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[Robot Parade Leader]

I feel very lightheaded and congested. The weird thing is, I can breathe just fine and I am not stuffed up. I almost feel like I'm drunk, but I swear I'm not.

I can walk alright, though perhaps a little slowly.

My arms don't feel like they are asleep, but they are slightly numb, I guess. They are slower to respond than usual. They don't have a pins and needles feeling, but they feel kind of soft and heavy. I seem to have a heightened sense of touch, or feeling I guess. I don't usually feel the computer keys, but I'm very conscious of them as I type this and the same thing happened when I ran my fingers through my hair. I don't know if that makes any sense.

For some reason it feels better if I let my mouth hang open a little bit (thankfully I don't have to be around people because it's embarrassing). I have a blank stare on my face and my neck doesn't seem to want to hold my head up straight. Rather, my neck can hold my head up straight, but it feels better to let it hang tilted.

I checked my head for any scrapes, cuts, bruises or anything all over and even in my hair. I didn't find anything. I can't even remember the last time I drank anything alcoholic.

I don't feel like I can do anything in this state, and it's only shown up fairly recently.

[gimlet]

If you haven't had a blow to the head recently, it sounds like a cold/virus.  (If you have had a blow to the head SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY).  You've really never had one of these before?  It's basically a non-coughing cold or flu.   Or it could be allergies - is there a lot of pollen around and does it get better inside?  It is allergy season in a lot of areas.   I've had some really awful symptoms like that from pollen too.   For pollen you MIGHT get some relief from antihistamines.   For a cold/virus, not much to do but rest, make sure you eat well, drink plenty of fluids, and wait for it to go away.  Oh, you're probably infectious too, congratulations - so be careful.   If it lasts more than a week or so it'd be a good idea to see a doctor.   Be careful just blowing it off, I've had em move down into my chest and that had me go from feeling "half-bad" to "knocked off my feet and coughing my lungs out".  I drink lots of hot liquids, that's probably a placebo but hey.  I'm not big on antihistamines/symptom suppressors for cold or flu - they just mask the symptoms and aren't really doing anything at all to help cure you.  Unless it's some symptom so bad I can't sleep, then I take the mildest one that will do the job.

Although if you want to scare yourself here's 100+ other things it could be, from "brain tumor" to "west nile virus" to "ricin poisoning": http://symptomchecker.webmd.com/multiple-symptoms?symptoms=lightheadedness|nasal-congestion&symptomids=141|497&locations=2|6

Actually even better, start from http://symptoms.webmd.com/default.htm#introView and put your symptoms in one by one.

[Bouchart]

It sounds like your spleen is tilted at an angle.  Do some cartwheels until it's back in alignment.

[Hubris Incalculable]

It sounds like your spleen is tilted at an angle.  Do some cartwheels until it's back in alignment.

In my experience, cartwheels tend to be a bit too violent, thus making them inaccurate as methods of spleen alignment. Try a handstand instead.

/old joke

In all seriousness, you'd be better off asking a medical professional rather than a bunch of nerds like us.

[DJ]

Did you eat some weird brownies by any chance?

[Neonivek]

So an intense full body malaise.

Though honestly to me it sounds a lot like sleepshock.

[Morrigi]

This is like.. how I feel right now. Although it may be because I missed my dose of meds yesterday.