NIGHTCYCLE 1.A
[5] IT IS A FULL MOON. IT IS A VERY BIG MOON, ALSO BRIGHT. HELL, IT'S BIGGER THAN USUAL. WONDER WHY'S THAT?
VISION PENALTIES ARE SOMEWHAT REDUCED.
Mortars are on their way to the western quarter.
Set up landmines in the northern quarter.
[2v4-1] YOU FAIL TO SNEAK THE MORTARS TO THE NAZI-CONTROLLED QUARTER. [4] THE NORTHERN QUARTER IS CLOSE TO BEING LIGHTLY FORTIFIED NOW!
Be the Space Soviet Empire IN the Far East in order to prevent dominance snout-stabbings.
Spread propaganda poster
-tactical picswipe-
[6] YOU ARE THE SPACE SOVIET EMPIRE! THE WHOLE SPACE SOVIET EMPIRE. IT IS YOU. NO, I MEAN IT LITERALLY. HOW ARE YOU AN EMPIRE AGAIN? [2] YOUR PROPAGANDA IS RATHER INEFFECTIVE, WHAT WITH THE COMMUNIST REVOLUTIONARY NICHE ALREADY BEING FILLED AND ALL.
YOU ALSO RECEIVE AN EMISSARY FROM THE
RED. THEY WANT AN UNION OR ALLIANCE OR SOMETHING, WORK IT OUT BETWEEN EACH OTHER I DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN
RESPAWN AS AN ART STUDENT DROPOUT. USE ELECTRIC NAZI BODIES TO CRAFT A MONUMENT FOR THE PALADINS WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES PROTECTING US. WEEP DRAMATICALLY WHILE DOING IT. MODERN ART'S ALL ABOUT EMOTION, YOU KNOW
[4] YOU FINALLY RESPAWN. FRESH AIR FEELS GOOD, BUT NOT AS GOOD AS THE INNER SMUGNESS YOU FEEL WHILE YOU CRAFT A STATUE OUT OF ELECTRIC NAZIS. THE AIR FILLS WITH THE SCENT OF VARIOUS COFFEE BLENDS OF WHICH YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF AS PEOPLE IN VARIOUS ARTISTICALLY INDECIPHERABLE CLOTHING EMERGE FROM THE TOWN'S UNDERSIDE. OF COURSE, YOU DO YOUR BEST TO WEEP IN THE PROCESS OF ACTUALLY CRAFTING IT.
Turn back into a dragon.
Locate a computer.
[3] YOU TURN INTO A DWARF WINCHESTER. [3] THE PALADIN CAMP DOES, IN FACT, CONTAIN A FEW COMPUTATIONAL MACHINES OF GOOD REPUTE. THEY SEEM TO BE OCCUPIED AT THE MOMENT.
"SO, IT HAS COME TO THIS."
Respawn and make combat drugs out of Netherbeast sweat, then start recruitment into Chem Dog Batallions. Send an emissary to our space comrades in the Far East, asking them if they are willing to join the RED. If they are not, attempt strategic alliance.
[2] CHARON YOU LITTLE SHIT [2] CHARON WHAT ARE YOU DOING [1] WHY DID YOU WAKE UP THIS GUY ARE YOU MASOCHISTS
I'LL GO PROD THEM SOVIETS THOUGH
JOIN CHARON. HE PROBABLY WON'T BE HAPPY WITH ANYONE. ASK FOR A NICE SCYTHE.
[5] YOU JOIN CHARON. AS I MADE SURE TO ESTABLISH NUMEROUS TIMES, HE IS MIGHTILY PISSED. YOU ESTABLISH THE
NEWTON JOHNSON HENLEY PEACOCK-CRANKSHAW OF THE DOODLEBERRY FIELDS APPROVED NIGHTTIME MURDER ADVENTURE FACTION. THE DISSONANCE BETWEEN THE SANITY OF PLAYER AND GM PICKED NAMES INTENSIFIES. [5] YOU ALSO GET A PRETTY COOL SCYTHE. IT'S GOT A BACK SCRATCHER INSTALLED. WOW.
CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF THIS SOUL-CRUSHING AND BLOODY WAR IN MY SECRET PALADINSHACK. USE HYPER-ADVANCED COMPUTER (HOW THE FUCK) TO ANALYZE WEAK POINTS IN THE RUBBER NAZI ENCAMPMENTS. SIP TEA.
[6] WELL, SHIT. HERE GOES.
