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[Kagus]

Nope, I'm playing the Northern Expansion expansion pack, which removed the minimum level requirement for renaming heroes.

That, and adding in a bunch of cool new stuff, like how gnomes actually do turn into heroes if they survive long enough to reach a high enough level.

[USEC_OFFICER]

*furrows brow*

Huh. I have the Northern Expansion, but I don't remember it allowing you to rename heroes before level 10. *shrug* No big deal, I guess.

[Kagus]

Guess you'll just have to dust it off and start playing it again!

In a truly heroic feat of bravery, Sir Haspen Ironclad somehow managed to singlehandedly* fight off the goblin siege, bravely charging through their ranks to slaughter the foul goblin priest leading the attack!
^*Along with the entirety of the city watch and the many, many arrows from two guard towers

At first I thought this meant I'd be able to save the one guard tower I'd started with, which had managed to get by with just a sliver of health remaining...  But, no, it was not to be.



Earthquake!

Luckily, this bothered Sir Ironclad and the peasants not at all, merely breaking off gigantic f*ing chunks of masonry from the surrounding buildings that the peasants, again, will have to put back together again.

Reveling in the thrill of the moment, the good knight Haspen sallied forth to confront another oversized arachnid that, for whatever reason, had come running after him.



...aaaand then he saw that it was, indeed, a giant spider.  So after defeating numerous goblins and having taken on one of these beasts by himself a couple levels back and with worse equipment, he decided it was still within his best interests to run away like a sissy and hide under the covers.


Chalk up another one for the town watch (clearly the true heroes in this tale)...



Suddenly, goblins.  Again.


Although we currently have no living gnomes, they're still actually providing quite a useful service to our kingdom.  As they will always ensure that there are three hovels available, all the attacking forces have for the most part been caught up with just attacking the freely respawning hovels rather than focusing on our more valuable targets.  Yay gnomes!

[Neonivek]

Honestly the only reason you want Dwarves, because Gnomes are much better especially with Northern expansion giving you a special bonus, is for the Balistae towers... which are a MUCH cheaper alternative to upgraded Guard towers.

[Kagus]

Even more goblins...

And then, just to make matters even better, this happens:


That's a broken sewer main.  That happens when a large number of citizens (peasants, guardsmen, tax collectors...  Basically anyone who isn't a hero) are brutally slaughtered.  What that is, basically, is a monster lair that spawns right next to our settlement.  It produces a lot of advanced enemies including siege weapons, some very nasty spellcasters, and the heavily-armored ratman champions (one such charming specimen is pictured above).

These fellows are individually far more powerful than the goblins we've been facing so far.  And, if that thing sits there for long enough, it'll produce a lot of them.  Our fair knight is going to be just a teensy bit overwhelmed if this keeps up, methinks...

Honestly the only reason you want Dwarves, because Gnomes are much better especially with Northern expansion giving you a special bonus, is for the Balistae towers... which are a MUCH cheaper alternative to upgraded Guard towers.

Ayup.  They start off more expensive than the standard guard tower, but unlike most other buildings they don't increase in price the more of them that are built.  Plus their projectiles are more damaging, I believe.  Still, as mentioned, probably the best passive defense you can get.

[Neonivek]

A fully upgraded guard tower is very slightly better then the tower, but that is because not only does it have a vet guard but also certain units synergize with towers.

In fact why isn't that tower fully upgraded?

[Kagus]

What?  It is.  The blue guards are veteran guards.  Level 1 guard towers are castellated open-top, while level 2 towers have that thatch roof kinda thing going on.

[Kagus]

I took the liberty of reincarnating Japa, so that I could at least have a gnome around to help out with the repairing and rebuilding and such.

Sir Haspen bravely defended the realm again by singlehandedly (really this time) fighting off a ratman champion and his shaman (luckily, without getting plagued.  More on that when it happens), before moving on to take care of YET MORE GOBLINS.


Upon entering into the world; Japa, rather than make himself useful and build the new guard tower I'm trying to set up in the path of most of the evilness, decided that he would be the one to destroy the broken sewer main (I'm still not entirely sure how that works...  If it's broken, you have to destroy it in order to fix it again.  Or something)...  He got to punch the surrounding rocks two times before the next party of goblins showed up and made him nearly soil his trousers.  He's currently sitting at home without having so much as looked at the tower construction site.


Haspen, meanwhile, has been doing remarkably well for himself, climbing through experience levels quite readily.  Warriors are very hardy early on, and don't often take into account just how survivable those healing potions make them.  As such, they will often run from a lot of encounters they could take on quite well.  This is why berserking is at times quite nice, because it means the hero won't think to flee except under specific circumstances (they get very low on health and are out of healing potions).  This lets them take on early enemies that they're more than capable of thwacking righteously, and earn important gold and experience.

Also, since Haspen's the only one fighting at the moment, he's getting all the opportunities for advancement.


...well, except for the peasants and guardsmen.  But nobody cares about common filth like them, right?  They don't even get experience levels!  Pah, uncultured swine...

That picture was taken during our second earthquake, by the by.  The good news is that it softened up the sewer main.  Bad news is that it damn near took out the newly-constructed guard tower (that Japa II had absolutely nothing to do with...)

[Teneb]

Ah, Majesty. Name a warrior after me, please, so I may live the glorious life of a meatshield.

