After the goblin siege broke through my newb defenses, they absolutely destroyed my army. Luckily, my fortress had plenty of obsidian, and I'd been churning out obsidian short swords for the better part of the last year, so militarizing the civilians was a quick process. After a furious battle in which fully 1/7 of my dorfs were slain, including the mayor, I began following the travels of the baby Spartacus. This is his story.
Spartacus was the son of some random planter, hereafter known as Urist McDeadbeat, and a legendary bonecarving mother whos valuable artifact was surely the cause of the siege.. While an infant, his mother took part in the aforementioned battle and was slain by a gut wound. Spartacus was left to fend for himself, covered in his mothers bile, abandoned by his father who went on the become the next Mayor. Astoundingly, he avoided falling in the well numerous times as he scrabbled for the seeds left behind in the meeting hall, and drank from the buckets of dorfs who were wounded in the fight. He survived till childhood, which he spent under the light of the Daystar. Despite repeated goblin ambushes, he grew to adulthood, when he finally tantrumed. The only victim of his rage? Urist McDeadbeat. Spartacus is in jail for patricide right now, and the repercussions of his actions threaten to plunge the entire fortress into chaos.
Or the short version, Fun happened.
Well, I do remember this, and it was pretty awesome. As I remember, the fort survived that tantrum spiral, but not too long after there was another, larger, noble-related one that wiped everything out (or near enough that I didn't bother to recover.)
Every grammar error I see in my first posts is like a nail hammered into my skull, though. And somehow, I was even LESS imaginative when it comes to naming things back then.