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[squidgen]

SPAM THE EVERYTHING

[hops]

Convince Ancient Hero to rescue me, the queen, from this horrible dungeon.

4: You convince the Ancient Hero to rescue you, and by that he just battle with himself and then released you from his own dungeon.

swap bodies with the hero, then storm the shop again!
Edit: you got me mixed up with pufferfish now.

2: The Ancient Hero is confused when you suggested swapping bodies.

Determine if this is single-character or multiplayer.

5: You look past the Fourth wall and determines that this is singleplayer.

Put on best damsel in distress display.

1: You pretend to be a damsel in distress. The Ancient Hero is offended by your poor performance and put you back in jail for public misdemeanor.

USE RUPEES TO PURCHASE BOMBS

3: You ordered some bombs. The Ancient Hero sarcastically thanks you and confiscates them.

BREAK DANCE

6: You break dance so hard that you break the concept of dancing.
The Ancient Hero takes you to court for crime against ... something. He can't remember because dance doesn't exist now.

BE NINJA LORD.

5: You become ヽ( °ロ°)ﾉ SPAMBOTOKO THE POWERFUL KITCHEN SPAMBOT GOD QUEEN DRAGONESS NINJA LORD. ヽ( ﾟロ°)ﾉ and sneaks away from the Ancient Hero while he's not looking.

SPAM THE EVERYTHING

3: You spam everything, but it turns out the everything has spam filter.

[Lenglon]

Adopt the hero as our daughter.

[WoobMonkey]

Summon Giant Cave Spider.  Throw webs at the EVERYTHING.

[Gentlefish]

Okay, time to rebel as my status of princess. Long Live the Queen!!

[Elephant Parade]

Use spam shuriken to kill ancient hero.

[mastahcheese]

Break Anti-dance the Hero in the face!

[hops]

Adopt the hero as our daughter.

2: The Ancient Hero refuses, citing the fact that he's way older than you. You know. Ancient.

Summon Giant Cave Spider.  Throw webs at the EVERYTHING.

1: You summon a carp instead. It is trying to kill you.

Okay, time to rebel as my status of princess. Long Live the Queen!!

1: You attempt to rebel, but got dragged into the river by a carp.

Use spam shuriken to kill ancient hero.

6: You somehow manage to throw spam shurikens into the air while getting dragged off by the carp and viciously murder the Ancient Hero. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Break Anti-dance the Hero in the face!

1: Carp.

[NAV]

Breathe.

[Elephant Parade]

Absorb necromantic power released by the thread's return. Become lich.

[WoobMonkey]

Summon Giant Cave Spider.  Throw webs at the EVERYTHING.

1: You summon a carp instead. It is trying to kill you.

Filet the carp.  Necro thread.  Deep fry all the things.

[Gentlefish]

Consume.

[hops]

Breathe.

2: Before you can draw in a breath, you are submerged in water. You don't feel like it is a good idea to breath right now.

Absorb necromantic power released by the thread's return. Become lich.

1: You fail to absorb the necromantic power and takes in the life force of the dead thread, making you half dead. You are now a Hcil.

Summon Giant Cave Spider.  Throw webs at the EVERYTHING.

1: You summon a carp instead. It is trying to kill you.

Filet the carp.  Necro thread.  Deep fry all the things.

1: The carp bites your fingers off before you can hurt it.

Consume.

2: Aaaand you're still underwater.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Quaff potions.

[hops]

Quaff potions.

5: You quaff the water.
You gain underwater breathing!