[Kagus]

Well, Japa's second coming is doing quite well for himself.  After sharing in the experience and gold bounty for taking out the sewer main alongside Sir Ironclad, he bought himself a shiny new weapon and had 4 shiny levels and 9 shiny healthpoints, looking ready to make a foothold for himself and launch into fame and success!  Indeed, his new iteration has slightly more intelligence than his last, and-

Died: Japa (gnome)

DAMNIT


He was repairing a guard tower when, suddenly, a nearby ratman farted in his vicinity.  Japa exploded into dust from the force of the expulsion.  Japa the Third shall inherit his dirt fortune.

Meanwhile, the mighty warrior Deathsword finally made it through customs and settled in at the warrior's guild!  Unfortunately, it would appear he picked a slightly poor time to immigrate.


Pictured: Deathsword and Sir Haspen, versus a goblin raiding party (sporting the moderately more skilled goblin champions), a wandering werewolf, and a random troll encounter.

Trolls automatically spawn from time to time.  They're basically big, dumb covert operatives who have an annoying habit of spewing into being way deep inside your settlement, right next to some important economic structure.  Wizards and other spellcasters make these things melt as a party trick (provided they're much too far away to use their titanic clubs), but more conventional warriors have to deal with a large health pool and innate regeneration.  They're not very skilled fighters, but they're very strong ones.

[EuchreJack]

EuchreJack the Rogue volunteers for service!

[Karkov]

Oh man, the nostalgia that's brought on by the main theme of this game. Aaaahhh, refreshing.  Anywho, instead of taking a hero, I'd be delighted to have the blacksmith renamed "Karkov's Metal Trinkets," if you can still rename buildings anyway.

[Kagus]

Deathsword and Sir Haspen Ironclad managed to fend off the attacking forces, including yet another massive spider from one of the unused broom closets in the warrior's guild.  It was only then, once the dust settled, that the kingdom finally knew peace and prosperity, and persevered for years to come...

...just kidding, this is Bay12.

What actually happened was that our fourth earthquake (in a row, even) caused Japa's house to implode, forcing him to relocate to one of the other unoccupied hovels, this time on the dangerous side of the palace that keeps getting attacked ALL THE TIME.

Speaking of which...


GODDAMN GOBLINS.

You can see Japa's place through the smoke there, right around where the ignored part of this latest horde is munching its way around.  I suspect another gruesome death to take place.

However, that's okay!  Because I just now set aside the funds necessary to build this little wonder!


This, ladies and gents, is the mausoleum.  It automatically stores all heroes who die after it is constructed, allowing them to be resurrected for a fee later on.  The downside is that it results in a zombie apocalypse if it gets destroyed, but I'm sure that won't happen.

I will now attempt, to the best of my abilities, to keep your specific heroes alive in their specific incarnations rather than just hiring a new one and renaming them.  I'd forgotten that you could build the mausoleum straight off the bat.

EuchreJack the Rogue volunteers for service!

And his services will be greatly appreciated, I am sure!

Oh man, the nostalgia that's brought on by the main theme of this game. Aaaahhh, refreshing.  Anywho, instead of taking a hero, I'd be delighted to have the blacksmith renamed "Karkov's Metal Trinkets," if you can still rename buildings anyway.

Certainly, it'd be a pleasure.  The blacksmith is actually, interestingly enough, the one building that has taken the least amount of damage over the course of this whole thing.  I suspect you've been making shady deals with the goblin mafia.

[Karkov]

Certainly, it'd be a pleasure.  The blacksmith is actually, interestingly enough, the one building that has taken the least amount of damage over the course of this whole thing.  I suspect you've been making shady deals with the goblin mafia.

I'm on a first name basis with their cousins, but the main reason I've been unmolested so far is because I've been sprinkling the ground with shiny bits to attract gnomes to settle between them and the shop.  Gnomes show up, goblins attack gnomes, goblins get beaten back by knights and put nice gold coins in the knight's pockets.  In the meanwhile, I sell new weapons and armor to the knights and the gnomes, and profiteer off of the new heroes showing up when the old ones die off.  I play all the sides!  Except the rats, hate those things.

[Kagus]

Yup...  Saw that one coming.

Just in time to make use of the mausoleum!  Which he did help build, by the by...  And then a ratman duo sprung out of nowhere and started raiding the mausoleum, taking it down to ONE HIT AWAY FROM DOOM before getting distracted by Sir Haspen's unflagging heroism.  Japa was resurrected as a level 4 gnome for 2000 gold, roughly the cost of hiring 20 fresh, new gnomes.

Gak.

Meanwhile, guess what?  That's right, goblins.  Except now there's something even better!


This is plague.  What plague does, is it obliterates your stats, particularly strength, and makes you move agonizingly slow.  Also, it's the only effect in the game that spreads, which means that one person with plague will infect another person with plague, be that person a gnome, wizard, peasant, tax collector...  Yes, even the guards.  This can sometimes cause "plague loops", wherein one person will recover only to be re-infected by the person that they gave it to.  This stuff sucks, massively.

Luckily it doesn't seem to cause actual damage, and any healing effect will remove it.  However, unless you're fairly lucky, it'll still cause quite an upset to your kingdom's dynamics before you manage to get rid of it.  There are certain precautions that can be taken to help deal with plague, but we don't have access to them yet.  Hell, we might get access to them at all.  More on that later.  Basically the only thing to do is kill off any ratmen (particularly shamans) before they get around to pissing plague all over your citizens.


Also, I'm afraid I couldn't fit the whole name in for the blacksmith, so it's currently just "Karkov's Trinkets".  The name field can only accept a maximum of 20 characters.