YOU SEE NERD, THE SECOND WORLD WAR NEVER EXACTLY ENDED. STALEMATES ALL AROUND, HITLER WENT OFF AND DIED OF AN OVERDOSE IN THE LATE FORTIES AFTER HAVING CONQUERED THE MAINLAND OF THE UNITED KINGDOM WITH A SUPERWEAPON ORIGINATING FROM THE VARIOUS SHENANIGANS THE GREEKS HAVE DONE ON CYPRUS. THEY NEVER EXPECTED THE
SPANISH INQUISITION SURPRISE ADOPTION OF THEIR BELOVED ISLAND BY PARATROOPERS, HOWEVER. THE UK CONTINUED TO FIGHT ON FROM ITS HOLDINGS IN INDIA, SOMETIMES MANAGING TO LAND IN NORTHERN IRELAND AND GENERALLY WRECKING THE PLACE. IRELAND PROPER REMAINED NEUTRAL IN THIS TIMELINE, AND SEEMS TO BE GIVING ZERO FUCKS EVEN THOUGH THE AREAS NEAR ITS BORDERS WERE GETTING PROPERLY WRECKED. FUCK THAT TANGENT, THOUGH.
JAPAN FELL AS IT DID IN OUR WORLD, ALTHOUGH THE NUCLEAR WEAPON WAS NOT DEVELOPED UNTIL THE SIXTIES, WITH THE ISLAND TAKEN WITH RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF CASUALTIES. WHAT WAS DEVELOPED HOWEVER WAS THE SPIDERTANK. THE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERTANK. THEY CAME IN ALL SORTS OF SIZES, ONE SOMEWHAT SMALLER THAN A MAN IN WHICH THE DRIVER'S JOB WAS TO DIG UNDER THE ENEMY ENCAMPMENTS AND BLOW THEIR SHIT UP WHILE THEY SLEPT TO THE HULKING BEHEMOTH FOR WHICH AN INFANTRY DIVISION WAS CONSIDERED SKELETON CREW. HOW THEY DID IT? MAGIC. FUCK, NOBODY KNOWS. THREE HUNDRED YEARS OF TOTAL WAR DO THAT TO YOU I GUESS.
THEN WE HAD THIS NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT THE BLAZES HAPPENED AND YEAH THE WAR DIDN'T EXACTLY END AS THE CIVILIZATIONS WHO TOOK PART IN IT WERE FUCKING VAPORIZED. NEUTRON BOMBS MAYBE, SINCE THE RUINS ARE PROBABLY STILL THERE. SOME SAY THAT ALIENS DID IT. THEIR HAIRSTYLES ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN THEIR OPINIONS THOUGH.
SO WHAT WE HAVE NOW IS TO ALL THAT YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE WHO RAN UP TO THE RUINS, READ UP ON THE PROPAGANDA THAT'S BEEN PERFECTED FOR THREE CENTURIES STRAIGHT, STARTED BELIEVING IT'S TRUE AND CONQUERING THE WORLD IN THE NAME OF THE MUSTARD FACE. THAT'S WHAT GOOD OL' GRANDMASTER HAS TOLD YOU ANYWAY, YOU'D PROBABLY ASK HIM FOR SOME CLARIFICATION NOW BUT HE WAS IN THE STRONGHOLD WHEN IT WAS BEING BOMBED THE SHIT OUT OF. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ANTI-AIR HERE THIS IS SILLY, YOU CATCH YOURSELF THINKING. THEN YOU NOTICE YOU'RE ONE OF THE GUYS.
[4] YOU SWITCH ON A
SS-DPDTM TERMINAL AND [2]
FUCKING OLD ERA SCRIPT KIDDIES MAKING VIRUSES HOW DID THIS EVEN GET HERE ARGH [4] YOU SIP THE TEA VIOLENTLY.
MOVE HEADQUARTERS TO WESTERN QUARTER. FLY ELECTRIC NAZI FLAG. FRY PALADIN FLAG. SEE IF ANYONE IS UP FOR A GAME OF GO FISH.
[4] HEADQUARTERS MOVED! YOUR REGIONAL COMMAND IS NOW LOCATED AT THE FOREFRONT OF COMBAT. THIS CANNOT GO WRONG. THE ELECTRIC NAZI FLAG FLIES PROUDLY AS THE BURNING PALADIN FLAG ILLUMINATES IT. [3] YOU HAVE A FEW GAMES, BUT THEY'RE SOMEWHAT BORING.
Recruit the fallen bombers, those that are too crippled to be of use, repair them, the outdated, make them new, the new planes, to help and be a shining example, and I shall lead them, we shall get more and more bomers, use construction lpanes to turn this hell hole into A nice huge air feild, with natural oil to be used for ALL the planes, be they huge terrifying bombers of doom, or Little Passenger and transport ploanes to help out the weak, the wounded, and the crazy, begin,then, we ally with the cbombs, they our allys help all those who are against us, and then, we get ready, build up, and then, We Enter, into the Age of the bombers
TL;DR BUILD MOAR PLANES, MAKE HELLHOLE INTO OUR HELL HOLE,FIT WITH AIRPORT, GET READDDY, MAEK MORE BOMBS, ASCEND
[4] YOU GRAB THE OLD BOMBERS NOBODY'S USING, REFIT THEN AND PUT THEM TO USE. [6] YOU TURN THE BURNING WASTELAND INTO A GIANT AIRFIELD, ONE THAT EVEN THE OLD ERA MILITARIES WOULDN'T BE ASHAMED OF USING. [2] THE PLANES ARE TOO TIRED TO DO ANY WORK AFTER ALL THIS CONSTRUCTION, THOUGH.
