FOURTH HOUR OF SIEGE
[6] THE BATTLE STANDARD OF THE SPECTACULAR FREEDOM RANGERS MOBILE RESERVE DIVISION HAS BEGUN TO BE SLIGHTLY NOTICEABLE IN THE DISTANCE IF YOU LOOK IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF WHERE THE OTHERWORLDLY INTENSITY OF VOLUME IS COMING FROM.
THANKS TO THEIR EFFORTS, THE ENTIRE BATTLEFIELD AND PROBABLY HALF THE COUNTRY BEYOND THAT CAN HEAR NOTHING OTHER THAN
THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC AND ASSORTED REVOLUTIONARY SONGS.
IN HINDSIGHT, HIRING MERCENARIES FROM THE 18TH CENTURY MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA. WHO MIGHT HAVE KNEW?
The Nazi's didn't want me? I WASN'T EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO BE KILLED!? THEN I WILL KILL MYSELF AND RESPAWN AS HANS LANDA FOR THE COMMUNISTS AND BECOME THE NAZI HUNTER!
[4] YOU JUMP OFF A CONVENIENTLY PLACED CLIFF AND DURING YOUR FALL YOUR MIND TURNS INWARD. TO THINGS LIKE HOW NICE YOUR LIFE AS A PALADIN WAS. SURE, A BIT DULL, BUT SAVRTIA DIDN'T EVER DEMAND MUCH OTHER THAN MAKING SURE THE PEASANTS AREN'T BEATEN TOO BADLY. YOU THINK OF YOUR FAMILY, OF YOUR FRIEND WILHELM, BUT BEFORE YOU CAN GO FURTHER TO PONDERING THE WONDERS OF THE PLUSH FROG YOU WERE GIVEN YOU SLAM AGAINST THE CONCRETE. BECAUSE CLIFFS END IN CONCRETE.
[1] AFTER RESPAWNING THE COMMUNISTS ASSUME YOU'RE A NAZI SPY SENT TO SPY ON THEIR STATE SECRETS AND ARE PROMPTLY SHOT. RESPAWN?
Take good care of the lighttree stalks. Wonder if they'll turn out to be important.
[5] YOUR NEWFOUND EXPERTISE IN LIGHTTREE MAINTENANCE AND UPKEEP COULD RIVAL ELECTRIC NAZI BOTANISTS THEMSELVES. IT SEEMS THAT THE TREES WILL EVENTUALLY BLOSSOM INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. THAT'S ALL YOU CAN FIGURE OUT AT THIS POINT, THOUGH.
Respawn as Tupac.
Rap about insufficient bathrooms.
[1] AS PRECISE AND POETICALLY WORDED YOUR RHYMED TREATISE OF THE POOR SANITARY CONDITIONS IN THE TOWN ARE, THE RTD CURSE OF APPEARING FOR LESS THAN A TURN BEFORE BEING SHOT AT A THOUSAND TIMES AND STABBED A BIT FOR GOOD MEASURE CATCHES UP WITH YOU. RESPAWN?
Create RED flag out of shirt. Affix it in prominent location to raise morale and increase recruitment. Designate that location RED HQ.
[4] YOU DESIGNATE THE EASTERNMOST MARKET DISTRICT AS THE
RED HQ. RECRUITMENT INTENSIFIES DUE TO AN OVERPOPULATED RESIDENTIAL AREA NEARBY.
HARNESS THE ELECTRIC NAZI'S POWER FOR MY OWN USE
PUNCH AT 224,000 MPH
[3] THE POWER OF ELECTRIC NAZI IS FLOWING THROUGH YOU. IT FEELS GOOD. [4] YOU PUNCH THE WEAKENED NAZI AT 60 KILOMETERS PER SECOND. THE RESULTING CORPSE SUFFERS FROM REENTRY EFFECTS ON ASCENT AND WILL SLAM INTO THE MOON SHORTLY.
RESPAWN AS A RUBBER WEARING GIMP. TAUNT ELECTRIC NAZI LEADER AND CHALLENGE HIM TO A KNIFE FIGHT.
