The following record is written in a neat hand which has been altered in several places with a dark and ugly-looking scrawl, but the original text under each alteration is still legible.Mirehole, 1st Granite, 305Personal Journal of ImagoDeo, Reluctant OverseerDamn, but this place is a mess.
Our previous
idiot in charge overseer, peregarrett, whose name is almost impossible to spell correctly the first time, especially with three shots of gutter cruor bubbling happily through my veins, stepped down last night. I say she stepped down but perhaps it would be more accurate to say she was declared criminally insane after a thorough inspection by Melbil Locktorch, who concluded - based on a very complex psychoanalysis that involved glancing once or twice at the "magma cannon" peregarrett made - that she was unfit for command. I quickly agreed - a bit too quickly, it seems, because that left me the only one standing. Someone stared at me and asked what we do now, and I realized what that bastard peregarrett had dumped on me.
I ran shrieking from the room and cried into my pillow for a half an hour, then drank an entire bottle of gutter cruor while my wife tried to comfort me. I immediately took charge and ordered peregarrett ousted. She went without a fight and I got down to business after another very small shot of gutter cruor to shore up my iron-firm resolve.Evaluation of the PopulationMy preliminary glance into the records kept by peregarrett have yielded
three two findings.
She was a $#%@ing idiot.
- We have a lot of dwarves hanging around with completely and utterly useless skills like pottery and beekeeping.
- We have no organized military of any kind whatsoever - just a few dwarves running around calling themselves militia captains and one beard who calls himself a badass.
I've re-assigned everyone to various
logical jobs and designated every
horribly useless bottom-feeder skill-less dwarf to be an item hauler. Those who had reasonable skills - e.g. Astesh Auburnseals, a fantastic miner - have retained their previous designations. There were a few
useless idiots valuable individuals who refused to have their designations or job descriptions altered, so I have left them each to their own devices. Notably:
- Rhyme, who has been doing a fine job of mining lately.
- peregarett, now calling herself Dr. Wrench,
who - for some insane reason - wanted to continue screwing around with our limited supples of cloth in a futile effort to make something that looks vaguely wearable instead of doing her job of making the Armok-damned mechanisms work. who has been working hard at her mechanic duties while dabbling with tailoring.
- Shadowhammer, one of those
idiots calling themselves militia captains Armok-blessed warriors with legendary metalsmithing skills who defends our fortress day and night.
- Zlob, who is -
surprisingly - engaged in a set of tasks all having to do with the same thing: stone.
- Wolf, a previous overseer who intends to keep growing plants and brewing them which is just fine by me.
- Blenheim, a good axedwarf
and the only halfway competent warrior in this whole #$%@ing place.
- Gnorm, whose skills at planting and harvesting are, annoyingly, being utilized to their fullest extent.
- ColdBones, who insists on doing spinning and pottery, neither of which we have the tools to do.
What a $&#%ing idiot. One day I'm sure he'll be useful, though.
- Batdorf, who's actually not so bad at punching stuff.
I should know! The @#$!*$ smacked me one in the noggin when I suggested he haul some stone across the fortress. I'll get him back for that.
- Karma, our 'official badass.' Besides being in the military, he's taken the
elvishly-stupid eminently intelligent route of brewing, leatherworking, and metalsmithing. We'll see if he ever has time for that #%$^@$ @$^@# those particular valuable tasks while on patrol...
- WoobMonkey, our soapmaker. I... don't really mind that, to be honest.
That's enough of
idiots and their Armok-damned skills my fellow dwarves. I'm going to get another shot, and by the time I'm done this fortress' layout had better make sense.
To Be Continued.
Author
Topic: Mirehole, the Great Succession Fortress in the Swamp (Read 24817 times)