NIGHTCYCLE 1.B
[4] THE LINK SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED AND WILL BE READY FOR USE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. CHOOSE YOUR LINKING TARGET WISELY.
[3] ALRIGHT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THAT MOON WHY IS IT ORANGE
CHARGE TOWARDS NAZIS AGAIN. DO NOT HIT WALL.
[3] YOU WALK TOWRADS THE ELECTRIC NAZI AT A BRISK PACE.
FORGET THE MORTARS. SUMMON HELEL AND USE MY ALTER-EGO TO SUMMON LUCIFER. COMBINE THEM BOTH TO CREATE SATAN AND START ARMAGEDDON.
[5] [2+3] LUCIFER AND HELEL ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THING. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW PEOPLE COULD CREATE SERIES WHILE FUCKING OVER THE SOURCE MATERIAL THIS BADLY, BUT LEARNING THE ARMAGEDDON SPELL TURNS OUT TO BE EASY AS HELL GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. ALSO YOU HAVE A DOUBLE SATAN NOW AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL HIM TO TAKE A SLICE OF THE CAKE YOU SAID THERE WILL BE CAKE DARKARTEMISFOWL WHERE IS THE CAKE
Respawn,evaluate damage caused by me, use power to open dimensional rifts to all glory eras of communism in all media, including red alert. Use massive armies to crush all opposition, recruit more people, build more tanks, and absorb more power, but make sure this wont happen to me again: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PhlebotinumOverload
ALSO USE REAL SOVIET POWER TO KILL SATAN, AND SARVRTIA TO.
[4+3] THERE ARE ABOUT 2 EXATHAUMS OF FREE FLOATING POWER WITHIN THE IMMEDIATE SURROUNDINGS OF THE PLANET. OF COURSE, THIS MEANS NOTHING TO YOU. [6+3] YOU OPEN RIFTS. YOU OPEN ALL THE RIFTS. IT DOES NOT END THERE, HOWEVER, AS FOR AS MANY RIFTS YOU HAVE CREATED OUT OF YOUR OWN ACCORD THE ONES FROM BEYOND THE RIFTS HAVE CREATED THEIR OWN RIFTS FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT BY MERELY THINKING OF THE POSSIBILITIES. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE CREATED A MULTIVERSAL NEXUS. [3] THE MASSIVE ARMIES OF COMMUNISM ARE TOO BUSY FIGHTING THEIR COUNTERPARTS IN ORBIT OF THE PLANET, BUT GENERAL GRADENKO CONTRIBUTES A SMALL EXPEDITIONARY FORCE TO YOUR CAUSE. [4] YOU ADEQUATELY RECRUIT SOME MORE PEOPLE AND CONSTRUCT A FEW ARMORED VEHICLES. [1+3] YOU ABSORB SOME POWER, BUT IT ESCAPES YOUR BODY WITHIN MOMENTS. [3v5] DOUBLE SATAN DOESN'T EVEN CARE AND CONTINUES ASKING WHERE THE CAKE IS, [1] BUT YOUR ATTEMPT TO KILL SAVTRIA REMINDS HER OF SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. NAMELY, OF YOUR LOCATION.
A GIANT TANK BURSTS OUT OF THE GROUND BEFORE YOUR EYES AND AN ORANGE SKINNED, ORANGE EYED WOMAN WITH SHORT, SPIKY HAIR DISEMBARKS FROM IT. BEFORE YOUR FORCES CAN REACT, THEY'RE PUSHED AWAY BY AN ENERGIZED BATTLESCREEN THAT THE TANK SEEMS TO PROJECT. SHE QUICKLY DUSTS OFF HER VICTORIAN DRESS BEFORE HER NARROW EYES GIVE YOU A LONG, HARD LOOK, AS IF ANALYZING THE VERY ESSENCE OF YOUR BEING. AFTER A RATHER TENSE MOMENT, SHE BEGINS TO LAUGH.
"THAT IS THE MORTAL WHO'S ENDED A GODLY COLD WAR? OVER WHAT? ECONOMICS? NOTIONS OF SUPERIORITY? I HAVEN'T HAD SUCH A LAUGH EVER SINCE WE ACTUALLY HAD A GOD NAMED DONUT, I SWEAR."SHE TAKES A MOMENT TO COMPOSE HERSELF AND CONTINUES.