[2] BEING UNABLE TO APPROACH ELECTROHITLER OR WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE NOW, YOU MAKE YOUR WAY TO CYBORG TESLA. [2+1] ONCE MORE, YOU ARE SHOT AT WITH LIGHTNING BOLTS. THE RUBBER'S NOT REALLY THICK ENOUGH, BUT YOU SURVIVE THE ATTACK. [4] CONFUSED AS TO WHAT HE SHOULD DO NOW, HE ACCEPTS YOUR CHALLENGE.
[4v4] AFTER DRAWING YOUR RESPECTIVE SHIVS, AN INTENSE ROUND OF DODGING, ATTACKS AND COUNTERATTACKS BEGINS. NONE OF THEM CONNECT, THOUGH. DURING THE STALEMATE, THE ELECTRIC NAZI ARE STARTING A BETTING POOL.
The revolution shall begin! Recruit more people including ELECTRIC NAZIS BY TELLING THEM TO EMPREACE THE SOCIALISM SIDE OF NATIONAL SOCIALISM. Recruit Native Americans from all time periods promising land shared with all, so it could be use for guns or teddy bears. Avoid death by that goddess and try to find a way to kill her.
[4] RECRUITMENT CONTINUES TO INTENSIFY. [3] THE ELECTRIC NAZIS ARE RATHER RELUCTANT TO JOIN YOUR CAUSE, BUT SOME OF THEM FEEL THE EMPIRE DOES NOT ADHERE ENOUGH TO SOCIALIST IDEALS, WHAT WITH THEIR WORLD CONQUEST AND THE OTHER STUFF SLAMMED INTO A WALL IN THE TWENTIES. [6] YOUR PREACHING RENDS A HOLE IN REALITY FROM WHICH EVERY NATIVE AMERICAN TO LIVE OR EVER HAVE LIVED IS DUMPED ONTO THE MARKET SQUARE. ALSO SOME NETHERBEASTS. BUT MOSTLY NATIVE AMERICANS. [6] AFTER BREAKING THE FABRIC OF REALITY, KILLING OFF THE PATRON GODDESS OF THE TOWN PROVES REMARKABLY EASY. ATHEISM, HO!
ACTIVATE ELECTRIC NAZI LIGHTNING DIVE BOMBERS, RAIN GALVANIC HELL UPON THOSE THAT DEFY ELECTRIC NAZI DOMINION
[5] THE BLITZ MACHINE IS BROUGHT INTO FULL SWING AS THE SOURCE OF THE PALADINS POWER BEGINS TO FALTER. THE WESTERN PORTIONS OF THE TOWN SURRENDER TO YOU, BUT THE REST REMAINS DEFIANT.
SCALP TICKETS TO OTHER DEAD SOULS TO GET GOOD SEATS FOR WATCHING THE SHOWDOWN.
[5] THROUGH THE POWERS OF GHOSTLY CAPITALISM, YOU ACCRUE ENOUGH CREDIT TO GET FIRST ROW SEATS ON CYBORG TESLA TRYING TO STAB A RUBBER WEARING GIMP. NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
Point out that Tesla was a Serbian-American, not a German, and hence would not have been "enlisted" by the Nazis.
[2] CYBORG TESLA REQUESTS A BREAK FROM THE ENDLESS ARRAY OF STABS AND COUNTERSTABS TO SHOVE A NATURALIZATION CERTIFICATE INTO YOUR NOSE. IF YOU PULL IT OUT QUICK, IT MIGHT STILL BE READABLE. HE THEN RETURNS TO THE TASK AT HAND.
DRIVE MY GIANT WAR TIGER, ATIS, INTO THE ELECTRIC NAZIS. SICK EM, ATIS. ALSO USE MY MAMELUKE SWORD TO CUT THEM TO PIECES.
[1] YOU CHARGE ONWARDS AND RUN HEADLONG INTO A GROUP OF ELECTRIC NAZI ELECTRIC ELEPHANT RIDERS. APPARENTLY THEY WERE DEPLOYED SPECIFICALLY TO COUNTER YOU, THOUGH DON'T EVEN NOTICE YOU UNTIL YOUR SWORD STABS AN ELECTRIC ELEPHANT THROUGH THE SOLE. THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THAT KILL YOU. RESPAWN?
