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[Niccolo]

I hope you guys remember it's going to be your word against the innkeeper who's standing like right there.

Look all meek and defenceless, say above to guards.

The meek and defenceless, heavily armed, grizzled sailor.

Welcome to RtDs, where logic and sanity take a back seat to lying out of your ass.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I hope you guys remember it's going to be your word against the innkeeper who's standing like right there.

What, is he going to lie and say that we all laughed and gleefully destroyed his bar? I'd think that common sense should indicate that we didn't intentionally destroy his bar for no reason, and the evidence should show that the damage was pretty much exclusively done by Bruce here. (Which sucks for Mr. Life-Magicker, but hey, he's not me.)

[Pancaek]

((GWG has a point there, I mean what's he gonna try to say? 'The men I hired in case there was a fight did their job, arrest them!'))

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Man, I should have applied for this, this is amazing!
Speaking of, you were supposed to throw them out, not hulkify one dude, have each and every one of you get or give injuries to the other people, you broke one guys arm and, once,again, you turned a dude into the hulk, there's plenty reason for you to be arrested.

[Niccolo]

xD that's true, Lao is shit out of luck. And you guys should be okay... Although I recall Pancaek and Harry both using weapons... And Harry did break some dude's shins. Most clubs and bars frown on bouncers that use weapons!

Honestly, don't worry. Throwing the whole party in jail would be boring. What, would I have month-long turns of your incarceration? I mean, yeah, the mayor is going to be seriously unhappy with you guys. One of you clubbed him over the head, one of you stuck his head in a bucket, one of you spear-tackled him and the fourth turned him into a monster.

Oh, but the dice are fickle mistresses! (Okay, no, I gleefully pushed you all into this mess. The dice only helped things along.)

... Oh God. I'm turning into a GM in truth!

Man, I should have applied for this, this is amazing!

Feel free to join the queue. You'd be fourth in line, though... Well, third since Xantalos hadn't made a profile yet. Once I've gotten a decent handle on this game I might just expand the party.

[Pancaek]

((Weapons, what weapons? Do you see any lacerations on these fine gentlemen we threw outside? I deny ever using weapons. You can't prove anything.

also, that's one shitty mayor, starting fights like that. For the record, I did not vote for him))

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Apart from the hulk dude, and the fact half of you are injured in some way, remember, a weapon can be magic as well as normal weapons, it's easy to see that pele have used magic when everyone except mr mayor is harmed in some way.

[BFEL]

((Of COURSE I would get de-speeched right before I need it.))

Thuun ATTEMPTS to explain that he was only trying to fix some rather nasty wounds the Mayor incurred, but all that comes out is "GLABLUUBLUGGUD."

[Niccolo]

Lyu Brak displays an extremely silvery tongue, while the rest of you fail at diplomacy. I mean wow.

- Turn 7: The Good Priest -

"Why arrest me, though? I did not use any magic. Or damage any property. I swear it on my honor as a holy man."

Hope that works.

(4) "Why arrest me, though? I did not use any magic. Or damage any property. I swear it on my honor as a holy man,” you inform the captain.

He stops, blinks and notes the holy symbol hanging around your neck. “What’s a priest doing working as a bouncer?” he asks, curiously. He seems to have bought your story for the most part. (6) He even ignores your staff that matches the staff-shaped dent in the screaming Southlander’s shins.

“Oh, you know, I got stuck in this town during the Ten Day Night and needed some extra money.” He nods noncommittally; it must be a fairly common story this week.

"Honestly, officers, I was just doing my job as a bouncer. I had just gently but firmly escorted a troublemaker out of the door when the one who is still inside threw my into a table, dislocating my arm."

Look all meek and defenceless, say above to guards.

(5-1) You put on a reasonably plausible ‘meek and defenceless’ act, managing to look pathetically harmless despite your assortment of weapons, scars and general rough-and-tumble demeanour. “Honestly, officers, I was just doing my job as a bouncer. I had just gently but firmly escorted a troublemaker out of the door when the one who is still inside threw me into a table, dislocating my arm."

The guard captain seems to buy it… mostly. “And you didn’t draw your weapon?” he asks, looking pointedly at the empty sheathe on your hip.

(1) “Yeah, I absolutely did!” you holler gleefully. “Beat that giant dude a few times over the head with it, too!” About a second later you facepalm. You’re not sure what came over you.

