Overseer's log: Chamberdrums, year 138
Grn 1. So I'm in charge again? Wasn't it a bad trip? Heh... I don't even know how could it happen. Maybe it's because of my new image of a great warrior?
Ah, screw it. What's done is done, and it's
my fortress again. Let's see what has changed while I was away from helm...
"Ezum? I need your he~"
Oh shit... When... How... what the heck?! Well, now it's only my job to know everything in the fortress. Where is my ledger?
There still are too many kids. These useless annoying brats make me angry. It's undwarflike to kill our own kind, but sometimes I could hardly forbear from nailing some of them with The Suicide of Ensorceling!
Anyway, screw them. I have more important thing to care about.
Wh... what?! Where is all that blade wealth? Do I have to smoke this Armok-damned rat stuff again?! No. No, no, no! It's better to quit smoking at all. Decided. From now on, I will never ever touch any weed.
Oh, these brats... Nice reason to get rid of another useless mouth. I'll do it myself.
Stop. Just got it... Where the heck is my axe? Why am I bearing this shield? Another reason to quit smoking: my memory is full of gaps. That's not good. Gotta get an axe somewhere. I feel unusual with only one weapon.
Dammit. The fortress is a total mess! Half of the dwarves are unhappy about their tattered clothes. What a bunch of crybabies... I wear rags too, but i don't care. But they still complaining and tantruming about that. Oh shit... And this was only the first day.
Grn 2. Another berserk, adult this time. Shame on you, comrade! A grown-up dwarf blubbering like a baby. At least you'll die in battle, how a true dwarf supposed to die. Hey-oh! Get 'er, guys!
Heheheh, we're too late. This dumbass ran into a cage trap and now howls inside her new home. Maybe we'll use her against goblins. She's even more berserk than me after two blade pipes!
And another berserk brat that was shot by somebeard before we came. Nice shot, Kogsak.
Grn 3. They tell me that Olon Nishekast has begun a mysterious construction. Who is that guy?
And what's he going to do with these things? I can hardly imagine. Now I think that I know who smoked all the blade weed.
Today I called a meeting in the dining hall. The tattered dwarves started whining, so I said just one thing:
"You don't like your clothes? Take it off."
"?!"
"You heard me. Take your rags off, dump it away and, by Ziril and Armok, stop complaining! Any questions? Questions asked. Meeting is over."
Maybe I was too rough?
Grn 8. The mooded brat created another piece of trash.
Well, I never expected more from these useless creatures. At least we've got another legendary craftsdwarf (although we already have a pack of them).
Grn 9. Another little berserk and another victim for my Suicide. Strange. It's unusual for kids to go berserk, usually they begin to cry 24/7 and die from dehydration. But it's Chamberdrums, the weirdest dwarf outpost ever, so I'm not surprised.
Grn 11. Oh, we've got another forgotten creature. A fire-breathing turkey with a shell... HOW?! How could Armok create such a weird creature?! He must have created the weed first.
Grn 22. Holy carp, this place is a crazy town. Almost everybeard is tantruming all the time, and many are stricken by melancholy or running naked through the fortress. Now it's sometimes difficult to distinguish a normal dwarf from the stark raving mad one because there are too little clothing per dwarf in the fortress.
The Tantrum Spiral. I've heard about this scourge of the fortresses. Now I'm gotta deal with the one myself. It seems like I shouldn't have quit smoking... It's a pity that almost no one smokes in the fortress. Weed is the best way to deal with all your problems. Alas, it's not time to escape the problems.
Grn 28. Today I saw that we have no broker. The previous one was stricken by melancholy and died somewhere in the dark corner. I placed Cyatica instead of him. Maybe it will help her go through her tragedies.
Slt 6. Migrants have arrived. Wait, oh shi~ One, two, three... eleven. And ONLY THREE OF THEM are adults!!! What the fuck do they think there in Mountainhomes?! We are NOT a fucking kindergarten!
Ah, never mind. You're welcome. Survive, newbeards!
Slt 17. Crap! It just started to get better...
Get me a gas mask please...
Slt 25. I can't find Spazbot nowhere.
And those melancholics. They are like time bombs. When things only start to calm down, another beard dies from thirst, causing a burst of tantrums. They make me angry.
All masons' workshops are producing coffins, but the things move too slow because masons are tantruming all the time. Poor Cyatica. She's got too many dead friends.
Fel 5. I've found Spazbot.
He must have suffocated with the rat weed smoke. I told him that rat stuff is too strong for beginners, but he wanted to keep calm. Now he
is calm. Farewell, my brother by weapon and weed.
Our population keeps decreasing. 166 beards, and still half of them are kids. TANTRUMING kids.
Fel 11. Goblins have arrived. It should distract baron Lizard who is unhappy about ignored mandates.
Poor goblins. They don't seem to understand something. Our beards done well, building a great moat and wall that protects Chamberdrums from the east. Since goblins can't fly, they can't reach us. But our bolts can reach them.
What a dumbass I am! I completely forgot about the trolls!
Fel 17. The siege was broken, but some beards have injuries, including Commander Nuckles. They'll make it, I believe. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to the gate in time to drive the goblins away. And still I have no axe. Need to tell somebeard to make me one...