I've witnessed some things in IRC based RP groups that to this day leave me
astounded at the level of immaturity and general ridiculousness that can be bred there. Try not to take it personally, after 3-4 of these ending up that way I'm pretty convinced this is par for the course.
If you can't join a group in person, which I have no experience with but would
expect to fare better than an internet group in general, starting a forum game of some sort here or on another RP board is probably your best bet. I've never participated in a PbP game here, but I've looked at a few and they seem to do alright. Established game systems seem to do the best, but I've seen a few homebrewed things that looked like they did alright.
One option you might not have considered is running a community fortress of some sort. It's not the same thing as playing in a traditional RPG, but it's better than nothing. I'm sure I just got lucky with the first one I ran, but it actually ended up becoming a freeform RP that spawned an IRC group of its own. The subject matter (ponies) helped I'm sure, but Spearbreakers is an example of an actual dwarf fort that produced a good bit of RPing (from what I gathered glancing through the thread). Both of my forts ended up in various levels of IRC nuclear warfare at various points of course...
Because I might find an RP group with no shipping.
I don't think those groups exist, sorry.
That matches my experience too. There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.