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[Kagus]

"Birds of a feather do stupid shit together", or something like that...  Unhappy with his failing career as a vampire hunter, Simmura (recently revived from yet another ill-fated venture) decided that it was time to get some other people to die along with him.  Because, hey, misery loves company.

Miraculously organizing into a team, all 5 of the kingdom's rangers ventured out to attack a newly uncovered colony of vampires.  ...or, rather, they wandered around for a bit and got attacked by some vamps.  This time, much to Simmura's glee, they were victorious!  Well, except for the two guys who died, but that's acceptable...  Unfortunately, the rest of the band didn't take this as a particularly strong argument for this path of employment, and the gang dissolved after their own successful venture (seriously, all 5 rangers decided at roughly the same time to go explore the same spot on the map...  It was pretty funny, sad I didn't get a snap of it).

Meanwhile, Sonlirain has been busy capitalizing on his own undead-hunting attempts, and seems to be doing slightly better for himself.  We're still not entirely sure whether or not he's aware of just how much cash he's making by doing this job, as he seems to mostly just be doing it for the fun of it...  At least, that's what the kingdom's sages theorize.  After all, he's neither spent nor saved any of the fortune he's amassed, so we can only assume he doesn't even know what it's supposed to be used for.

Is there a Haspen still alive there? v:

Indeed there is!  Sir Haspen Sharpedge is alive, well, and currently the lowest-leveled of the three knights in our realm.  Mostly, this is due to his overly discretionary nature.


Also, Delta just died again.  Apparently, he's just as bright as ol' Simmura over there.

[Kagus]

...and, immediately after being revived, got himself right into the exact same kind of situation and was getting himself killed again before I told him to run away and drool another day.

This isn't entirely a mystery, however, since the entire northern reaches of the map are currently swarming with shadowbeasts.  Ferocious fighters on their own, where there's one there are about four more hiding nearby.


I am hereby declaring the northern reaches as off-limits to stupid, weak and underleveled champions.  Anyone dying in this restricted area will be subject to the maximum penalty of the law, which by current legislation amounts to some taunting and use of strong language.


Beyond that, the map is almost entirely clean, green, peaceful, and boring.  Resources are being used to fund such projects as "Find the source of the shadow beasts", "Find something to smack the shadow beasts with", and "The many and varied uses of bear cheese".

[Kagus]

Dear Krevsin, Delta, Simmura:

Fuck all of you, you are all idiots.  Do you see this?:


This is death.  It will kill you.  This is something that large groups of high-level characters would take losses while dealing with.  You, on the other hand, are all just puny little rangers who have a weird fetish for wandering off alone and then getting high on the wrong type of shrooms while out in the forest.  This isn't bravery, this isn't tactical, this isn't even within the boundaries of "a dumb mistake".  This is just a goddamn suicide-boner.  Leave it alone and do not touch.

Sincerely,
His Majesty the Royally Pissed Off King


P.S.
And then Majesty crashed from the sheer weight of everyone losing interest in living.  This is why we cherish the autosave feature provided to us.

[Neonivek]

And yet you will be begging Rangers to explore.

[Mephansteras]

I'm now imaging some stoned rangers going "Hey...what if I whittle them down. Like...shoot a few arrows at them and then come back later to shoot more. Deaths a bummer, but, you can't let it keep you down, man!"

[Oneir]

Oneir was sent by upper management in order to serve as quality assurance, and upon arrival was promptly assured of the quality of the ratman she'd landed on top of.  She was briefly mourned, but her resurrection put a damper on the funerary planning.  Such a downer.

Glad to hear I'm being a productive member of society. :0 Those ratmen aren't going to reassure themselves.

[Vgray]

So what's my hero doing?

[thunderclan]

How is Zieg doing equipment and level wise?

[Sonlirain]

Hey you can't say i'm not doing anything with that money.
Who bought those leathery things people and a shinier whacking stick?
Potions? Bah those are for elves!
Anyone seen my chicken?

[Neonivek]

Hey you can't say i'm not doing anything with that money.
Who bought those leathery things people and a shinier whacking stick?
Potions? Bah those are for elves!
Anyone seen my chicken?

Goodness... it would be quite the challenge to do a tough map without potions.

[CognitiveDissonance]

You guys keep doing what you'll be doing. I'll just be here. No, don't look my way. I have business to attend to, you know. Important business. VERY important business. I hear my name called from across the land, I must answer the call of loot glory!

[Delta Foxtrot]

I have noticed that rangers tend to die up towards mid-late game, but that might just be me.

Clearly you should have built two temples of Krolm and obliterated the map.

[Darkening Kaos]

Signing on as a Priestess of ........ Carpets.

Just putting it back out there, thanx.

And suggesting that next time we start with the Unified Church as part of our set-up. in which case, I will still opt for a Priestess - (it will glue up your processor, tho).

[Kagus]

Signing on as a Priestess of ........ Carpets.

Just putting it back out there, thanx.

And suggesting that next time we start with the Unified Church as part of our set-up. in which case, I will still opt for a Priestess - (it will glue up your processor, tho).

You're already a priestess/carpet manager.  You're apparently one of the smart ones, too, since you haven't been getting yourself frequently killed.

How is Zieg doing equipment and level wise?

Last I checked, you were level 9 with gold +1 sword and copper +1 armor, but I'm pretty sure you got another level off of those werewolves I made you fight.

So what's my hero doing?

Staying alive.  Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive.  Matter of fact, I'm not sure you've died at all during this round.  Your heroic deeds, however, are similarly limited.  Basically you're still just riding off of the loot the three of you knightly types stocked up on when you went on that crazy graveyard-murderin' hunter-releasin' rampage.

[Darvi]

I am kinda glad that I'm so uninteresting. Interestingness seems to be proportional to the amount of deaths one has.