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Option 1
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Option 4
- 10 (30.3%)

Total Members Voted: 16


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Author Topic: The Derail Games: A game of Awesome Chess.  (Read 168227 times)

mastahcheese

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  • Now with 20% less sanity and trans fat!
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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1500 on: June 20, 2014, 04:08:49 pm »

Man, I wish I could run some more insane games with you guys.
Logged
Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

flabort

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  • Still a demilich, despite the 4e and 5e nerfs
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Re: The Derail Games: Quick! I need 3 CCs of rat poison, a syringe, and...
« Reply #1501 on: June 20, 2014, 04:41:30 pm »

GET THE STUFF I NEED FOR THE INTERNET
You go to a local store.
[6] On the way, someone shoves a package into your arms and runs off. Hey! It's a MedioTech brand super deluxe model router!
At the store you pick up a cable for $7, and then go home.

BUY THE EXPENSIVE ROUTER AND THE SECOND LONGEST CABLE! GO BACK HOME, INSTALL IT AND THEN WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK UNTIL I GET PAID!
You buy the MedioTech brand router. Not the super deluxe model, of course, that would have cost over $2,000. You pick up the second longest cable, [3] and the sales guy recommends you get another. You take the short one too. It costs $110 overall.
[4]The trip home is uneventful, and you install the router. You have a faster internet now!

join game as a virus programmer.
[5] You join the game as a very successful virus programmer. You were just at the bank, installing a virus that drains funds into your account. You know, since you don't have internet at home.

COMBINE ITEMS INTO GIANT ROBOT
[4] You combine the items into a facsimile of a giant robot. Somehow. It looks like a giant robot, but it doesn't move. It's missing something. Maybe a core program or a soul or something.

Buy a router
You go to the store. [3] There are two models you can afford. One is stupidly cheap, and the other is a not-as-cheap wireless router. And there are cables.

NO. UNACCEPTABLE. EAT MORE USBS. BECOME CYBORG.
[6] You eat every USB device, even your laptop, that you can get your metallic claws on. Oh, you guess it's working. You have a desire to kill your neighbors. A burning, maddening desire. You think one of them was plotting to sell out your services.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Logged
The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

darkpaladin109

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1502 on: June 20, 2014, 04:45:24 pm »

Visit one of my neighbors. While they are busy greeting me, tear their heart striaght out of their chest and run back home to put it in my robot.
Logged

4maskwolf

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  • 4mask always angle, do figure theirs!
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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1503 on: June 20, 2014, 05:59:32 pm »

go to a local Internet cafe, install viruses into the main search engines. Nothing major, just a tracking program, nothing that is likely to be spotted.

Scotsmen

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1504 on: June 20, 2014, 11:17:03 pm »

Oh hi guys I'm back!

JOIN GAME AS A SEXY DALEK.
Logged
As he waits to be unrestrained and taken backstage, he can't help but think I miss my fun bits.

Elephant Parade

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1505 on: June 21, 2014, 02:26:44 pm »

Hack the router. Reprogram it to deliver webpages upside down, sideways, and without any formatting.
Logged

highmax28

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  • I think this is what they call a tantrum spiral...
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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1506 on: June 21, 2014, 02:32:02 pm »

WORK OFF THAT PHONE BILL!
Logged
just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

"Guardian" and Sigfriend Of Necrothreat
Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.

fractalman

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1507 on: June 21, 2014, 02:33:57 pm »

(attempt to) steal something from another player
Logged
This is a masterwork ledger.  It contains 3719356 pages on the topic of the precise number and location of stones in Spindlybrooks.  In the text, the dwarves are hauling.
"And here is where we get the undead unicorns. Stop looking at me that way, you should have seen the zombie deer running around last week!"

poketwo

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1508 on: June 21, 2014, 03:02:18 pm »

SET UP DEFENSES FOR THE INEVITABLE POLICE RAID
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flabort

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  • Still a demilich, despite the 4e and 5e nerfs
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Re: The Derail Games: Quick! I need 3 CCs of rat poison, a syringe, and...
« Reply #1509 on: June 21, 2014, 04:34:52 pm »

Visit one of my neighbors. While they are busy greeting me, tear their heart striaght out of their chest and run back home to put it in my robot.
[d7:3] You visit Elephant Parade. [6] You tear his heart out, but he still stands. Alarmed when he starts chasing you, you run home and lose him along the way.
[3] The robot accepts the heart, and starts to move. It doesn't move very well, though, and still seems like a soulless automoton. (Like Blunt from Freefall, only not as smart and without purpose; slow, halting, clunky)

go to a local Internet cafe, install viruses into the main search engines. Nothing major, just a tracking program, nothing that is likely to be spotted.
[4] You hack google. And Ask.com, and Fetch. And Yahoo and Amazon. You drop a tracking virus into each. It tracks nothing useful, but it's not spotted.

Oh hi guys I'm back!

JOIN GAME AS A SEXY DALEK.
[1] Ouch. You join the game as a Dr. Who Cosplayer, who blew all their money on a Dalek Costume, that looks so awful you scared away the internet guys, so even if you got a router you'd not have internet.

Hack the router. Reprogram it to deliver webpages upside down, sideways, and without any formatting.
[6] You hack HighMax's and Poketwo's routers. The deliver webpages that have been randomized, and overlayed with a live feed from DarkPaladin's robot.

WORK OFF THAT PHONE BILL!
[5] You work several hours, locating and flagging viruses on the internet. Your boss supplies you with a program for deleting the viruses you've flagged, and you delete them. Every hour you spend deleting 5 or more viruses you get paid immediately. You spend around 4 doing this before the turn ends.

(attempt to) steal something from another player

You try to steal [d7:7] Scotsman's [4] Money. [5] He left his wallet on the counter of his apartment, and the door open. And he was having a loud shower, so he didn't hear you. You get $5, and his ID.

SET UP DEFENSES FOR THE INEVITABLE POLICE RAID
[1] It's too late! Police are already storming the apartment complex! They don't question you, though. They seem to be after someone building a Giant Robot.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Logged
The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

Elephant Parade

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1510 on: June 21, 2014, 04:55:17 pm »

Kill inferior robot using eye lasers.
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poketwo

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1511 on: June 21, 2014, 05:40:27 pm »

USING METKNOWLAGE, DESTROY ELEPHANT PARADE'S HACK ON MY ROUTER
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4maskwolf

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1512 on: June 21, 2014, 05:52:48 pm »

Secure my computer from hacking, then pack up and go home to get a nice dinner and a good night's sleep.

Scotsmen

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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1513 on: June 21, 2014, 07:43:09 pm »

Figure out who stole my wallet. Then kill EXTERMINATE him. And take his wallet. And mine too.
Logged
As he waits to be unrestrained and taken backstage, he can't help but think I miss my fun bits.

highmax28

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  • I think this is what they call a tantrum spiral...
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Re: The Derail Games: Where da wifi at?
« Reply #1514 on: June 21, 2014, 07:45:02 pm »

Halfway there! WORK MORE! GET PAID!
Logged
just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

"Guardian" and Sigfriend Of Necrothreat
Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.
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