Campaign, Ike!
"I think that last kind soldier needs a pillow, Alan. Or maybe a waterbed. He seems downright uncomfortable," Ike mentions.
Mention brilliant idea to Alan, then go and collect Nikolai and drag him back to relative safety.
You run up to Nikolai's corpse while Alan is distracting the soldier.
Nikolai's corpse glows faintly with a purple-green inner light and then disappears, getting replaced by a Soulsphere inside a battered and bloody suit of tin armor. Guess that will make carrying him easier, since you don't have to carry his inventory if you don't want to.
Also, the abomination is apparently very much alive under that giant can. You can't see it, but you can hear the crunching sound of breaking bones continue and the can wobbles slightly in sync with them.
Alan - Good Cop?
Is Alan's curse broken? Has he somehow become the only competent/lucky person in the team? Or is this simply one of luck's elaborate plots to put Alan in a position where he can cause maximum damage (if he hasn't done so already)? Could this all be just a giant 6, whose sideffects we have yet to see? Find out in the next exciting episode of DBZ.
((Another quote for my sig hoard.))
"These were the fellas trying to inconvenience you, Ike? Well, I could fire a mattress at him, but if you want me to kill him it'd have to be something heavier than that. You guys tried talking to them?"
Approach the one soldier to a reasonable distance, one where I can talk comfortably to him but he can't get to me and stab me without giving me plenty of time to react with a dishwasher.
"Sup, dude! Want some red bull?"
"Burn to ash, you bastard!" the soldier screams as he charges at you.
You throw a toy dishwasher at the soldier. Said dishwasher is still the size of a cupboard, so it's not insignificant.
It clips the soldier but bounces off his armor. It doesn't cause any significant damage beyond throwing him to the ground.
"Now, now. Let's try this again. Ahem. 'SUP. DUDE. DO-'""Diiiiiieeeee!" the soldier interrupts you with his scream as he gets up and charges at you again.
You shoot him with a normal washing machine this time. It hits him and pins him to the ground. And even though he looks like he's in pain, he doesn't look seriously hurt. Doesn't look like he's giving up anytime soon.
"Damn you sorcerer!"
That guy is really persistent. He's already started getting himself free. He's also quite bad at dying. Maybe you could give him some pointers? Or maybe a demonstration?