Summon more nether beasts, prefect propaganda, recruit more people, reasureing them that the nether beasts will not kill them, and USE REAL SOVIET POWER TO KILL ALL GODS, THE RED LIGHNING WILL STRIKE THEM ALL, ALSO ABSORB A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF POWER.
[5] YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SUMMON THE NETHER BEASTS. THEY JUST WALK STRAIGHT THROUGH THE PORTAL ON THEIR OWN. [4] YOUR PROPAGANDA IS NOW MORE OR LESS EQUAL TO THE CURRENT ERA'S MARKETING METHODS. [3] "HEY GUYS THESE NETHERBEASTS ARE TOTALLY SAFE JUST LOOK AT HOW CUDDLY THEY ARE HOW COULD THEY EVER HURT YOU". IT SEEMS TO WORK, AND A FEW DOZEN PEOPLE JOIN YOU. [6+1+1]
[?] WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND BEARDS OF MARX AND SPIRITS OF ALL THE PROLETARIAT WHICH HAS BEEN CRUSHED UNDER THE HEELS OF CAPITALISM FOR ALL THE PAST ERAS FROM THE BEGINNING OF MAN. THE GODS ARE DECIMATED, AND PETATHAUMS ARE ROAMING FREELY ACROSS THE LANDSCAPE, FLOWING INTO MAN AND MACHINE ALIKE. [1] YOU CONSUME TOO MANY THAUMS, TOO GREEDILY. THE PURE POWER RIPS THE VERY FABRIC OF YOUR SOUL APART, AND YOU LAND ALONGSIDE AVIS-MERGULUS IN CHARON'S PARTY HOUSE. RESPAWN?
Slightly stealthily murder the nazis in the East.
[4v1-1] YOU PUT SLIGHT DENTS IN THE NAZI CAMP MOVING THROUGH THE POWERS OF STEALTH AND NINJANESS.
TRAIN THE BOMBS INTO ELITES. TEACH THEM HOW TO SURVIVE EXPLODING.
[5] ELITE COMMANDO BOMBS HO! THEY STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS, THEY EXPLODE AND LIVE TO TELL THE TALE.
This shit has gone far enough! recover Bolo, search depths of afterlife for Savrtia (dead gods have to go somewhere, right?) Apologize profusely for failure, beg forgiveness, ROLL OUT AND DESTROY EVERYTHING in the name of vengeance!!!!
[5] BOLO RECOVERED. [5] GODDESS ACQUIRED. PALADINS, ROLL OUT!
Call up my boys from Compton, see if they want to hang out in the town and kill Nazis for a few days.
[6] THE ENTIRETY OF COMPTON SPONTANEOUSLY APPEARS IN FRONT OF YOU. MUST BE THE MAGIC FUCKING WITH THINGS. IT DOESN'T GET TO BE A BIOME, THOUGH.
Worship the lighttree entity!
[4] YOU PROSTRATE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE LIGHTTREE, PRAISING ITS AMAZING LIGHT PRODUCING QUALITIES. YOU FEEL AT EASE WITH THE WORLD.
Spawn as Mammoth Knight.
Charge into battle against the Electric Nazis!
[2] YOU SLAM INTO THE MAIN GATE OF THE SOUTHERN QUARTER. THAT WENT WELL.
TCM: SUMMONING COMPTON
Harry Baldman: PRAISING THE SOURCE OF LIGHT
NullForceOmega: RESCUING THE PRINCESS GODDESS FROM THE UNDERGROUND CASTLE
Remuthra: [sips internally]
Objective: EDUCATING STORM AMMUNITION
Krath: ACHIEVING EXPOSITION
GreatWyrmGold: EXPLORING THE PALADIN CAMP
BeruangSarkis: BEING SLOWLY ENVELOPED BY UNDERGROUND FEDORA WEARERS
DarkArtemisFowl: MOVING WAR MATERIEL
Gamerlord: RESTING . . .
Elephant Parade: SLAMMING INTO WALLS
POTATO SOUP GOLEM
????