"WELL THEN! WHERE ARE MY MANNERS. THE NAME IS LADY SAVTRIA SILENTRED, THE ELLATAR OF THIS PART OF THE MULTIVERSE."SHE QUICKLY BOWS.
"YOU'VE DONE ME A HUGE FAVOR HERE, SO I'LL DO YOU ONE IN KIND."SHE RAISES HER LEFT HAND, THE EMERALD BRACELET ON HER WRIST SHINING BRIGHTLY AS SHE DOES SO.
[5+(3*2)v4]
"CHEERS."THE FAINT TASTE OF SALTY MEXICAN CUISINE IS THE LAST THING YOU FEEL BEFORE A BEAM OF DEATH-SCENTED ENERGY ERADICATES FROM THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE. RESPAWN?
Let's see if I remember my plan right.
Hack cyborg Nikolai Tesla. Make him a good guy. Maybe program him with a version of those rules someone hacked into Robo-Hitler back in YAFB.
[6] YOU INSTALL HITLER SUBROUTINES INTO CYBORG TESLA AND CHANGE HIS ALIGNMENT. HE SWIFTLY RENOUNCES THE ELECTRIC NAZI, THEN RENOUNCES THE PALADINS, THEN RENOUNCES THE PLANET IN WHICH THERE IS AS MUCH EVIL AS THERE ACTUALLY IS AND SETS OUT ON HIS WAY TO ERADICATE THE EVIL WITH THE POWER OF BIONIC FIST. AS IF WE NEEDED MORE FACTIONS.
Build. The. Space.Plane.
then have the other planes make babys,lots and lots of babys, any extra bombers go and bomb the... Civilians!
THE SHOPKEEPER REMINDS YOU THAT NO PREVIEWS ARE PERMITTED IN DEALS INVOLVING RANDOM WARES. SHOP ETIQUETTE. REAL SIMPLE STUFF.
[4] YOU CREATE A PLANE THAT REACHES SPACE. IT IS A SPACE PLANE. A PLANE, IN SPACE. HUZZAH! [2] HOW IS BOMBER BORNED
SECRETLY RECRUIT PEOPLE TO BECOME SECRET NINJAS. THEN MAKE NAZIS (in the east) SECRETLY DEAD.
[5] YOU CONDUCT
SURPRISE SECRET RECRUTATION OF SECRET
NINJAS. THEY'RE SO SECRET, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM. [5v4-1] THE EASTERN NAZIS INTENSIFY IN SECRET DEADNESS.
I have the goddess, I have a Bolo mark XXXV, I am on a mission of apocalyptic retirbution, everything that does not immediately bow before Savrtia DIES, really, really unpleasantly. With Hellbores. And infinite repeaters. And VLBMs. And massive armored tracks. And whatever else I've got to make them die with. Maybe a t-shirt. Also, the RED ARMY (directly responsible for the goddess' demise) who have FOOLISHLY called an IMPERIAL regiment get nuked. Hard. With every single VLBM I have.
Edited due to silly action by commisar who has never encountered the planetary supremacy weapon mankind calls the Bolo mark XXV Tremendous.
[4] YOU BURST OUT OF THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
RED ENCAMPMENT AND PREPARE TO FIRE ALL THE THINGS. SAVTRIA STOPS YOUR HAND JUST BEFORE YOU PRESS THE "LAUNCH ALL THE MISSILES" BUTTON.
"I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A BETTER IDEA. WAIT HERE!"SHE GIGGLES QUIETLY BEFORE THROWING A COUPLE SWITCHES AND DISEMBARKING FROM THE BOLO.
Organize Compton into an official faction with myself as the leader.
[2]
THEY'RE GETTIN' TIPSY WITH MORGAN FREEMAN INSTEAD.SUMMON THANATOS, THE GRIM REAPER, YAMA AND THOSE GUYS FROM DEAD LIKE ME TO JOIN THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG NAMED FACTION "OF DEATH INCARNATES" DEMAND TO HAVE THESE 3 WORDS ADDED TO THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG NAMED FACTION..
[5+1] YOU SUMMON THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE INSTEAD. FUCK THE MIDDLE MAN. [4] WORDS ADDED SUCCESSFULLY.
PREPARE ELITE COMMANDO BOMBS TO TRAIN WITH THE GOD OF EXPLOSIONS. ALL SHALL QUAKE IN THEIR POWER TO NOT DIE WHEN THEY EXPLODE.
