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Give the boy a hug and tell him everything will be OK

0 (0%)

Confiscate the property by force, and leave him there as punishment

0 (0%)

Pick the boy's pocket to take the stolen property for yourself, and leave the boy to his fate

0 (0%)

Lead the boy to safety, then turn him over to the authorities

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Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: October 31, 2013, 11:14:32 pm

[Tiruin]

Make Axe meet his standards for beauty.
@Lukeinator: I can't help but notice that you have changed your action from "Attack Fane" to "Parry" 30 minutes after CubeJackal has posted his action. We had an unspoken ban on action-changing in this game. You have violated it on behalf of Team A, so, strictly speaking, there's no longer any reason for Team B to hold back either.

Hmm... maybe it would be better if you just changed the action to what it was and we pretended that nothing happened?

Sorry, hadn't noticed that.

:I
Yeah. Editing actions is a no-no. Take all assumptions from flavor of the GM instead of looking at others' actions and then basing it on metaknowledge. >_>
I mean, really. HmH is being transparent with design orders of the team.
Also why don't you want to attack me?! D:< [/rawr]

[Nerjin]

Brewmaster Yoohoo surveyed the entirety of the battle-field. Men and women cloaked in red and blue fighting each other in a bloody contest that threatened to replace river-water with flowing blood contaminated by corpses. “No… This will not do. This is not what the gods would want.” He lamented “There is no booze here.” Shouting above the clamor of combat Brewmaster Yoohoo did what he did best “FIRST MAN OR WOMAN TO DESTROY THESE INSOLENT MILK-DRINKERS WHO THINK THEY CAN DEFEAT US GETS TWO FREE BARRELS OF ALE!”

The combat stopped for a brief moment as each member of his army thought about this. His brew was the best in the world. Men would die and fight for it. Two free barrels? That whipped each and every man and woman in the defending army into a frenzy.

“What?” Fane Ravien caught herself wondering “These tyrants fight only for pleasure!” She shouted after a moment “They seek not to save their families! They seek not to protect what is good! THEY ONLY SEEK DRINK AND WOMEN! DESTROY THESE LIVING DEMONS SO THAT THEY MAY NO-“ Fane Ravien’s rallying cry was stopped as Axe the Undead Pre-Zombified Axe Weilder and Luke II swung their axes in complete unison. The first axe, Axe’s, bisected her vertically, the second, Luke’s, bisected her horizontally.

“Keep your mouth shut. That was for my Father. Stupid bitch.” Luke II stated as he kicked the body of the once great pirate.

“No need for foul language.” Axe corrected him as Klaus’ ax created a nasty gash in his leg.

“Die abomination!” Klaus shouted as he raised his ax for another, deadlier, swing.

“Observe,” Axe said as he side-stepped the second swing “Pardon me.” With a powerful kick Axe created a few feet between him and his adversary “Polite talk gets you A-HEAD,” Axe punctuated this by attempting to decapitate Klaus who dodged the swing easily “In life!”

“Oi! Lad!” Lachlan DeGroot shouted as he charged Luke II “Thar be no reason ta be attackin’ a lass!”

“Would you not avenge your father’s death!” Luke II barely deflected the other mans attack.

“Aye! But not so violently!” Lachlan shouted as he took a vicious swing with his halberd.

“Violence can only be solved by violence in war!” Luke II shouted but stumbled over the remains of Fane Ravien in his haste to dodge.

“In tha’ case!” Lachlan brought his Halberd down as hard as he could. Intent on saving his commander.

*CLANG*

The sound of metal on metal rang through his ears as he watched another Halberd intercept his in a move unlikely to have worked but never-the-less he bore witness to its success. Following the shaft of the weapon he saw Raalup the Great One holding the other end.

“Wha? Why not attack me?”

“I’m the distraction.” Raalup smiled as he watched the Short Sword of Eltonius nearly decapitate Lachlan.

Nearly in this case meaning Would have, had Luke II’s angered kick not pushed the pikeman out of the way so that his only injury was a small cut on his throat.

“What the hell recruit!” Eltonius shouted at Luke II who scrambled to his feet.

“He’s my kill damn-it! Stay out of this!” Luke II shouted before Eltonius’ fist connected to his face.

“You insolent brat! I saved your life! When this is over you will be demoted!”

“I’m not some soldier boy! I fight for my father.”

“So he wants you to save the enemy?” Raalup asked in annoyance.

“He wants them dead by my hand! I know it! His spirit guides me.”

“Whatever! Just get out there and fight the enemy! And don’t you EVER try that again!” Eltonius shouted as the three split up to attack several un-named soldiers.

Raalup’s fight with an un-named man wielding a cross-bow was going surprisingly well. For some reason the moron decided to simply charge up with the cross-bow like a club. It was interesting to note that the man apparently had no bolts or even a quiver to hold them. ‘Who sends a man to their death like this?’ Raalup mused as he watched his Halberd pierce the man’s heart.

“Surprise!” Cromwell Jackson shouted as he brought his hatchet down upon the now pre-occupied Raalup.

