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[lawastooshort]

Belgium, 2260AD.

A man – we see him from the back, hiding both his face and the terrorist he is running towards, so we can’t tell that he is Matt Damon, FutureBelgian, played by 10ebbor10 – runs across a semi-apocalyptic field, somewhere near Brussels.

”Nooooooo!” he cries, ”Nooooooo! They sent me back too late! Baldo, you can’t do it, you can’t do it, Baldo, I’ll kill you, I swear it!”

”It’s too late, Matt Damon, it’s too late! The timer is set, the bomb is gonna blow, you, Brussels, and all of Western Freedom are gonna die! You’re all dooooomed!”

”Nooooooooo!”

The camera circles round from behind the FutureBelgian in a spiral: first we see his running face, then we see his deadly foe, and then the camera zooms in on the bomb. A hydrothermonuclearbomb. We see Matt Damon fiddling with something on his wrist. A timewatch.

There’s an enormous explosion, and a flash, and at the same time Matt Damon, FutureBelgian, vanishes.


Belgium, 1815AD.

Battle rages on the fields that will become known as the site of the Disaster of Waterloo. Matt Damon, FutureBelgian, suddenly appears in the centre of a British infantry square. Milliseconds later there is an enormous explosion, and the biggest detonation that will ever be known to man destroys most of Western Europe.


Cut to green fields somewhere in England, the present day, 1825AD. Ian McKellen’s voice.

Since the Great Death ten years ago, many strange things have happened, and although the British Empire retains her rightful place at the top of civilisation’s hierarchy, changes are afoot. No one knows why, but over the last ten years strange… mutations have affected Europe’s population of pigeons. Why pigeons? Why not cows? Even Britain’s greatest scientists have not found out the answer to this question. And now – now, across England, walk pigeons the size of men. Pigeons, in some cases, the size of ponies; in others, the size of geese. And those the size of men have, by some cruel twist of fate, learnt to think, to speak, to live like humans.

And now they want the same things we humans do.

All the same things…


Cut to a crowded ballroom in England, the present day, 1825AD. A waltz plays. As the dancers spin, it becomes apparent – horrifyingly apparent – that some of the dancers… are pigeons.

PIGEONS AND PREJUDICE: A DATING SIM RTD

In Which You Must Romance and Marry a Post-Apocalyptic Regency Era Human

Spoiler: What it is? (click to show/hide)

It is a dating sim rtd. More specifically, it is a dating sim rtd in which you play as one of the many human-sized ladypigeons roaming semi-post-apocalyptic England in 1825AD.

Spoiler: Human-sized ladypigeons? (click to show/hide)

Yes. In becoming the first ever human to send a nuclear explosion through time, Matt Damon, FutureBelgian, wiped out most of Western Europe and caused mass mutations of pigeons throughout Great Britain in 1815AD, thereby changing the course of history. By 1825AD pigeons were on the rise, though not entirely accepted by many humans. Great Britain itself has not been entirely apocalypsed, but the great drifting wind of radioactive waste and ensuing nuclear winter has certainly had its effects. Human-sized ladypigeons being the most obvious. There are also human-sized gentlepigeons, but they are not the focus of this game.

Spoiler: What is the aim? (click to show/hide)

The aim is to successfully receive a marriage proposal (or, gasp, to successfully propose marriage) and therefore to complete the game. There are three possible endings for each player: Failure, Traditional Regency Era Marriage, Happy Marriage. Death is also an additional option as dying of things like consumption was quite popular at the time, as were attacks by anti-pigeon hate-mobs.

Spoiler: How does it work? (click to show/hide)

There are, somewhere in the middle of England, four eligible, handsome and procedurally generated bachelors, each with their own likes, dislikes and personality and each looking for a beautiful bride over the course of the summer of 1825. Your aim is to romance one, and to beat off the competition.

This is done by means of various interactions with them and the other characters in the area aimed at increasing your standing in their eyes, and also at increasing their acceptance of equality for pigeons.

The game is split into phases. Each week (there are 8 in the post-apocalyptic summer season) starts, of course, on a Saturday; Saturday is, of course, the day of Balls, by which, of course, I mean dances.

