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[scapheap]

The harvest ninja journeyed to the art gallery where she just walked in. She a ninja, a pubic place is child's play to hide in.

[Rolepgeek]

Hmmm. I have an idea.

Move away from the house. Find a pizza delivery place, hotwire a pizza delivery truck. Drive through the checkpoint. If the guards question me, I'll tell them I'm delivering pizza. Through sheer force of will, I will cause the guards to believe me, because I'm a ninja.

Also, I will have grabbed pizzas before I left. Because pizza is tasty. Mmmm, pizza.

Once inside the mansion, I'll deliver the pizza and ask if I could have the autograph of one of the girl's. Specifically, by getting them to sign the receipt. It has to be her, since she's the one who ordered the pizza. Again, ninja willpower will convince them I'm right.

If that doesn't work, leeave the door, but once no one is watching, ninja flip my way up into the windows. I'll formulate a new plan at that point.

[Thecard]

Crouching Snake ninja-crouches his way to the Thetown town zoo reptile house! He'd buy a net first, but ninjas don't need nets! He will dazzle the snake by jumping!

Snakes are impressed by jumping, right?

On the way, he contemplates the reason for the town of Thetown's glaringly generic name.

[LordBucket]

Ninja Terminator (Team Red)

I follow the most bruised and battered looking woman home using my ninja stealth skills.

You attempt to use your super ninja powers of observation to closely examine the women.

Feat: Identify bruised and battered looking woman. Difficulty: 4 (Surprisingly difficult. I'm sure there's potential for political commentary there.) Auto fail: Not in uniform, cannot use ninja abliities (anything that requires a skill check.) See GM comment.

Fortunately, they both get into the same dull blue station wagon, still babbling about Jane Fonda and Duran Duran.


Black Dragon (Team Black)

Let's go to a different part of town to hide and observe!

You leap from the lightpole and start running. Behind you, a large police officer bearing donuts exits the donut store to find out what the commotion is. Seeing you, his mouth open drops in shock and his promptly stuffs a donut in there.

Crisis averted.

You seek out another part of town and try to hide again. Clearly your mistake last time was hiding on top of a light pole. This time you hiding behind a newspaper box. This is the 80s, so you even know what that is. But for the benenfit of any time traveling ninjas from the future reading this, here's a picture:



Yes, people in the 80s read newspapers made of actual paper and buy them from vending machines. And ninjas hide behind them. It's like a symbiotic relationship.

Stealth Feat: Hide in a busy part of town at night while looking for people. Difficulty 3 (Same odds are before, it's an easy feat, but you're not the stelthiest ninja in the world.) 1d6 roll: 3 Success!

And now to look for bad guys.

Feat: Look for bad guys. Difficulty 3 (ninjas are awesome, so clearly they're not bad, so obviously the people you're looking for aren't ninjas, therefore they should be easy to spot. Difficulty 3: Roll: 2 Fail

Damn. Maybe stealth wasn't the best dump stat.

You briefly consider the implications of failing a perception test. Since you failed the check, does that mean that there's an old woman being mugged right now, possibly in plain sight, but you just can't see her? What if you'd passed the check? Is this a case of the observer effect creating reality, in which case you'd be causing old women to get mugged by the act of observing it? If so, does that mean you can improve the world and do good deeds simply by failing perception checks?

Thinking these thoughts, you feel very zen.


The Harvest Ninja (Team Blue)

The harvest ninja journeyed to the art gallery where she just walked in. She a ninja, a pubic place is child's play to hide in.

She's a ninja wearing civilian clothes, but travelling to the art gallery is easy enough. And walking right in is easy enough too. The curator greets you as you enter with the most limp-wristed handshake you've ever seen. It almost looks like a crane strike.

"Well, hello there. I just love your blouse! It totally matches your eyes. And is that your natural complexion! I would die to have skin like that. Do you have any idea how much moisturizer I go through? But enough about me. What can I do for you?"

He's clearly flaming. You're glad you're a girl or else he'd totally be hitting on you. You glance around the gallery. Looks like most of the displays are mostly neo-expressionist paintings.





Dragon's Doom (Team Red)

Move away from the house. Find a pizza delivery place, hotwire a pizza delivery truck.

You go to a pizza delivery place and look for a pizza delivery truck. As it turns out, in the 80s, pizza delivery was generally handled by high school students in their own personal cars, and they hadn't quite figured out yet that they could get free advertising by having their employees affix plastic ads to their cars while making deliveries.

As such, there is no pizza delivery truck. But you do find the car that the delivery boy uses.



It's a puke yellow Yugo 45. As you stand there admiring the craftsmanship (it menaces with spikes of cheetos) the delivery boy walks up with a stack of four pizzas in cardboard boxes. Seeing you he panics, drops the pizzas and runs. You catch them before it hits the ground then take his keys.