[6] YOU PREPARE THE ELITE COMMANDO BOMBS SO WELL THAT THEY TRANSCEND REALITY AND BECOME GODS THEMSELVES. THEY THEN START TRAINING THEIR GODLY POWERS UNDER ONE ANOTHER. THE GROUND BEGINS SHAKING UNDER THEIR COMBINED EXPLOSIVE FORCE.
FINISH TEA. COMMENCE CONSTRUCTION OF THE OMEGA SPIDERTANK USING BITS AND PIECES LAYING AROUND, WITH A WAVE MOTION CANNON OR SOME BULLCRAP FOR A MAIN GUN. GO ON A RECRUITING DRIVE BECAUSE FUCK DRIVING IT MYSELF.
[1] YOU VIOLENTLY CONSUME THE TEA. NOW, THIS USUALLY WOULDN'T BE SO BAD, EVEN WITH THE ADDED CYANIDE. WHAT IS BAD IS THAT YOU CHOKED ON IT. YOUR FELLOW PALADINS ATTEMPTED TO HELP YOU, BUT DID NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE STEALTHELECTRONAZI WHO EFFORTLESSLY PERFORMED THE HEIMLICH COUNTER-MANEUVER BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGAN TO CHOKE. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
Respawn. Declare Charon and NullForceOmega heresy (*BLAM*) and summon 193rd Valhallan Armoured Regiment to aid in the extemination of heretics. Form alliance with our Space comrades against Charon and the paladins.
[4] CHARON AND NULLFORCEOMEGA ARE NOW CONSIDERED EXTRA HERETICAL. YOU END UP MURDERING A FEW OF YOUR FOLLOWERS FOR THINKING ABOUT THEM TO GET THE POINT ACROSS. [1] THE CALL FOR AID FROM THE MIDDLE OF WHAT THE EMPIRE PERCIEVES AS A WARP STORM YIELDS ONLY A CYCLONE TORPEDO TO THE FACE. A FRAG CYCLONE TORPEDO. AREN'T THESE USUALLY LAND-TO-LAND? EH, WHATEVER WORKS. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
DIPLOMACY IS A FREE ACTION, THOUGH. YOUR FACTIONS ARE MERGED INTO RED/SPACOVIET IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE ALLIANCE DUE TO MUTUAL CONSENSUS.
SUMMON THANATOS, THE GRIM REAPER, YAMA AND THOSE GUYS FROM DEAD LIKE ME TO JOIN THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG NAMED FACTION "OF DEATH INCARNATES" DEMAND TO HAVE THESE 3 WORDS ADDED TO THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG NAMED FACTION..
Replace with Xanatos1, the Dim Beeper, Yamaha2, and dead guys like him. Because why not?
[1] WHILE MESSING WITH HIS BOOK OF SUMMONING YOU MANAGE TO SCRIBBLE THE SPELL FOR SUMMONING THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE IN IT AND THEN HELP HIM OUT IN ENACTING IT HOPING IT'LL BLOW UP SPECTACULARLY. THEY APPEAR IN FRONT OF YOU. SMOOTH.
PERFECT.
NAME STATUE "STATUE IN WARZONE". RALLY THE OTHER "ARTISTICALLY ENLIGHTENED" BY GIVING A SPEECH ON THE DEEP METAPHYSICAL MEANING OF THE STATUE AND HOW IT WILL HELP FIGHT THE CONFORMIST FASCIST REGIME; ENCOURAGE THEM TO SHARE THIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. WEAR BEANIE AND IRONIC SHIRT TO INCREASE SPEECH EFFECTIVENESS BY 200%. EMPLOY STRATEGIC USE OF EYEROLLING TO DRIVE POINT HOME AND CROWDSURF TO VICTORY.
IF SPEECH FAILS, WRITE WHINY, PASSIVE-AGGRESIVE BLOG POST.
[6] YOU TURN YOUR SIGHTS TOWARD ONE OF THE FEMALES IN THE GATHERING.
"YOU SEE, M'LADY,
IN THE WAY, THE SUPERNATURAL IS WHAT BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
NORMALLY, YOU ONLY NEED TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING ON STAGE.
THAT'S HOW REALITY WORKS.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, THEN IT'S FOR THE BEST.
ACTUALLY, LEARNING ABOUT THE SUPERNATURAL ONLY INCREASES THE NUMBER OF THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW.
AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO PUNCH THE NAZIS IN THE FACE."YOU TIP YOUR FEDORA (WHICH WAS ALREADY ARTISTICALLY STACKED ATOP YOUR BEANIE) AS A THOUSAND POLAROID CAMERAS FLASH YOU AT ONCE AND INSTAGRAM STRUGGLES TO KEEP UP WITH THE PAYLOAD OF #NOFILTER #JUSTPALADINTHINGS #PUNCHNAZIS501. FINGER SNAPPING INTENSIFIES AS YOUR IMAGE RAPIDLY SPREADS THROUGH THE INTERNET, AND THE MOMENT YOU FINALLY LOSE YOUR UNIQUENESS THE CROWD DISPERSES. WHAT THEY WILL DO NOW, THE GODS ONLY KNOW.
THAT WENT WELL, I GUESS.
FACTION LEADER: Savtria the Ellatar +(3*2)
TCM: WITNESSING MORGAN FREEMAN'S ADVENTURES IN COMPTON
Harry Baldman: RESTING . . .
NullForceOmega: BUSTING OUT OF THE UNDERWORLD
Remuthra: [sips internally]
Objective: ASCENDING BOMBS TO GODHOOD
Krath: INTENSIFYING TEA CONSUMPTION
GreatWyrmGold: ASSISTING OMNICIDE
BeruangSarkis: TIPPING STACKED HATS
DarkArtemisFowl: WHERE IS THE CAKE
Gamerlord: RESTING . . .
Elephant Parade: WALKING UP TO THE ELECTRIC NAZI LIKE WHAT UP I GOT A BIG SWORD
POTATO SOUP GOLEM
????
FACTION LEADER: wer6: INITIALIZING THE SPACE PROGRAM
ASSORTED AIRCRAFT
RED:
FACTION LEADER: Avis-Mergulus: CYCLONE'D
poketwo: SO SALTY RIGHT NOW
aattss: HIGHLY INVISIBLE NINJA
1500 SOVIET INFANTRYMEN
120 SOVIET SELF-PROPELLED ROCKET ARTILLERY
~130 NETHERBEASTS IN ARMORED VEHICLES
~200 REGULAR NETHERBEASTS
~550 ASSORTED MEN
NINJAS?
SPACOVIET EMPIRE:
FACTION LEADER: Dorsidwarf: ESTABLISHING ALLIANCE
FACTION LEADER: CHARON
Grahamagara: INTENSIFYING RIDICULOUSNESS OF FACTION NAME
HORSEMEN OF APOCALYPSE
Errol: RESTING . . .
UNTEROFFIZIER WILHELM POELZ
????
CYBORG TESLA +1
VARIOUS ELECTRIC NAZIS FROM TESLA'S PERSONAL BODYGUARD
WESTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (PARTIALLY DESTROYED)
MAIN TOWN: 81% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 19% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: RUBBLE (PARTIALLY CLEARED)
ELECTRIC NAZI REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HIGH DENSITY) (LIGHTLY FORTIFIED)
NORTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (BREACHED)
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (30% TO FORTIFIED)
SPECIAL: LIGHTTREE LOCATION
EASTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 60% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 40% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (BREACHED)
MAIN TOWN: 45% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 55% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HEAVILY DAMAGED)
SOUTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HEAVILY FORTIFIED)
PALADIN HEADQUARTERS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HIGH DENSITY) (FORTIFIED)
STRONGHOLD:
0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 100% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: MILITARY COMPOUND
[FACTIONS INTENSIFY]
that map is really starting to look fucking ridiculous now
I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE IT A SPREADSHEET
also, if anyone happens to care about the link system i'm going to take votes on what we link this game with, amount of regrets this will cause me tba
as if this isn't a shitstorm of references yet
i'm not even sorry for the last part though
by the way: it's been 22 days since the grammar nazi bait of "electic" in the title has been let loose and nobody took it up so i can put them in the nazi camp THIS WHOLE THREAD IS POINTLESS
[5] THE LIGHTTREE FIRMLY TAKES ROOT IN THE SOIL AND BEGINS TO BLOSSOM. ITS FLOWERS LOOK SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE CHERRIES.
[2] SENSE ROLL: CAN'T SEE SHIT, CAPTAIN
THE NIGHT HAS ENDED. COMBAT WILL BEGIN IN APPROXIMATELY ONE HOUR. GOOD LUCK.