Attendance isn’t obligatory, but you’d look like a bit of a peasant if you declined an invite. They are held at varying locations, and consist of enough turns to get the action over and done with. You know, talk to people, have a dance, that kind of thing. Each PC will have the chance to hold a Ball at their country house, and PC Balls and NPC Balls will alternate.

Between Saturday and the next Saturday comes the week. During the week you may schedule any combination of two of: a ladylike activity; accepting a visit.

Ladylike activities can have various effects; generally you might attempt them in order to increase a stat. You long for the days of acceptance when they will finally be called ladypigeonlike activities.

Unfortunately it wouldn’t do for ladies, pigeons or otherwise, to go round gallivanting about at the houses of gentlemen, so you cannot visit gentlemen: you must accept or refuse a visit from a neighbour – who may or may not be of your choice, or even of your choice of gender: you are not the only eligible would-be brides in the area.

Many things can increase or decrease your standing with the various bachelors.

Spoiler: How can I play? (click to show/hide)

By submitting a character sheet like this one:

Name: Remember that you are in England, 1825AD. In fact, try to remember this at all times.
Likes: List two things you like.
Dislikes: List one thing you dislike
Stats: Distribute 8 stat points amongst the following stats. 0 in a stat gives a -1 penalty. 1 gives no penalty or bonus. 3 gives a +1 bonus. 6 gives a +2 bonus. Interaction choices may be more or less available to your character depending on stats, and NPCs’ opinions of you will differ and grow dependent on how much they learn of you. Stats can both increase and decrease during the game. It is likely, if you do a single activity each week, and succeed in it, that you can acquire around 6 stat points during the course of the game.

• Handsomeness: How good looking you are.
• Money: How wealthy and/or landed you and your family are. Doesn't quite work like the others, in that it has a direct relationship with your wealth, rather than being linked to having 3 points.
• Dancing: How smooth your waltz moves are.
• Sense: Very roughly, this corresponds to your willpower and ability to behave as someone looking to get along in human society might.
• Sensitivity: How likely you are to successfully gauge others’ opinions of you. And, occasionally, suffer fits of ladylike hysteria.
• Stamina: Determines how much energy you have. Energy can be restored by resting, and if you have negative energy everything will become harder. Doesn't quite work like the others, in that it has a direct relationship with your energy, rather than being linked to having 3 points. All activities take TEN energy.

There is a hidden stat that you will have with every NPC you meet: the likeometer, which is a measure of how much they like you from -20 to 20. This is affected by your actions and interactions and obviously affects their actions and interactions with you. You can try to perceive this likeometer reading when meeting people, and sometimes you may be told of changes to a person's likeometer.

There is another hidden stat that all NPCs will have which will affect their interactions with you: the pigeonometer, which is a measure of how much they accept pigeons in human society, again from -20 to 20. This is affected by the actions and interactions of all the pigeons they come into contact with.

You will notice there is no “Wit” or “Charisma” stat – this is because you will be expected to competently roleplay such situations where this stat might otherwise be required.

Bio: Any further details you care to give. They’re likely to make writing your grand narrative easier for me, and getting into the game easier for you. If you’d like any help with the bio, in terms of background, then you can 1/ check out the in-depth backstory I’ve already gone to great lengths to provide above; 2/ deduce the last decade of history and make you own; or 3/ PM me. I’d include eye colour and that kind of thing too if you feel like it.

The last part of your character sheet will be a randomly assigned number from 1-4 – this will be the order in which you will hold your Ball.

There will be no more than four players active at any one time. These four players will be chosen by my assessing the quality of the character sheet. Bear in mind that a dating sim is RP heavy – or at least based on interactions with other characters; bear in mind also that you will have to be able to make your pigeon speak in convincing ladylike nineteenth century English.

Spoiler: What are the general rules? (click to show/hide)

Standard RtD roll results will be used, but with the use of (2d6)/2 to minimise extreme results, with bonuses and penalties then applied as per circumstance and stats. Natural one and sixes apply. Many rolls will be hidden as seeing bonuses or penalties may reveal things about NPCs that you wouldn't know.

