FIRST HOUR OF SIEGE
TURNS ARE HOURS, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS
Get a 40 oz. Order pizza. Sit back and relax.
[4] YOU PULL OUT A BOTTLE OF QUALITY MALT LIQUOR FROM ONE OF THE NUMEROUS STRATEGICALLY LOCATED STASHES IN THE WALLS. [4] IN SPITE OF BEING UNDER SIEGE, THE ELECTRIC NAZI DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE JAMMED COMMUNICATIONS. HOW SILLY OF THEM. [3] [2] TOOK IT HALF HOUR TO ARRIVE. IT'S SOMEWHAT COLD, BUT AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.
Partake of pizza if I am allowed. If not, resume eternal vigil over the Most Holy Entertainment Box of Troubadours.
[?] YOU STARE AT THE PIZZA, AND THEN AT TCM. THEN BACK AT THE PIZZA AND THEN BACK AT TCM. THERE ARE NO DIAMONDS.
I, The Divine Protector Nullius, shall defend the goddess from these heathen Nazis! Pray for a divine M3 Lee battletank with a 76mm anti-tank gun
[6] YOU DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND PRAY ROBUSTLY! A PASSING BATTLEPRIEST JOINS YOU IN PRAYER! [2+1] A BOG-STANDARD M4 SHERMAN DROPS OUT OF THE SKY! THE SUSPENSION IS DAMAGED! THE BATTLEPRIEST IS CONFUSED! IT PUNCHES THE TANK TO TEST LEGIBILITY! [3-1] IT HURTS ITSELF IN ITS CONFUSION!
Set up a store. Someone's going to need to buy things soon.
[5] CAPITALISM, HO! THE STORE IS SET UPWARDS AND THE PEOPLE ARE STARING AT THE STORE. WHAT NOW?
Try to be the hero, search for starter gear.
[3] YOU ARE THE TRIAL HERO. IT IS YOU. THE GRANDMASTER'S YET TO BUY A FULL LICENSE. [6] YOU FIND A TYPE 11 INFANTRY GUN +12! YOU FIND THAT ITS PROJECTILE IS CURRENTLY FLYING AT YOUR LEFT INDEX FINGER! [1] THE LEFT INDEX FINGER EXPLODES IN GORE! ACTUALLY THAT'S YOUR LEFT ARM. AND IT DIDN'T EXPLODE IN GORE, THE ENTIRETY OF YOU DID. RESPAWN?
Try to be the hero, search for starter gear.
See what I mean?
[1] FUCK I HAVE NO EYES HOW AM I EVEN TYPING
POTATO TO WATER
[3] YOU TOSS A CART OF POTATOES INTO A POND. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANTED TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THIS.
MEANWHILE, THE ELECTRIC NAZI DEPLOY
THE VIOLENT TRAMPOLINE OF FURY OUTSIDE THE TOWN PALISADE AND BEGIN JUMPING ON IT IN AN AESTHETICALLY PLEASING MANNER, SLOWLY INCREASING THE HEIGHT THEY REACH.
>if you read the wtf thread you'll know that i have no idea where i'm going with this so bear with me (and start throwing shit a round we might even get a plot going)
also THIS TIME AROUND i'll write down what the fucking modifiers do and how to get them so they'll be STANDARDIZED woo