FACTION LEADER: wer6: INTENSIFYING BOMBERCRAFT
ASSORTED AIRCRAFT
FACTION LEADER: Dorsidwarf: REALIZING THE EMPTINESS OF THE EMPIRE
poketwo: DESCENDING INTO CHARON'S PARTY HOUSE
FACTION LEADER: Avis-Mergulus: CHARONDAMNIT, CHARON
aattss: THE REDDEST NINJA TO EVER RED REDS
~40 NETHERBEASTS IN ARMORED VEHICLES
~100 REGULAR NETHERBEASTS
~30 ASSORTED MEN
FACTION LEADER: CHARON
Grahamagara: ESTABLISHING FACTIONS OF RIDICULOUS NAMES
Errol: APPLYING TOTALLY GREAT COMMAND DECISIONS
UNTEROFFIZIER WILHELM POELZ
CYBORG TESLA +1
????
WESTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (DESTROYED)
MAIN TOWN: 93% ELECTRIC NAZI, 7% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: RUBBLE (PARTIALLY CLEARED)
ELECTRIC NAZI REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HIGH DENSITY)
NORTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (BREACHED)
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (LIGHTLY DAMAGED) (75% TO LIGHTLY FORTIFIED)
SPECIAL: LIGHTTREE LOCATION
EASTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 60% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 40% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (BREACHED)
MAIN TOWN: 60% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 40% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HEAVILY DAMAGED)
SOUTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HEAVILY FORTIFIED)
PALADIN HEADQUARTERS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HIGH DENSITY) (FORTIFIED)
STRONGHOLD:
0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED, 100% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMA CONTROL
TERRAIN: MILITARY COMPOUND
* LordSlowpoke cracks knuckles
* LordSlowpoke sits down to an unfinished turn file that's been sitting there for ten days
* LordSlowpoke turns on touhou jazz playlist
FUCK WHY ARE THESE UPDATES SO BIG
aand
your beloved master of games the game is back while this is enjoyable to produce it's sorta easy to be burned out so yeah
also can you see where exactly i've stopped since this turn was written in two parts
also x2 hello and welcome to metapoints
they can be used to purchase things in the
WAR ROOMhow do i access the
WAR ROOM why are you looking at me do i ever give you reliable hints
[6] THE LIGHTTREE CONSUMES THE DARKNESS AND BURSTS INTO THE SKY, FLASHING AS IT DOES SO, WITH ITS ROOTS SLOWLY DIGGING INTO THE SOIL. IT HAPPENS TO EXTINGUISH THE FIRES OF THE NORTHERN DISTRICT BY SIMPLY CONSUMING THE BURNING HOUSES AND INCORPORATING IT INTO ITS FORM. YOU COULD ARGUE THAT IT MAKES IT CLASSIER.
[3] SENSE ROLL: A BLINDING FLASH OF LIGHT COMES FROM THE NORTHERN PART OF TOWN! MUFFLED SCREAMS COME AS IF FROM THE SKY, BUT YOU CANNOT MAKE SENSE OF WHAT THIS COULD MEAN.
THE CLOCKS HAVE STRUCK MIDNIGHT. IT'S TIME FOR THE DAILY SCORE.
[1] THE GENERAL SOLEMNLY WALKS INTO THE SMALL OFFICE YOU HAVE BEEN AUTOMAGICALLY GATHERED IN. HE STANDS IN FRONT OF YOU, POINTS AT A BLACKBOARD WITH "WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN HERE" WRITTEN ON IT IN COLORFUL CHALK AND POOFS OUT OF EXISTENCE. SCOREBOARDS APPEAR IN YOUR HANDS OR EQUIVALENT AS YOU ARE RETURNED TO YOUR PREVIOUS POSITIONS.
PALADINS: 62/100 POWER, 31/100 TECHNIQUE, N/A SPEED. C-GRADE WORK, 193 POINTS ADDED TO METAPOOL.
ELECTRIC NAZIS: 90/100 POWER, 64/100 TECHNIQUE, 40/100 SPEED. A SOLID B. 194 POINTS ADDED TO METAPOOL.
BOMBERS: 94/100 POWER, 6/100 TECHNIQUE, 62/100 SPEED. YOUR CURRENT SUCCESS RELIES LITERALLY ON A SINGLE ROLL. B-, 162 POINT ADDED TO METAPOOL.
RED: 7/100 POWER, 95/100 TECHNIQUE, 43/100 SPEED. YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE OFF-SCREEN TIME TO PREPARE TO ACTUALLY INVADE ANYTHING, AND YOU HAVE ALREADY CAUSED A REND IN REALITY
AND CAUSED MULTIPLANAR HAVOC WHICH WILL ULTIMATELY DESTROY THE GAME AREA. YOUR INCESSANT FAILURES AT RECRUITING ANYTHING REALLY HURT YOUR SCORE, THOUGH. C+, 145 POINTS ADDED TO METAPOOL.
SPACOVIETS: TOO SOON TO EVALUATE. 177 POINTS ADDED TO METAPOOL, AN AVERAGE OF ALL OTHER SCORES.
NJHPCDFANMA: SEE SPACOVIETS.