Four players at a time.

Bold your actions or choices.

Colour your speech.

If you can’t decide upon a unique colour for your speech in a friendly and cooperative way then I will assign colours alphabetically. It also has to be an easily readable colour.

I will strongly diswelcome anything that is not appropriate: this is a family game.

Spoiler: What are ladylike activities and what do they do? (click to show/hide)

Many of them are:

• Accountancy: This is terribly tedious and may affect both your Stamina and Sensibility negatively; however it can positively alter your Money and Sense.
• Beating a Peasant: This may positively affect your Stamina and may increase your standing with those of a low sensitivity.
• Dancing Practice: This may positively affect your Dancing.
• Going Outside: This may positively affect your Stamina and may increase your standing with those of a high sensitivity.
• Reading: This can positively affect your Sense.
• Resting: This can restore your energy meter.
• The Arts: This can positively affect your Sensitivity.

All of the above may well affect your standing with various characters based on their likes, dislikes, and actions. All except resting will reduce your energy. Negative energy grants a -1 penalty to everything except resting. You will notice that there is not an activity which can improve your handsomeness.

Spoiler: FAQ (click to show/hide)

Can I play a male pigeon?
No.
Did 10ebbor10 accept the role of Matt Damon, FutureBelgian?
Yes.
Will this work or last?
I really don't know. It is moderately experimental.
Do you have any acknowledgements?
Yes. Thank you to monk12 for the pigeon images. And thank you to both the makers and the let's player of the two games I have used as source material. PM me if you don't already have the further details of who these are. I should also acknowledge choose your own adventure style games, as this may be more like those than a violent action packed RPG. Also thank you to the couple of people who have helped me with developing the idea.

Answers to some very sensible questions regarding ladylike activities.

Any other FAQs will be added here.

[lawastooshort]

Spoiler: Ladypigeon 1, Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton The Deceased (click to show/hide)

Name: Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton
Likes: Lady Rosanne certainly has a healthy fondness for money, and is a cultured pigeon, so she greatly enjoys going to concerts. It is one of the few wastes of money she allows herself.
Dislikes: On the other hand, Lady Rosanne has a certain... sense for the stench of poverty and peasantliness. She would absolutely never socialize with upstart nobility and low-class peons.
Stats:

• Handsomeness: 3
• Money: 0
• Dancing: 1
• Sense: 0
• Sensitivity: 1
• Stamina: 3

Bio: Born to a working class family impoverished nobility, Lady Rosanne has, throughout her life, attempted to restore the status that is her birthright, clearly, the birthright of the Cripeton family (there are some extremely legitimate family trees reaching back five centuries in her attic). But since actually working for this purpose is terribly unladylike, this ladypigeon has resolved to charm and marry a rich and handsome nobleman, so noble that there is no doubt at all about his nobility. And, well, this better happened before the actual owners of the estate she was living in came back...

Spoiler: Ladypigeon 2, Lady Katherine Montagu (click to show/hide)

Name: Lady Katherine Montagu
Likes: Truly, there is no greater calling for a man than to serve the British Empire in the capacity of an officer in the Royal Navy, and no greater duty for a woman than to tend his estate while he is away; that is to say, Lady Montagu likes a man in uniform. Ideally, this estate would be somewhere in the country, for there are few pleasures in life greater than cavorting on a swing with the finest of company.
Dislikes: Swimming. Why, if the merciful Lord our God had intended for proper British pigeon or man to swim, he would have created us with flippers and gills! By that metric, He seems to have changed His mind about the Frenchmen who now possess such semiaquatic traits following the Disaster of Waterloo, but the citizens of the British Empire are best served to conquer the surf through marvels of ingenuity and engineering.
Stats: Distribute 8 stat points amongst the following stats.

