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Author Topic: Pigeons & Prejudice: Definitely deceased.  (Read 23211 times)

monk12

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #90 on: October 12, 2013, 11:45:23 pm »

((I have saved the reputation of pigeonkind! Now to ruin it, for sure...))

Lady Katherine Montagu dabbed daintily at her beak with a lacy kerchief, removing the last traces of that unfortunate bit of fish. "Oh, Miss Villar, I do hope you will forgive me for taking it upon myself to discipline your serving men. It was most rude of me to rob you of the privilege of beating the commoner yourself."

Lady Katherine turned earnestly to Mr. Pinkerton-Smythe, speaking quickly. "And I do hope you will forgive me as well, Mr. Pinkerton-Smythe, for it was certainly rude of me to further interrupt our lovely dance; it is just that my passions sometimes run wild, especially when provoked by presumptuous peasants such as that poor fellow. Oh, do say you'll forgive me?" she finished, imploringly batting her beautiful ladypigeon eyes in a manner that was calculated to make even the dandiest of men feel a stirring in their most private areas (which, of course, is their hair, or so the Montagu family tutors had instructed.)

Errol

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #91 on: October 13, 2013, 04:34:05 am »

Find a few other ladypigeons. Engage in smearing Mr. Arcy's reputation, and clean my beautiful wings.
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notquitethere

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #92 on: October 13, 2013, 05:03:11 am »

Charlotte, pleased with her dance, quickly longs for another one and examines the room for any suitable and available dancing partner.
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Tiruin

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #93 on: October 13, 2013, 09:42:30 am »

Alessa looked on at the man who turned away from her. Maybe he needed a bit of time to think. Or maybe whatever assumption he had would be subverted by time, itself?

She had too much on her mind, but had one thing clear. She had to, at least, ensure that this man had something memorable other than an embarrassing moment. It just wouldn't do to let him sulk off.

"Mr Arbury! Mr Arbury!" the little pigeon called, "Wait! Please wait!"

Catch up to yonder humanoid and divulge mine apologies and open my mind to his mellow heart.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.2
« Reply #94 on: October 13, 2013, 10:25:06 am »

Mr Pinkerton-Smythe likes you more!
Mr Arbury likes you slightly more!
Mr Arcy likes you slightly more!
Miss Arcy likes you more!
Miss Feckerby likes you more!
Miss Villar likes you slightly more!
Everyone likes pigeons slightly more!

((No typo? Geez, nice place.))

Alessa looked on at the man who turned away from her. Maybe he needed a bit of time to think. Or maybe whatever assumption he had would be subverted by time, itself?

She had too much on her mind, but had one thing clear. She had to, at least, ensure that this man had something memorable other than an embarrassing moment. It just wouldn't do to let him sulk off.

"Mr Arbury! Mr Arbury!" the little pigeon called, "Wait! Please wait!"

Catch up to yonder humanoid and divulge mine apologies and open my mind to his mellow heart.
((Watch her roll a 6.))
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monk12

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.2
« Reply #95 on: October 13, 2013, 08:17:15 pm »

Mr Pinkerton-Smythe likes you more!
Mr Arbury likes you slightly more!
Mr Arcy likes you slightly more!
Miss Arcy likes you more!
Miss Feckerby likes you more!
Miss Villar likes you slightly more!
Everyone likes pigeons slightly more!

((No typo? Geez, nice place.))

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I should court everyone on that list.

Every.

Single.

Person.

I'm gonna go beyond "Happy Marriage" and land in "OMNI MARRIAGE"

Errol

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.2
« Reply #96 on: October 15, 2013, 12:57:31 am »

Mr Pinkerton-Smythe likes you more!
Mr Arbury likes you slightly more!
Mr Arcy likes you slightly more!
Miss Arcy likes you more!
Miss Feckerby likes you more!
Miss Villar likes you slightly more!
Everyone likes pigeons slightly more!

((No typo? Geez, nice place.))

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I should court everyone on that list.

Every.

Single.

Person.

I'm gonna go beyond "Happy Marriage" and land in "OMNI MARRIAGE"

Aw yeah, the Harem Ending. Also known as the best possible ending.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.2
« Reply #97 on: October 15, 2013, 03:25:40 am »

Aw yeah, the Harem Ending. Also known as the best possible ending.

Also known as the hardest ending.
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WillowLuman

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #98 on: October 15, 2013, 05:20:36 pm »

Most unsuccessful attempts end in bodily dismemberment and an American fry kitchen.
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monk12

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.2
« Reply #99 on: October 15, 2013, 07:57:31 pm »

Aw yeah, the Harem Ending. Also known as the best possible ending.

Also known as the hardest ending.

You used the word "hardest" and not the word "impossible."

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

lawastooshort

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Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.4
« Reply #100 on: October 16, 2013, 01:53:33 pm »

Chapter One – The First of Many Balls. Turn Four.

