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[Harry Baldman]

"Well, I'd follow you, but the thing is, I do want to take a look at all these dead people first - some deduction is in order, you see! The findings of this investigation may be crucial to the mission, in fact!"

[BFEL]

"That is, unless it happens to be a trap, good fellow! Demons love nothing more than seeing you die with a stupid look on your face, don't you know. This is why Yagalians never investigate suspicious noises from unknown places! Especially not by themselves!"

"Which is why I would appreciate it if you'd leave the corpse alone for a moment and come with me. Don't worry, I'm sure the corpse will be here when we get back"

((You realize that by saying this you have guaranteed that it will disappear right? Or WAS THAT YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG?))

((I'm just hoping it either dissapears completely or stays where it is. No zambies for me, please))

((And Pancaek has officially learned nothing. ))

((I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? ))

((And thus began the total party kill.))

[USEC_OFFICER]

"Well, I'd follow you, but the thing is, I do want to take a look at all these dead people first - some deduction is in order, you see! The findings of this investigation may be crucial to the mission, in fact!"

"I doubt you'll find any clues besides the fact that they've been brutally murdered," Baldur grumbles.

[Harry Baldman]

"Ah, but 'brutally murdered' is such a vague term. The methods of murder, when closely examined, reveal quite a bit about the murderer! If there was, say, a 12-foot demon made of poisonous tentacles roaming about here, I'd assume I'd be able to discover some signs of such a thing from the bodies of its victims. Really, I'm wondering if the beasties in the woods did this or some other, as of yet undiscovered party is the culprit!"

[Niccolo]

Well, at least now we know what action Cyrus defaults to when the GM forgets he exists.

Yeah. Cyrus devotes a lot of time to combing his hair. He's like a slightly-more-functional Johnny Bravo with the voice of Michael Caine's and David Attenborough's love child.

"That is, unless it happens to be a trap, good fellow! Demons love nothing more than seeing you die with a stupid look on your face, don't you know. This is why Yagalians never investigate suspicious noises from unknown places! Especially not by themselves!"

"Which is why I would appreciate it if you'd leave the corpse alone for a moment and come with me. Don't worry, I'm sure the corpse will be here when we get back"

((You realize that by saying this you have guaranteed that it will disappear right? Or WAS THAT YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG?))

((I'm just hoping it either dissapears completely or stays where it is. No zambies for me, please))

((And Pancaek has officially learned nothing. ))

((I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? ))

((And thus began the total party kill.))

You have no idea.

"Well, I'd follow you, but the thing is, I do want to take a look at all these dead people first - some deduction is in order, you see! The findings of this investigation may be crucial to the mission, in fact!"

"I doubt you'll find any clues besides the fact that they've been brutally murdered," Baldur grumbles.

Are you going to make a more substantial action, USEC?

[USEC_OFFICER]

Baldur gives the dead bodies a wide bearth, and heads towards the centre of the village.

((Whoops.))

[GreatWyrmGold]

"Well, clothing is less durable than objects of great value, you must realize."

"There is literally nowhere on what remains of their persons to put things of great value."

"And what if one of these poor, poor people was at the center of some kind of holy elven prophecy that involved them utilizing an ancient, powerful family heirloom to save a whole lot of people or trees or whatever it is that elves save, and now they're dead and can't do anything about it, leaving priceless or at least fetching elven artifacts lying around?"

...
*smack*

"Besides, one of our fine companions seems to have found a really nifty bracelet in a bush of all places, so we also cannot discount the possibility of wonderful objects being located in a large mountain of corpses, either. It can't hurt to look, can it?"

"A pair of dice coming up twelve once doesn't guarantee it will happen next time."

"I'd like to examine how they were killed as well, which would work as a splendid bit of multitasking, yes?"

"Remarkably, trying to look for two things at once makes you less likely to find either."