• Handsomeness: 3
• Money: 1
• Dancing: 1
• Sense: 1
• Sensitivity: 2
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Lady Katherine Montagu is the only daughter of the Montagu family line, the third child of Lord Robert Montagu and Lady Anne Montagu. Her oldest brother (and the heir apparent to the Montagu estate) currently serves in the Royal Navy patrolling the shores of glowing, cursed France, while her older sister and younger brother both tragically passed away at a young age, taken by the wasting sickness that claims so many who cavort in the Glowing Green Stream which passes through the Montagu estate (and seems to have become an even more verdant green in the wake of the Disaster of Waterloo.) Katherine was never given to such sport, preferring to demurely stroll through the woods and heath, dreaming, as all young ladypigeons do, of her eventual marriage.

Spoiler: Ladypigeon 3, Miss Charlotte Fantail (click to show/hide)

Name: Miss Charlotte Fantail
Likes: Blessed with nimble forefeathers, Miss Charlotte loves to play the pianoforte, and though her older sisters think her silly, she has an abiding fondness for bonnets.
Dislikes: There is nothing, however, more tedious than playing cards.
Stats:

• Handsomeness: 6
• Money: 0
• Dancing: 2
• Sense: 0
• Sensitivity: 0
• Stamina: 1
• Pianoforte: 2

Bio: Miss Charlotte Fantail is the youngest of three daughters, born to a moderate estate (previously half-ruined and abandoned to pigeons and now owned legally since shortly after the Great Death). Her elder sisters were both married off in the last few years and it is Charlotte's firmest hope to follow them in securing matrimony (as her estate will belong to her wicked cousin on her parent's demise— a vicious gentlemandove called Manderly). She is a very pretty ladypidgeon but rather silly and of uncertain prospects in life.

Spoiler: Ladypigeon 4, Miss Alessa Thain (click to show/hide)

Name: Alessa Thain
Likes: Given her aptitude, Alessa loves music-basically that of the flute variety and anyone who plays or has an interest in it--relating to how dainty and beautiful the sound of wind, and flight, is. The skies are out of her reach though.

In terms of personality, a person who is genuinely sincere and not afraid to be himself (or possibly herself?)--more of the prim and proper type, attracts this little pigeon's heart. In a physical sense, it means those who can easily trust their intuition, and sense how good the other person is. Someone to understand, per se.
Dislikes: Though as far as personality goes, Alessa cannot abide with those who have rich and highly endowed egos. Those who judge early rather than late, and see quite the person instead of the essence of the person. In a material sense, this pertains to those that are snobbish, and overly dress and pamper themselves
Stats: Distribute 8 stat points amongst the following stats.

• Handsomeness: 3
• Money: 0
• Dancing: 0
• Sense: 2
• Sensitivity: 3
• Stamina: 1

Bio: The only daughter of the Thain family, Alessa was to be said a gift from heaven for this middleclass flock, given her traits that would attract any eye--a white coat from head to tail, and a faint tinge of mottled silver on her wings. Being said, she wasn't spared the privilege of being pampered, but had to aid her family as best as she can-her prize being the experience and knowledge from honest to goodness work.

In a sense, she was what would be termed and discriminated: a peasant. She couldn't dance well, mostly 'flopping about' with her feathers and tail, nor were her feet as adapt in movement compared to the other flightless birds. She wasn't rich, nor did she have the amenities of those who had money, but knew how to improvise with what monochromatic wear and life she had, having been taught independence by her family at a young age, as well as having discipline ingrained in her memory--she wasn't spared the rod when she did wrong.

But through all that, she knew one thing, and how to perform it quite well. The basis of society; communication. Whether rich or poor, she could relate with them--for those who cared enough to speak to her, anyway--and rather did well at social occasions, loving the thrill and feel of being with others.

Now, however, is her coming of age. Give or take a few years post-adulthood, her parents are optimistic about her future and only wish to see her progress the family line. They were sure she was ready, given all their work to support her.

Whether it would be seen, is for fate to tell.