Catch up to yonder humanoid and divulge mine apologies and open my mind to his mellow heart.

"Mr Arbury! Mr Arbury!" called the little dainty ladypigeon Miss Thain, amidst the assembled gentlefolk and pigeons. She clearly had not entirely thought this shocking impertinence through, but a ladypigeon’s body is small, and her blood does not have a great voyage to make to complete a thoroughly engiddying rush to the head.

"Wait! Please wait!"

Mr Arbury did wait. He waited until he had reached the edge of the ballroom and the distracting cover of a particularly ornate chair – one of many in Miss Villar’s renowned ornate chair collection – and then he turned. He did not look terribly pleased to see the young ladypigeon rush at him so with so many to witness what could be a most ungratifying scene, pretty as she was.

”I say, Miss Thain,” he said. ”This is most irregular.”

His expression softened, as if Miss Alessa’s naivety had begotten the faint beginnings of fondness in his heart, but his words made clear to the poor girl, and to several people nearby, that her actions were, indeed, most irregular.

Oh, bother! cursed Miss Alessa to herself, with a gentle sigh, before realising the vulgarity of her inaudible words and blushing with shame.

Must one express oneself with only eyebrows and chins in this awful human world? How can this race possibly persist?

Her thoughts drifted off into confusion and scarlet blushing as she stood by the chair. She noticed that it was rather ornate, and moderately agreeable to the eye, but to her heart it was but ashes.

Charlotte, pleased with her dance, quickly longs for another one and examines the room for any suitable and available dancing partner.

Gazing ardently about the ballroom, with the warmth of her previous dance heating the large pit of cockles in the depths of her heart, Miss Charlotte Fantail sought out another suitor to smite with her not inconsiderable beauty. Examining the room with as much handsomeness as she could muster, her eyes soon met those of Mr Arcy, who seemed to be looking for a fanciful pleasure to distract him from the recent crushing disappointment of dancing with Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton.

He looked upon Miss Charlotte; she looked upon Mr Arcy.

He felt a deep stirring at her immense beauty; she felt the beginnings of romance blossom in the seat of her tiny intellect. She blushed as he strode manfully and purposefully through the crowd of dancing richfolk, scattering them about and knocking them aside like a herd of stampeding wildebeest through a well-ordered field of English corn, although this image did not come to the young ladypigeon, for she was ignorant to the ways of wildebeest, and even to their existence.

He shouldered through the melee, and bowed before Miss Charlotte, who began to breathe heavily with extreme emotion, accentuating the rather restricting effect of her pigeoncorset.

”I say, Miss Fantail,” he said. ”I… Would you do me the honour of a dance?”

Mr Arcy likes you slightly more!

Miss Villar likes you slightly less!

Miss Feckerby likes you slightly less!

Miss Arcy likes you slightly less!

imploringly batting her beautiful ladypigeon eyes

"Oh, Miss Villar, I do hope you will forgive me for taking it upon myself to discipline your serving men. It was most rude of me to rob you of the privilege of beating the commoner yourself."

”Lady Katherine,” replied Miss Villar, ”Fret not. I shall give the commoner the honour of an extra beating myself. Please, should another of these fiends disgrace me by misplacing a canapé, do not restrain yourself a second time: beat him within an inch of his life without a second thought.”

"Oh, Miss Villar, you are so delightfully understanding," cooed Lady Montagu. The well-bred ladypigeon then turned to the gentleman admiring her form and verve and fish-wielding technique.

"And I do hope you will forgive me as well, Mr. Pinkerton-Smythe, for it was certainly rude of me to further interrupt our lovely dance; it is just that my passions sometimes run wild, especially when provoked by presumptuous peasants such as that poor fellow. Oh, do say you'll forgive me?"

”I say, Lady Montagu,” he said. ”I…  I say. One can only dream of witnessing such a fine peasant-beating; it must be decidedly wondrous to perform one oneself. If you would accept, I would gladly dance with you a second time, although if you find my request most presuming then I would, of course, understand.”

Mr Pinkerton-Smythe likes you slightly more!

Miss Villar likes you slightly more!

Find a few other ladypigeons. Engage in smearing Mr. Arcy's reputation, and clean my beautiful wings.

It was, in most of the gathered ballgoers’ estimation, at approximately this time that a loud screeching commotion broke out in the centre of the ballroom. Miss Fantail was rather thoroughly occupied in breathing quite heavily and heaving in the direction of Mr Arcy, who was gazing upon her resplendent beauty with wonder and joy and several quivering hairs when suddenly Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton tiptoed up behind the young ladypigeon, and loudly proclaimed in her ear that Mr Arcy, if Miss Fantail should ever have the displeasure of meeting him, was a villainous cad: it was true indeed that he possessed a considerable estate in the north of the country and a wealth statistic of over three a year, but it was equally true that the weasel consorted with farm animals in the night, and was fond of going outside – to perform who knows what manner of repulsive and probably blasphemous actions, all of which would be bound to pervert a young ladypigeon’s innocence merely by being in the same room as the wretched creature that carried them out; and Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton began to screech and cry with increasing vigor, entirely ignorant of, or ignoring, the victim of her slander’s being right beside her, looking on with ever-reddening face, and ever more burning anger expressing itself in a mild - no! a moderate - shuffling of his left foot.

