Ensomden's Journal
Day 1
I don't remember much, to be frank. I do remember waking with a cool breeze blowing. It was gentle, but the bump in the road we hit after that wasn't. I banged my head pretty hard, and that may have contributed to my lack of immediate memory. What else?... Oh, right. Should you be reading this, it's quite possible I've died in battle(courageously, I may add), or you are snooping in my room. Should the latter be true, be assured I WILL find you. I was convicted. What of, you may ask inquisitively. Injustice is the keyword associated with my conviction. I did commit theft, that is true, but is hardly a terrible crime; surely a fine is ample reparations? No. I was also convicted of kidnapping. They wronged me. She wanted to be with me. We were going to live together in the wilderness, make a home together, and love each other until literally death do us part. Were ever there a pair closer than we? Hardly imaginable. But that is the past. You see, her snobbish parents refused to allow us to be together. When we ran off, her parents sent the guard after us. We hid for some time, but they found us eventually. Such was inevitable. I'd only hoped for more time together...
When the guard found us, they immediately chained me and then treated her like a babe rescued from the goblin's dark clutches. They tortured me, disbelief in their eyes that the son of a renowned militia commander could commit such a felony. They were wrong. Did she even explain, she who I had loved so, and she me, whose name I do not even recall for the pain of betrayal is so overwhelming I fear myself entering a fit of rage? Yes, betrayal. She realized rather quickly she'd have to go back to those narcissistic parents of hers, and in a moment of self-preservation, abandoned me and sobbed to them, rather than face the punishment her parents could possibly think for her. She made me out to be a criminal. Do I truly blame her? I feared her parents before I had even known her. They were monsters and put my father to shame as far as discipline goes. Honestly, I feared for her. But did that mean I condoned her betrayal? Certainly not. That which could have been my salvation turned out to be my damnation. We were brought back after the soldiers had their fill of torture. My adopted father abandoned me, for a crime so great shamed our family, and he disassociated with me under the pretense that I was never truly his son. My betrayer whose name I have never since spoke- nay, even thought, was more than happy to deliver me into the hands of the justices, who sentenced me with hardly a second thought. My sentence was horrific, (at the time, since I hardly feel fear anymore, to be specific anything anymore) I was to be put in the caverns alone, with no armor, weapons, even my clothes were stripped. No food, no water. They sealed it after me, and utter darkness ensued.
At first I panicked. Certainly I would die! What with no means of ensuring my survival, my death would be arduously slow, and to say nothing of the pain. However, I remind you I was raised by a military man. What was panic turned into determination, I liken to tinder being set ablaze. I raced around, collecting some simple plants I managed to identify as edible. I could hear, though not see, the underground river, and I had two necessities filled. I had began to think of a way to create some temporary light using the towercaps underground when I heard a terrifying noise. One dwarfs hear and flee from, even those who had willingly fought the Forgotten Beasts, the Titans, Dragons even, whose fire could melt a mountain. I heard the hiss and the whistle of air as the webs flew, and I instinctively rolled behind the aforementioned towercap, which shuddered as the weight of the webs hit it. I felt the panic begin again, but this time I immediately worked through it. The giant cave spiders were something of myth to dwarves who'd never seen them; something they'd never want to see. I reached up and grabbed a sturdy branch while I felt the spider crawl slowly towards me, the ground tremoring in fear. I heaved and the branch snapped, perfectly how I wanted it to. A very jagged end, perfect for spearing with. I crawled up into the tree, careful to avoid the webs and making as little sound as possible. As the spider suddenly lunged forward around the tree to catch me, I jumped down right as he passed me, and landed square on his back. It realized I was in a position of advantage, and began writhing to get me free. Certainly it's undulations would have launched me in any direction which would've ended me, if not for the branch which served it's purpose. Ramming the branch into the back of the spider, it gave me a handhold to keep on the monster, and his writhing only opened the wound further. Despite the injury's small size in comparation to his size, it grew larger and he decided I wasn't worth the effort. With a great final heave, he threw me and the branch away(despite causing further injury to himself) and then crawled off. I was in disbelief that I had lived, and had suddenly decided a being of great power was watching over me. I was unsure why as of this time, however. As I went back to beginning to think of a way to create light, after I had calmed down that I was alive, I realized light was appearing, unrelated to my idea or efforts. They were breaking back down the wall, and a small squad came in, equipped with crossbows, and one with a sword. He immediately reshackled me without a word and dragged me back outside.
I was thrown before the queen in a jumbled, nude heap. I'd never felt so shamed in my life. The queen seemed to have no pity however, as she told me that I was not suitable to just be fed to spiders. A new penal colony was being established, called Steelhold, and I was to be a part of it as far as a guard went. While they missed my narrow escape with the spider, they saw his ichor on the end of the stick and assumed what I did. She also shared I was originally to be hauler, as punishment for my alleged deed, but as I'd proven myself more useful, that my... talents, as she put it, would be used to benefit the colony.
I have respect for the queen, though I was slightly outraged at this, that I was nearly killed, just to be told that I would be more useful in a different position of danger, this time working for them. However, this was a new lease on life. And we left to the colony the following day by wagon, in the stores were a weapon or two and no armor that I knew of. And so I came to be a part of Steelhold.
I'd never been a particularly virtuous character. My moral compass has always been pointing somewhere southwest. I feel greed, anger, and many other negative emotions. But yet, I do have some good things about me. I am humble, and I am diligent, and obedient. Further, I am loyal to those who hold my best interests. I did not think the queen planned me any harm when she sent me here, rather that I would be useful in furthering the dwarven society. I only hope I can succeed. I only hope I can clean the slate, and in time bring honor back to my name, and to my family, that my father might forgive me. And that she may regret her decision.