"That is, unless it happens to be a trap, good fellow! Demons love nothing more than seeing you die with a stupid look on your face, don't you know. This is why Yagalians never investigate suspicious noises from unknown places! Especially not by themselves!"

*smack*
"There are at least two individuals investigating already. If you don't hurry, you will be the one left alone."

((I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? ))

*smack*

"Ah, but 'brutally murdered' is such a vague term. The methods of murder, when closely examined, reveal quite a bit about the murderer! If there was, say, a 12-foot demon made of poisonous tentacles roaming about here, I'd assume I'd be able to discover some signs of such a thing from the bodies of its victims. Really, I'm wondering if the beasties in the woods did this or some other, as of yet undiscovered party is the culprit!"

*smack*
"You are not a forensic postcognitive. I highly suspect you will be able to discern no specific information...and any of us can tell, for instance, that that individual was killed by ramming his femur through his chest. _{At least, I hope that's his own femur...} Anyways, what does that information tell you? That whoever did this was powerful and sadistic. Or powerful and insane. Probably numerous, too. You don't need to investigate the bodies to figure that out, and you can't figure anything else out."

[BFEL]

THUMB TWIDDLING!

[Niccolo]

So.

Thuun is an extraordinarily clumsy healer who's greatest achievement to date is misplacing his own legs, Lyu is the priest with a heart of gold (if it hasn't been pawned), Felice is so lucky that four-leafed clovers spontaneously grow out of his ears, Baldur really is the straight man in this comedy act and Ekoka is now master of the pimp-slap.

Since the Southlanders are the resident black people, I think there's some terrible racial commentary occurring.

Maybe I should stop over-analysing you guys and just accept you're all nuts.

[Pancaek]

So.

Thuun is an extraordinarily clumsy healer who's greatest achievement to date is misplacing his own legs, Lyu is the priest with a heart of gold (if it hasn't been pawned), Felice is so lucky that four-leafed clovers spontaneously grow out of his ears, Baldur really is the straight man in this comedy act and Ekoka is now master of the pimp-slap.

Since the Southlanders are the resident black people, I think there's some terrible racial commentary occurring.

Maybe I should stop over-analysing you guys and just accept you're all nuts.

((Well, I did just put 'luck' into google translate and picked two languages at random to come up with Felice's name, so I suppose it's kind of fitting.))

[BFEL]

So.

Thuun is an extraordinarily clumsy healer who's greatest achievement to date is misplacing his own legs, Lyu is the priest with a heart of gold (if it hasn't been pawned), Felice is so lucky that four-leafed clovers spontaneously grow out of his ears, Baldur really is the straight man in this comedy act and Ekoka is now master of the pimp-slap.

Since the Southlanders are the resident black people, I think there's some terrible racial commentary occurring.

Maybe I should stop over-analysing you guys and just accept you're all nuts.

((HEY! I saved the party with a nuclear volcano, I think that should count towards "Great Achievements"
And the legs thing technically happened while I was unconscious.))

[Harry Baldman]

((Besides, being a master of the pimp-slap would mean he only requires one slap to put both the impertinent and the subservient in their places. So Ekoka can't be said to have that down yet.

That would be a cool ability to have, though.))

[GreatWyrmGold]

Maybe I should stop over-analysing you guys and just accept you're all nuts.

((Probably. Although in my case, I think it's more because I'm not nuts.
And I imagined the slaps to be more like this than a "pimp slap".))

[Niccolo]

((Well, I did just put 'luck' into google translate and picked two languages at random to come up with Felice's name, so I suppose it's kind of fitting.))

You should try that with other little gems.

Like the village name? I wonder what it could mean?

Maybe I should stop over-analysing you guys and just accept you're all nuts.

((Probably. Although in my case, I think it's more because I'm not nuts.
And I imagined the slaps to be more like this than a "pimp slap".))

GOD DAMN IT'S 12:30 AM I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP LEAVE ME ALONE TVTROPES!

[GreatWyrmGold]

Just open the tabs and read them tomorrow.