She continued to describe the hideous-faced gentleman to Miss Fantail, accusing him of violent onanism, and other such biblical sins; of disliking tea and even of liking the French: at this, finally, he could take no more, and Mr Arcy struck Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton a cruel blow to the chin, sending her flying backwards at great speed, whereupon she crashed into Miss Feckerby, more than slightly crushing one of the folds of her gown.

Realising what he had just done, yet still enraged to the point of incoherence, he stormed towards the exit of the room. He turned, and denounced his now sworn enemy vehemently.

”I say,” he said. ”I… I…”

So saying, Mr Arcy walked out of Miss Villar’s summer mansion and into the nearby wood, and shot himself.

Miss Arcy likes you less!

Mr Pinkerton-Smyth likes pigeons slightly less!

Mr Arbury likes pigeons slightly less!

Miss Arcy likes pigeons slightly less!

Miss Villar likes pigeons slightly less!

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.4
« Reply #101 on: October 16, 2013, 02:15:08 pm »

She continued to describe the hideous-faced gentleman to Miss Fantail, accusing him of violent onanism, and other such biblical sins; of disliking tea and even of liking the French...

Oh my goodness.  Violent onanism, you say?  I won't even mention the horror that is liking the French.
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monk12

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.3
« Reply #102 on: October 16, 2013, 04:03:44 pm »

((I suppose I can cross Mr. Arcy off of my seduction list...))

Lady Katherine Montagu's heart pitterpattered when Mr. Pinkerton-Smythe offered another dance; first it went pit, and then it went pat, and then it went pit again. Surely, she thought, if she had one more chance she could dance so well as to redeem both herself and every ladypigeon at the ball!

It was at this point that the dark, ugly corner of her mind which she spent so much time ignoring began screaming too loudly to ignore. "Stop!" it cried in a haggard and weary voice, "Stop pretending you can dance! Don't you remember that time when Cousin Phillip came to the Montagu family estate, which as you know is called Whytemore, and you danced so poorly in the yard that you knocked a torch into the garden shed, causing Cousin Phillip to become engulfed in flames such that he hurled himself into the Glowing Green Stream and latter succumbed to the dreaded wasting sickness common to those waters? Entice your suitors on further, do not squander your gains so irresponsibly!"

Lady Montagu was forced to admit, privately, to her secret self, that perhaps the peasant was not wholly to blame for her unfortunate tumble across the entire ballroom floor. But how to decline Mr. Pinkerton-Smythe's gracious invitation in such a way as to suggest "Yes, but," instead of "No, and furthermore-" ?

Lady Katherine swayed unsteadily, visibly wilting in the sight of the assembled gentry. "Oh my goodness, but it seems the exertion of that peasant-beating has quite overcome me! I fear I may faint!" she cried, before succumbing to a timely fit of the vapours. Elegantly, of course.

notquitethere

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.4
« Reply #103 on: October 16, 2013, 04:14:55 pm »

With the rather promising Mr Arcy apparently deceased, the evening has rather taken a turn for the worst. Miss Catherine Fantail attempts to liven the mood.

"Oh you all simply must hear me play!" she coos in what she hopes is an inviting tone before sitting down at the pianoforte to play a jolly waltz.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2013, 09:04:35 am by notquitethere »
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Tiruin

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Re: Pigeons and Prejudice: Chapter 1.4
« Reply #104 on: October 19, 2013, 04:22:01 am »

Quote
So saying, Mr Arcy walked out of Miss Villar’s summer mansion and into the nearby wood, and shot himself.
o_o
((What just happened.))

With the rather promising Mr Arbury apparently deceased, the evening has rather taken a turn for the worst. Miss Catherine Fantail attempts to liven the mood.

"Oh you all simply must hear me play!" she coos in what she hopes is an inviting tone before sitting down at the pianoforte to play a jolly waltz.
((Erm. Arbury?!))



...Get up to Mr."Regular" Arbury and explain myself!

Eyebrows or not, I have wings! I don't need those hairs above my eyes to convey my expressions when I have these! Or a chin.
...
What is a chin to a human if not but a symbol of how big their mouths are? Strange.


Still feeling the blushiness on her cheeks and the shame on her shoulders, Miss Thain steeled herself and put on her best :I face as she decided to enact the one thing she knew best. To tell the darn truth--if this was shameful, then she'd leave the ball in tears.

"Mr Arbury! I'm sorry for what I've done. Please come back! You don't dance well, but that doesn't matter! You do know how to apologize!"

...Did I say it right?
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