“Wha!” Raalup felt a sudden jolt as he scrambled away from his enemy’s swing taking the cross-bowman’s body with him. He knew it connected but he felt no pain. Clearing the body from his weapon he saw what it was. Part of the shaft near the end was missing causing the weapon to be about nine centimeters shorter. “Damn-it… I liked this too.”

“Well you won’t have much time to grieve it cause your head’s next!” Raalup shouted as the two began exchanging blows.

“What the hell are you!” Sir Hansen shouted at Berry Smiles the Wraith as they once again dodged an attack.

“I am a wraith. I am here for you… Well for now anyway. I have another more important target in mind. But you seem intent on throwing your life away.” Berry Smiles said in a tone that suggested extreme boredom.

Sir Hansen paused for a moment considering the words of his adversary “Who is it you seek?”

“You!” Alex Shater shouted as he leapt forward in an attempt to cave in Sir Hansen’s skull. Though the attack connected the heavy armor of Alex’s Morning Star did very little to penetrate Sir Hansen’s armor.

Unluckily for Sir Hansen the same could not be said of Berry Smile’s halberd. The blade barely touched Sir Hansen’s flesh but its ghostly presence left him feeling many years older.

“Do not worry.” Berry Smiles said as they walked forward, though Sir Hansen could swear they were floating, after withdrawing their weapon. “I’m after a man you’ve never met before and never will meet. He has evaded me for years but I will add him to my collection.”

“Is he in the city?” Sir Hansen inquired as he dodged, barely, another swing from Alex Shater.

“Oh no, he’s out here somewhere. He’s probably died already.”

“Then your task is done wraith, leave the fighting to mortal men!”

“Oh no. He’s still alive.”

“But… He died! You said so!” Sir Hansen was growing tired of these riddles.

“It’s a funny thing about being undead. It has some harsh pre-requisites.” Berry Smiles for the first time in the entire fight smiled “As you’re about to find out.”

Spoiler: Team A (click to show/hide)

Name: Sir Hansen
Class: Warrior [7-10 HP as opposed to 4-7
Health: 5/7
Weapon: Long Sword [1d6]
Shield: Tower Shield [+3 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Full Plate [-3 DAM received, -1 to DEFEND rolls]

Name: Raalup the Great One
Class: Inquisitor [+1 to DAM with Two Handed weapons]
Health: 3/6
Weapon: Halberd [1d6+1] [Ignores HEAVY armor]
Shield: None
Armor: Chainmail [-2 to DAM received, -3 to DAM received via Swords]

Name: Brewmaster Yoohoo
Class: Commander [Has access to Commands, Heavy armor only]
Health: 6
Weapon: Short Sword [1d4] [+1 to Parry Rolls]
Shield: Small Shield [+2 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Full Plate [-3 to DAM received] [-1 to DEFEND rolls]

Name: Axe the Undead Pre-Zombified Axe Weilder
Class: Barbarian [+1 to DAM with Axes]
Health: 5/7
Weapon: Battle Axe [2d4+2]
Shield: None
Armor: Leather [-1 to DAM received]

Name: Eltonius
Class: Blademaster [+1 DAM with Swords]
Health: 6
Weapon: Short Sword [1d4+1] [+1 to DEFEND rolls] [+1 to PARRY rolls]
Shield: Small Shield [+2 the DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Leather [-1 to DAM received]

Name: Luke II
Class: Inquisitor [+1 to DAM with Two Handed weapons]
Health: 6
Weapon: Battle Axe [2d4+2]
Shield: None
Armor: Cloth [-0 to DAM received] [+1 to DEFEND rolls]

Reserves are running low!
 

Spoiler: Team B (click to show/hide)

Name: Handsome Stranger
Class: Warrior
Health: 9
Weapon: Club [1d4-1]
Shield: Tower Shield [+3 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Cloth [+1 to DEFEND rolls]

Name: Berry Smiles the Wraith
Class: Pikeman [+1 DAM with Spears]
Health: 6
Weapon: Halberd [1d6+1] [DAM ignores HEAVY armor]
Shield: None
Armor: Chainmail [-2 to DAM received, -3 to DAM received by Swords]

Name: Lachlan DeGroot
Class:  Pikeman [+1 DAM with spears]
Health: 3/4
Weapon: Spear [1d4+1] [+1 DAM to HEAVY armor]
Shield: Small Shield [+2 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Full Plate [-3 to DAM received, -1 to DEFEND rolls]

Name: Cromwell Jackson
Class: Warrior [7-10 Health rather than 4-7]
Health: 10
Weapon: Hatchet [1d4+1]
Shield: Buckler [+1 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Chainmail [-2 DAM received] [-3 DAM received via Swords]

Name: Klaus
Class:  Barbarian [+1 DAM with Axes]
Health: 6
Weapon: Ax [1d6+2]
Shield: Small Shield [+2 to DEFEND rolls]
Armor: Studded [-2 DAM received] [-3 DAM received via Spears]

Name: Alex Shater
Class: Warrior [7-10 health]
Health: 9
Weapon: Morning Star [1d8-1] [Ignores non-HEAVY armor]
Shield: None
Armor: Chainmail [-2 to DAM received, -3 DAM received from swords]