Item get:
 * 4 large pizzas
 * Yugo 45 automobile

Drive through the checkpoint. If the guards question me, I'll tell them I'm delivering pizza. Through sheer force of will, I will cause the guards to believe me, because I'm a ninja.

You drive to the Playboy Mansion and right up to the guard booth. Seeing a ninja drive up, the gaurd immediately radios for help.

"No, I'm a ninja pizza delivery boy. It's a new thing. Really."

The guard considers this. Certainly he's seen crazier things at the mansion, so it seems plausible enough. He radios in and asks if anyone ordered pizza.

They say no. He asks you to leave.


Crouching Snake (Team Black)

Crouching Snake ninja-crouches his way to the Thetown town zoo reptile house! He'd buy a net first, but ninjas don't need nets! He will dazzle the snake by jumping!

You consider ninja-crouching your way to the zoo, but you're not in uniform, so you decide to walk instead. (See GM comment.)

On the way, he contemplates the reason for the town of Thetown's glaringly generic name.

Townsville was already taken.

You arrive at the zoo. It's late, but it's still open.

[Funk]

Ninja Terminator
I jump in to the air and the blink of eye, gone is Jaguar Wong.
Standing is the Ninja Terminator, in his blood red ninja uniform,as the tails of his ninja headband fall he set of to follow them withhis ninja skills.

[FelixSparks]

Black Dragon

After thinking such Zen thoughts, I think it's time to keep a lookout again... Surely I'll find a lead if I keep this up.

[Thecard]

Crouching Snake

Crouching Snake realizes his most mundane appearance and swiftly switches out outfits!
He then goes ninja-snake-wrangling, because ninja.

[LordBucket]

Ninja Terminator (Team Red)

I jump in to the air and the blink of eye, gone is Jaguar Wong.
Standing is the Ninja Terminator, in his blood red ninja uniform,as the tails of his ninja headband fall he set of to follow them withhis ninja skills.

The two women start to close their car doors as you jump into the air and...que transformation sequence music!

"Anata wa-"

...oh, you're done already. Ninjas have very short transformation sequences. You wait for the two women to finish closing their doors. It's annoying how slow non-ninjas are. Finally they finish and you leap onto the roof of the car and hide in the ski rack.

Stealth Feat: Hide inside the ski rack. Difficulty 5 (The rack is black so you'll blend in, but it's kind of small and skis aren't really ninja-shaped.) 1d6 Roll: 6 success!

Doing an impressive impersonation of a pair of skis, you place your ear to the roof and listen in to the conversation inside.

"You know, I don't really like wearing so many socks. I know it's fashionable, but don't you think 4 pairs is too many?"

"I'm wearing 6 right now. I do 8 when I really want to feel sexy."

Hmm. Interesting. You hadn't realized that women wore multiple pairs of socks to get that look. You always thought they just wore really big socks. But this women's fashion conversation isn't helping you. Several minutes worth of fashion tips later, the station wagon pulls up to an unremarkable section of sidewalk leading to a residential area and the passenger gets out. She looks right at you and seems confused. Apparently she's never seen a pair of skis before.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you all the way home? It's really no trouble"

"No, thanks. I prefer to walk. Here's fine. I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"It's really no trouble."

"Thanks, Debbie. I'll see you next Tuesday."

The car door closes and the woman starts walking. The car starts to pull away.

Black Dragon (Team Black)

After thinking such Zen thoughts, I think it's time to keep a lookout again... Surely I'll find a lead if I keep this up.

You continue your vigil.

Perception Feat: Look for bad guys...again. Difficulty 2 (You've been looking for a while, so you've had practice. You should be pretty good at this by now.) 1d6 Roll: 3 Success!

A scream suddenly breaks out and you peer around from behind your newspaper box to see a young woman frantically holding onto her purse while a young thug tries to take it from her.

"Let go you creep!"

"Give it up lady."

"I said let go!"

She really doesn't want to give up her purse. After a few moments the thug gives up and tries to run, but the girl is having none of that. She grabs him by the shirt and pulls him into the path of the purse being swung with her other hand. He hits the ground hard and she holds the purse like a boxing glove and proceeds to pummel him with it.

"Help!" he cries, futilely holding up a hand trying to defend himself.

"No you don't! I paid good money for this purse!" *whack*

"I'm sorry!"

"You bet you're sorry!" *whack*

Eventually he crumples to the ground sobbing, and the woman lets up.

"Hmph. Serves you right, creep. You hurt my hand with that big ugly face of yours!"

She walks off in huff with her nose in the air. The thug slowly picks himself up off the ground, holding his face with one hand. Blood from his nose mixes with the tears streaming from his eyes, and he limps off.


