here? I am Esmeralda, witch of the valley and cave. I have come because I require children for a project, and I hear you might have a couple to spare. I was hoping we could reach a deal, but I might have other business to attend to first if somebody is going around smearing the reputation of my art!"
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Armok

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Re: You are an evil witch
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2013, 11:31:41 pm »

Hmm, idea; set up a false hut with an effigy of ourselves, animated and glamoured to look and act like us, and stock it up with some petty charms to fend of visitors with. it's pretty much what we've been doing anyway, and we know all the standard stories by now, so we might as well automate it.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

GiglameshDespair

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Re: You are an evil witch
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2013, 08:45:08 am »

Is somebody muscling in on our turf?

"Is somebody trying to push 'so-called magic' here? I am Esmeralda, witch of the valley and cave. I have come because I require children for a project, and I hear you might have a couple to spare. I was hoping we could reach a deal, but I might have other business to attend to first if somebody is going around smearing the reputation of my art!"

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You fool. Don't you understand?
No one wishes to go on...
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