FLY IN AND BITCHSLAP EVERYONE EVER.
[1] YOU FLY IN ON A MAGICAL BITCH AND BEGIN SLAPPING PEOPLE WITH HER. SAID BITCH DOESN'T TAKE KINDLY TO IT AND RIPS YOUR THROAT OUT. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
RESPAWN! Arrive with an M6 heavy tank and an escort of the goddess's divine tank maidens! Obliterate Nazis with ultimate divine wrath!
[6] THROUGH THE POWERS OF SAVTRIA, YOU ARE GRANTED TWENTY M551 SHERIDANS WITH CREW OF DIVINE SPAWN. SOMETHING ABOUT THEM FEELS ODD, HOWEVER... [4] YOU DON'T THINK MUCH OF IT AS YOUR GROUP CHARGES HEADLONG INTO THE RUINS OF THE WESTERN DISTRICT AND STARTS RAINING HELL UPON THE INVADERS.
SCHOOL THE BOMBS FIRST, THOUGH. BY THAT I MEAN TEACH THEM HOW TO BE BOMBS.
[2] THE BOMBS RESIST YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND DECIDE TO STICK TO THE OLD WAYS OF EXPLODING WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT.
Changeing actions, BOMB ALL THE COMPETITION, THEN GET DISCOUNTED BOMBS AS IM A BOOMMMBER OF DOOOOOM
BOLD YOUR ACTIONS, NERD[5] YOU APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE AND BOMB EVERYONE EQUALLY. THIS CAUSES LITTLE DAMAGE, BUT CAUSES IT TO EVERYONE. GREAT SUCCESS.
TCM: SPREADING CONSCIOUSNESS ABOUT SOCIAL DILEMMAS BY BEING SHOT IN THE FACE
Harry Baldman: SECURING AN EXISTENCE FOR THE LIGHTTREES
NullForceOmega: THE PALADIN THE TOWN NEEDS, BUT DOESN'T DESERVE
Remuthra: SHOWTIME'S GOT NOTHING ON THIS
Grahamagara: ATTEMPTING COLLABORATION
Objective: TEACHING BOMB MANNERS 101
Krath: APPLYING THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR, IF THE NORTH STAR WAS A MOON
GreatWyrmGold: WONDERING IF IT WAS THIS EASY WITH OBAMA TOO
BeruangSarkis: DUELING WITH CYBORG TESLA
DarkArtemisFowl: STOMPED LIKE IT'S MONTY PYTHON
Gamerlord: EXERCISING THE BITCHSLAP MANUEVER
wer6: STRATEGICALLY BOMBING ALL THE THINGS
POTATO SOUP GOLEM
????
poketwo: KILLING GODS LEFT AND RIGHT
Avis-Mergulus: INITIALIZING UPRISING WORKS
~1500 VARIOUS COMBATANTS
Errol: WONDERING WHY NOBODY BOTHERED PUT ANTI-AIRCRAFT DEFENSES IN HERE
UNTEROFFIZIER WILHELM POELZ
CYBORG TESLA
????
OUTER WALLS:
72% ELECTRIC NAZI, 28% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
WESTERN QUARTER:
86% ELECTRIC NAZI, 14% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
NORTHERN QUARTER:
17% ELECTRIC NAZI, 80% PALADIN, 3% RED CONTROL
EASTERN QUARTER:
3% ELECTRIC NAZI, 72% PALADIN, 25% RED CONTROL
SOUTHERN QUARTER:
0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 99% PALADIN, 1% RED CONTROL
STRONGHOLD:
0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
boy
did you fuck your own shit up now.
[AUTOFAIL] SENSE ROLL: DAMN ARE THESE MUSICIANS LOUD.
Author
Topic: ELECTIC NAZI SIEGE - ANNIHILATION INTENSIFIES; THE LIGHT AWAKENS (Read 26008 times)