Crouching Snake (Team Black)

Crouching Snake realizes his most mundane appearance and swiftly switches out outfits!
He then goes ninja-snake-wrangling, because ninja.

You change into ninja-mode and leap over the outside wall of the zoo, landing in a savannah-looking enclosure with lions.

Stealth Feat: Make it to the snake pit unnoticed. Difficulty: 3 (This is a zoo. Lots of trees and fences and things to hide behind.) 0d6 Roll: 0 Fail!

A young girl from outside the enclosure sees you and eagerly points you out.

"Mommy, look! There's a man in black with the lions! Can I go too? I ant to pet them!"

A tour guide responds, "Actually miss, that specimen right there is a ninjicus awesomicus. A rare breed of creature known for its ability to go unseen, navigate harsh terrain, and superior jumping ability. Why, I bet that one can easily jump 20 feet."

"Is he dangerous?" the girl's mother replies.

"Ordinarily yes, but we're perfectly safe. Sure, he can easily jump 20 feet but we're no more than 19 feet away. So don't worry. He'll jump right over us."

Meanwhile, it seems one of the lions has taken an interest in you.

[FelixSparks]

Black Dragon

.... I almost feel bad for that poor guy... Almost. I'll shadow him to his hideout. If he notices me, it's time to SCARE THE BEJEEBUS OUT OF HIM. And also their boss's location, that too.

[Thecard]

Crouching Snake

Oh, I see where you were confused. When Crouching Snake goes to the snake pit, he goes in style. Because any ol' fool with a cardboard box or beaglepuss can sneak around. A true ninja LEAPS!

Crouching Snake shall leap to the snake pit with justice, at careful intervals of 20 feet, as the laws of nature demand!
On the way, he shall stop to pat the small child on the head, because this is a family friendly Super 80s Glam-Ninja Assault Squad of Doom.

[Funk]

Ninja Terminator
Useing his supreme mastery of stealth the Ninja Terminator dives silently from the ski rack in the shadows and begins to follow the woman on foot.

[scapheap]

"I'll think I'll just look around for now, thank you."
Look around for a staff-only door and ninja change and ninja-sneak

[Rolepgeek]

Hmmm. Unexpected. Leave. Time to come in the ninja way.

Return car to the pizza kid first. Good manners. Take one pizza in compensation. Eat it in contemplation. Go to the back of the house, quiet-like ninja-like, and flip over the fence. Roll beneath a camera while it's looking the wrong way, then climb up the sides of the house, onto the roof. There will surely be a sky-light. Open it silent-like, drop into the room. Unless it has people in it. If it has people in it, be eve more sneaky and climb on the ceiling to an exit, avoiding letting anyone see me. Then, I will figure out where the Playgirl is. Probably by saying that I'm a new 'friend' and that she likes it when I dress this way, and I have no idea why she's into that(to a maid, of course). But that she forgot to tell me what room she's in.

[LordBucket]

Black Dragon (Team Black)

.... I almost feel bad for that poor guy... Almost. I'll shadow him to his hideout. If he notices me, it's time to SCARE THE BEJEEBUS OUT OF HIM. And also their boss's location, that too.

Stealth Feat Follow him. Difficulty 2. (Easy. He's leaving a trail of blood as he walks, and crying like he's doing it's not like he's going to notice you.) 1d6 roll: 3 Success!

You follow your quarry through the streets of downtown TheTown. You pass a dry cleaner. A bakery. A massage parlor. Eventually he leads you through a dark alley and you hear him stop crying while he straightens his shirt and tries to puff out his chest. Exhaling deeply, he knocks on a door, and you hear a wooden viewhole slide open.

"What's the password."

"Bill, it's me dude. Let me in."

"Jack, you know the rules. I can't let you in unless you say the password. "

*sigh* "Fine. Ninja. There, now let me in."

The doors opens and he goes inside.

Crouching Snake (Team Black)

Crouching Snake shall leap to the snake pit with justice, at careful intervals of 20 feet, as the laws of nature demand!
On the way, he shall stop to pat the small child on the head, because this is a family friendly Super 80s Glam-Ninja Assault Squad of Doom.

Stealth Feat Be awesome. Difficulty 4 (This is moderately difficult.) 3d6 roll: 11 Success!

You step onto a nearby boulder and kick off to propel yourself into the air, start doing a flip, patting the nice girl on her head while upside down, then finish the flip and land right behind her in a run.

"See?" the tour guide says. "Landed right behind us. We were in no danger."

"Mommy!" the girl cries happily. "He touched me! A ninja actually touched me!"

"Yes, dear. I saw. But you'll still need to wash your hair tonight."

"Awww....mom."

(The 80s were a more innocent time.)