(6) Lyu Brak swats you over the back of your head. “Quiet, idiot!” he hisses at you. “Ignore this one,” he explains to the captain. “He got tossed into a table and dislocated most of his left arm. Twice. So he’s a tad loopy from pain.” The captain nods and waves a hand at his guards, telling them to back down for the moment.

Baldur shrugs. "Last I checked I got a set of broken ribs trying to stop a patron from running amuck. Not my fault if I couldn't stop him from smashing up the place a bit."

(1) “BLAH BLAH BLAH. GUARDS SO NOSY.” You go to make a rude gesture at the captain, (4) but Lyu grabs your arm and forces it back down.

"I did not damage property, either, nor was my magic used improperly. I merely attempted to undo my comrade's mistake and restrain the mayor before he could hurt himself or others further."
Hope that works, too.

(1) “MAGIC IS AWESOME!” You yell and spin in a circle. “I threw the mayor into a bucket and Lao made him crazy!” You collapse to the floor and giggle uncontrollably.

(5) “Please ignore my good friend,” Lyu Brak interjects hastily. “He took a blow to the head. He did use magic, but it was only to separate a brawl and to pin down one very large attacker. He did no harm.”

The guardsman looks at you askance, but seems to trust the word of the good priest. He decides that Lyu Brak is the only sane one in the group.

Lyu Brak gained a new ability! The Good Priest!

(3) Your headache doesn’t fade, so magic is still painfully beyond your reach.

Captain: Wait, one of you actually did use magic?
Lyu Brak nods soberly. The captain sighs and  facepalms.
Captain: It’s worse than I thought. Father, I must ask you and your… friends… to accompany me to Shriekwind Bastion.
Lyu Brak: Whatever for, my good man?
Captain: Your friend here used magic. And so did the one inside, by the sounds of it.
Lyu Brak: They’re mages, it’s what they do. What’s wrong with magic, the Goddess Lunette’s gift to the world?
Captain: You… You really don’t get it. Look, priest, for your own protection I’m going to have to take you in. Before the crowd gets ugly.
The crowd does seem to be a bit restless. They seem particularly ill at ease over Ekoka’s presence. You’d think, this close to the border of Zue’Qki’Ptar they’d be used to Southlanders.

Just beyond the guards is a small carriage waiting. It’s the type normally used to transport prisoners so it’s not exactly comfortable, but at least it will get you out of the view of the small crowd.

Thuun ATTEMPTS to explain that he was only trying to fix some rather nasty wounds the Mayor incurred, but all that comes out is "GLABLUUBLUGGUD."

(6-3) “Hurgleflurgleblaarrgh!” you manage to mumble around your swollen jaw. You decide that charades is the way to explain what went down, but don't know how to sign "I accidentally turned him into a rage-monster and punched myself in the face".

The guardsman looks from you to the mayor. “What.” Of course, the hulkified mayor picks this time to wake up. Awesome.

He hacks and coughs. “Ugh. What… What happened?” he rumbles in a scarily deep voice. He sits up slowly. “I do say, what seems to be the matter, officers?” He blinks and looks down at himself. “Oh dear Goddess what the hell happened to me?” He… doesn’t seem entirely upset at being built like a freaking mountain. Just surprised.

(5) His beady eyes lock onto you. “You… The mage. I remember. You… tried to heal my arm?” The guardsman looks at you for confirmation and you nod. The mayor continues. “But… But I’m like this. Hm. Old Asclepius did say magic was acting a bit funny since one of you lot broke the Moon. Oh well, no harm done. My original was no great shakes, after all.”

Against all odds the mayor seems to be pleased! Well this is a pleasant turn of events. The mayor stands up shakily. There’s a tearing sound and the last shred of his dignity falls away. “Oh… Oh my,” he mutters. “You really did improve me all over, didn’t you?” He grabs a blanket from behind the bar and ties it around his waist.

The guardsman sighs. “Be that as it may, he did use magic. Which means…”

The mayor nods. “Yes. Take him to Shriekwind. We don’t have the facilities in town.”

The guardsman turns back to you. “Come with me. For your protection - and everyone else’s - I’m going to have to take you in.” He leads you outside to a waiting carriage. It’s basic and probably not very comfortable, but at least it’s better than walking all the way to Shriekwind Bastion.