 

1.      Nyle, Nightcrafter27, Barbarian

Spoiler:  The Graveyard 12/15 (click to show/hide)

R.I.P. Sam of B; killed by a Morning Star to the Face
R.I.P. Elton of A; killed by two hatchets to the arms.
R.I.P. Jenny Longhorn of B; killed by a Enchanted Dagger to the eye.
R.I.P. Knight Matis of A; killed by a true Morning Star.
R.I.P. Ms. Pretty Obvious of B; killed during a tragic beautification incident.
R.I.P. Roliep of A; knocked into the waiting, jagged arms of Death.
R.I.P. James of B; fighting until the end, he lost his temper and then his head.
R.I.P. Leon of B; His broken ribs did little to stop the short sword.
R.I.P. Luke of A; His will was strong but no man survives a punctured throat.
R.I.P. Henry of the Holes of A; His defense slipped for but a moment, now he’s gone forever.
R.I.P. Axe the Not-Yet-Undead Pre-Zombie of A; He died as he lived, by the Axe
R.i.P. Fane Ravien of B; She was a noble woman who deserved better than she got in life.

Spoiler: The Rolls and Actions (click to show/hide)

SIDE A

Parry

Attack: Lachlan
2:2
Fail
 

COMMAND: INSPIRE
5
+1 to all allies DAM rolls

Attack: Fane Ravien
5:4 = Success!
4 + 4 +2 + 1 – 3 = 8 DAM
Fane Ravien is dead!

Attack: Lachlan DeGroot
6:3 = Success!
2 + 1 + 1 – 3 = 1 DAM

Attack: Fane Ravien
5:4 = Success!
2 + 3 + 2 + 1 – 3 = 5 DAM
Fane Ravien is dead!

SIDE B

Attack: Eltonius
5:5
Fail!

Attack: Sir Hansen
5:1 = Success!
1 + 1 – 0 = 2 DAM

Attack: Luke II
3:6
Fail!

Attack: Raalup
3:6
Fail!

Attack: Axe
4:1
1 + 2 – 1 = 2 DAM

Attack: Sir Hansen
5:2
Fail!

Well… Fane Ravien got totally fuckin’ demolished there but other than that she didn’t do much.

Sorry for the delay though. I was out of inspiration for writing. Hopefully this is somewhat worth the wait.

[Harry Baldman]

Question: can I make another command or do I need to kill someone first?

[Tiruin]

((Query: What's with all the + modifiers on the attacks on me? O_O I mean, I get that, or guess that the first # after the opposing rolls is the xdy thing on the weapon but:

Spoiler: tomio (click to show/hide)

4 + 4 +2 + 1 – 3 = 8 DAM

+1 - Commander Order
+2 - B-axe
+1 - Role Mastery
...??

Spoiler: LukeII (click to show/hide)

2 + 3 + 2 + 1 – 3 = 5 DAM

+1 - Commander Order
+1 - Role Mastery
+2 - B-axe
...?!

...So where did the rest come from?))

[Death Flavor here + my last character, ever]

[Nerjin]

You must kill someone first. Any COMMAND [or COMMAND like ability *hint for future editions*] gives you the first one free and all further ones require a kill.

Well the Battle Axe does 2d4+1

Axe is a barbarian and Luke II is an Inquisitor which makes Axe get a +1 to Axes and Luke II a +1 with two handed weapons.

Thus: 1d4+1d4+2

Then the command of Brewmaster Yoohoo adds a +1 to that. Ending with: 1d4+1d4+2+1-Armor

Yeah... Sorry to hear you won't be sticking around. I'll miss ya mate.

[Tiruin]

...Oh.
I always thought the 2d4 meant 'minimum roll = 2; maximum = 4' without factoring in that you get 2 rolls of 1d4.
..Oh wow that hurts.
^{Battleaxe is OP!}

Yeah... Sorry to hear you won't be sticking around. I'll miss ya mate.

((Tbh, I was using Fane as my last character, ever--Luck was on her side and she lived a good life. To quote Tarquin [Order of the Stick Webcomic], the person will remember the things they did that brought them to where they are instead of 'that last 10 minutes of screwing up'.))

...
I'll miss you too Nerjin. Nobody calls me out here like you do.

[Harry Baldman]

Very well! Stab the Handsome Stranger.

[Haspen]

Attempt vile stabbery at Cromwell.

[HmH]

Orders:
Urist Mc Dwarf: Attack Axe.
Ozarck: Attack Raalup.
scapheap: Attack Brewmaster Yoohoo.
CubeJackal: Attack Brewmaster Yoohoo.
mastahcheese: Attack Luke.

[Lukeinator]

Kill cromwell jackson

[scapheap]

Berry look to one side "Seem I have a task. Bye mortal, it was fun for a second. Maybe we meet again. Maybe in a week, 10 pm, the Jaren ball?" she float off to the other side of the battle

Attack Brewmaster Yoohoo

[Ozarck]

Hello, I'm Handsome Stranger
Attack raalup

[mastahcheese]

Attack luke!

[Tavik Toth]

Parry!

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Make Axe meet my standards of beauty, which include crushed skulls.