You continue your manouvers, following the signs that lead to the reptile area. Occassionally tourists take pictures of you in your natural habitat as you hop, until eventually you reach the snake pits. Most of the snakes are fairly small. 8-10 foot boas, mostly. Then you see a sign that catches your attention.

"World's largest snake"

Following the path that it points towards you come to a 30 foot wide by 20 feet deep stone pit dug into the ground. And there's the snake.



It looks about two feet across and 40 feet long.

Ninja Terminator (Team Red)

Useing his supreme mastery of stealth the Ninja Terminator dives silently from the ski rack in the shadows and begins to follow the woman on foot.

Stealth feat Follow the woman. Difficulty 3. 1d6 roll 4 Success!

As the woman turns to leave, you leap from the ski rack and dash behind a street sign, The car pulls away and she begins walking down the sidewalk, with you in silent pursuit. After a few minutes you notice that the quality of the neighborhood seems to be going down. You're definitely heading to a sleazier part of TheTown.

The paved sidewalk gradually gives way to dirt and the white picket fences and nicely manicured lawns give way to

Before long the woman walks up to one house in particular. Pausing to grab several pieces of mail from her mailbox, she walks up to the door, opens it, and walks inside.


The Harvest Ninja (Team Blue)

"I'll think I'll just look around for now, thank you."
Look around for a staff-only door and ninja change and ninja-sneak

You thank the curator and browse. It doesn't take long to find the entrance to the back room. You step inside and change.

Mode: In uniform

Looking around...

Perception feat Difficulty 3. 1d6 roll: 1 Fail

...you find a few empty shipping crates, loose packing material, a filing cabinet (What are computers? This is the 80s.) and a small employee louge area. You check through the files in the cabinet but they appear to be mostly shipping invoices, and the occasional bill or payment record. Items listed are very reasonable-sounding. You find listings for things like "painting of Dove by John B Painter" and "ceramic statue of a puppy by Susan R Sculptress" but nothing like "Illegal drugs from Drug Dealer Q McEvil."

Dragon's Doom (Team Red)

Return car to the pizza kid first. Good manners. Take one pizza in compensation. Eat it in contemplation. Go to the back of the house, quiet-like ninja-like, and flip over the fence. Roll beneath a camera while it's looking the wrong way, then climb up the sides of the house, onto the roof. There will surely be a sky-light. Open it silent-like, drop into the room. Unless it has people in it. If it has people in it, be eve more sneaky and climb on the ceiling to an exit, avoiding letting anyone see me. Then, I will figure out where the Playgirl is. Probably by saying that I'm a new 'friend' and that she likes it when I dress this way, and I have no idea why she's into that(to a maid, of course). But that she forgot to tell me what room she's in.

You catch up to the kid. This is easy to do, since he runs slower than bullets.

"Smile, you're on candid camera!"

His jaw goes slack and he blinks a couple times before breaking down and laughing.

"Where's the camera?"

"Right there!" you point off into the bushes. He waves at the bushes.

"Wow, you really got me."

"Yep, we do that. Anyway, here are you things. See you later!"

You leave his keys and all but one of the pizzas and dash off towards your destination, eating as you go and contemplating turtles. When you arrive...

Movement feat Bypass Playboy Mansion outer perimeter. Difficulty 8. (Mansion belonging to a world-famous multi-millionaire with gate, guards, cameras...this is not trivial.) 2d6 roll: 10 Success!

You run around to one side of the house away from the street and ninja-flip over the fence. Landing in a damp grass field, you use your ninja skills to change your scent so the dogs don't smell you, and quickly make your way to the roof. Once there, you drop down through a skylight.Apparently there's a party going on tonight. Grabbing a drink from a passing waiter you act like you belong and mingle with the party goers while trying to locate Miss Allen.

"Excuse me," someone says.

"Yes?" you reply. It's one of the party goers. Some celebrity, probably, but you don't recognize him.

"How do you drink with that mask on?"

You look at the champagne glass. You actually hadn't thought about that. But, you are a ninja.

"Like this." You toss the champagne from the glass into the air above you, the tilt back your head and reposition the hole in your ninja mask from your eyes to your mouth, and catch all the falling liquid in your mouth. You're a ninja. Alcohol doesn't affect you unless you want it to.

Cheers and applause ripple through the crowd, suitably impressed with your performance. You bow and ask if anyone's seen Audry, and you're told that she was recently seen swimming in the pool. You hand off your glass to a waiter, grab a new one and head out back. There, you see her. She's in the jacuzzi on Hugh Heffner's left arm pretending to laugh at some joke involving a giraffe and a lost wrench.

[Funk]

Ninja Terminator
useing my ninja strength i leap thru a window and attack the abusive boyfriend, not forgetting my ninja code so he get one free swing at me.