Spoiler: The Players (click to show/hide)

Lyu Brak (Harry Baldman)
Profession: Priest
Status: Displaying a silver tongue
Inventory:
Staff (Bronze-Capped)
Religious Necklace
Warm Priestly Robes and Pants
Warm Priestly Shoes
180 gold
Wounds/Status: You're perfectly healthy!
Abilities: [Boundlessly Cheerful] [The Good Priest] [Not that faithful] [Righteous Litany]

Baldur Bergfalk (USEC_OFFICER)
Profession: Mercenary
Status: Being rude.
b]Inventory:
Broken greatsword
Worn leather jerkin (and normal clothes)
Worn leather boots
Bear fur cloak
300 gold
Wounds/Status: [Broken rib]
Abilities: [Skilled Bargainer] [Guileless] [I'm Not Right Handed]

Lao Thuun (BFEL)
Profession: Warrior Mage
Status: Somehow not being arrested. Yet.
Inventory:
Blunted bronze sword
Leather armour and boots
Acolyte's Suncloak
210 gold
Wounds/Status: [Heavily Torn Muscles] [Swollen Jaw] [Exhaustion]
Abilities:
[Enduring] [Atoner] [Spellsword]
Spells:
[Life Spell: Wisp]
Magical Experience:
[Ea: 0] [Wi: 0] [Fi: 0] [Wa: 0] [Li: 2] [Fo: -1] [Lt: 0] [Sh: 0]


Felice Nasib (Pancaek)
Profession: Seaman
Status: Being rude.
Inventory:
Cracked Shortbow
Seven Arrows
Really Blunt Dirk
Nautical Longcoat and Boots
370 gold
Wounds/Status: [Tender left arm]
Abilities:
[Fearless] [Not a Landlubber] [Trick Shot]

Ekoka (GreatWyrmGold)
Profession: Wanderer
Status: Somehow acting like a crazy man.
Inventory:
Cracked shillelagh
Wanderer's Cloak
Sturdy Clothes and Boots
Length of Rope
Flint and Tinder
380 gold
Wounds/Status: [Headache]
Abilities:
[Survivalist] [Dual Focus] [Maladjusted to heat] [Guiding Spirit]
Spells:
[Wind Spell: Alacrity]
Magical Experience:
[Ea: 0] [Wi: 1] [Fi: 0] [Wa: 0] [Li: 0] [Fo: 0] [Lt: 0] [Sh: 0]

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

You HAD to slip an innuendo I there, didn't you? Still, they were some amazing rolls there for speech and reaction rolls.

[BFEL]

((True, was quite the turn of events. Also I take it that magic isn't exactly getting a good rap nowadays? Kinda expected that a healer like myself would be reasonably tolerated, but hey, such is the state of the world.))

Lao Thuun blushes when the Mayors clothing falls away, and then joins the nice officers who are thankfully not beating him with sticks.
He reasons to thank Lyu later for his excellent diplomatic skills.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Go along with the guards. Still kinda have broken ribs, after all.

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Oh gods we suck at the talkies.))

Go with the guards. Peacefully.

Convince the GM to roll for actions like this so we can laugh at 1's being rolled and people accidentally fighting the guards.

[Niccolo]

Convince the GM to roll for actions like this so we can laugh at 1's being rolled and people accidentally fighting the guards.

I'm hurt that you doubted me! xD Of course I'm going to roll. Oh man I hope Harry rolls a one.

Kinda expected that a healer like myself would be reasonably tolerated, but hey, such is the state of the world.))

...
Even in a normal world a 'healer' who turns his patients into raving psychos is not exactly tolerated. That's the origin story of, like, 80% of all comic-book bad guys.

He reasons to thank Lyu later for his excellent diplomatic skills.

You know you're inside and they're all outside, right? While you were healing yourself they all ditched you like an old shoe.

[BFEL]

Kinda expected that a healer like myself would be reasonably tolerated, but hey, such is the state of the world.))

...
Even in a normal world a 'healer' who turns his patients into raving psychos is not exactly tolerated. That's the origin story of, like, 80% of all comic-book bad guys.

He reasons to thank Lyu later for his excellent diplomatic skills.

You know you're inside and they're all outside, right? While you were healing yourself they all ditched you like an old shoe.

1. Comic book bad guys do it on purpose, I do it because lady luck thinks I slept around on her.
2. But then they stuck up for me later....kinda....ok the guy I hulked stuck up for me....THOSE GUYS ARE DICKS!

GIANT. THROBBING. MAYOR DICKS.