Spoiler: Ladypigeon 5, Dame Diane De Oiseau (click to show/hide)

Name: Dame Diane De Oiseau
Likes: Diane is something of a bibliophile-she enjoys turn of the century adventure novels, her favorites currently being about Lady Daringpidgeon the 3rds epical adventures into the 'dark continent' of bold explorers, ladypigeon eating dinosaurs and savage spear wielding tigermen. She's also been known to enjoy fancy parasols-surely, the greatest parasols come from Paris, naturally.
Dislikes: Diane is not fond of the rain-and any bad weather whatsoever. It vexes her greatly, ruining her carefully applied habit. She prefers indoors functions whenever possible, having moved to England recently. Where it rains quite alot.
Stats:

• Handsomeness:2
• Money: 2
• Dancing:
• Sense: 2
• Sensitivity: 1
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Dame Diane is the eldest daughter of the venerable and obscenely rich Oiseau family-with three younger sisters, she's always have been expected to set a good example. Up to this point, she has not done so well. A number of questionable business pursuits has labeled her something of a troublemaker among her peers-when she digs into the family funds, the creditors can be heard popping wine corks from Orlean to Brest. Thus, she's been sent on 'holiday' for an unspecified length of time-unfortunately, Diane is quite young and unaware of the greater complexities of this. She merely thinks she's going on an adventure...given a choice between her countries traditional enemies, Germany and Britain, she chose to somewhat surreptitiously fly across the channel from mighty France-bringing her not inconsiderable family name and funding to bear in ensnaring a proper trophy husband, whom she intends to educate properly before moving back home. These Brits are not unhandsome, but they could use some color and joie de vivre, oiu?

Waitlist:
Lady Alexandria Seedington Antebellum
Miss Amelie de Saint-Just

[Errol]

Reserved. Yes, it's pointless. I warned you.

(I get that you played Hatoful Boyfriend at some point in the recent past?)

Name: Lady Rosanne Meyerschmidt-Cripeton
Likes: Lady Rosanne certainly has a healthy fondness for money, and is a cultured pigeon, so she greatly enjoys going to concerts. It is one of the few wastes of money she allows herself.
Dislikes: On the other hand, Lady Rosanne has a certain... sense for the stench of poverty and peasantliness. She would absolutely never socialize with upstart nobility and low-class peons.
Stats:

• Handsomeness: 3
• Money: 0
• Dancing: 1
• Sense: 0
• Sensitivity: 1
• Stamina: 3

Bio: Born to a working class family impoverished nobility, Lady Rosanne has, throughout her life, attempted to restore the status that is her birthright, clearly, the birthright of the Cripeton family (there are some extremely legitimate family trees reaching back five centuries in her attic). But since actually working for this purpose is terribly unladylike, this ladypigeon has resolved to charm and marry a rich and handsome nobleman, so noble that there is no doubt at all about his nobility. And, well, this better happened before the actual owners of the estate she was living in came back...

[Toaster]

Oh my goodness.

[Greenstarfanatic]

JEGUS. WHAT. I...Okay.

Name: Lady Alexandria Seedington Antebellum
Likes: Croquet is considered a marvellous sport throughout her family, and she grew up playing it at an early age. However, she prefers ballroom dancing much more, taking lessons for ages, hopefully leading up to dancing with her husband at a grand wedding.
Dislikes: Candles. Absolutely dreadful they are. And an absolute hazard to have around, especially with how MARVELLOUS her wings are! She would hate to singe her darling feathers...
Stats:

• Handsomeness: 1
• Money: 1
• Dancing: 3
• Sense: 1
• Sensitivity: 1
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Lady Seedington grew up in  an orphanage, unfortunately, as her parents, a pair of low-wealth commonfolk she'd rather not associate with, died during childbirth. Yes. Both of them. Anyway, she was ultimately adopted by the rather rich couple of Duke Charles Antebellum and Lady Anne Antebellum IV. She grew up living rather lavishly, but was a rather active young bird, taking lessons in piano, violin, and ballroom dancing, getting rather good at all three. But now the time has come, and she has begun searching for a mate, with her parents looking forwards to having young grandbirds in the near future.

[Helgoland]

PTW, seems hilarious.

[GreatWyrmGold]

PTPAL

[monk12]

Name: Lady Katherine Montagu
Likes: Truly, there is no greater calling for a man than to serve the British Empire in the capacity of an officer in the Royal Navy, and no greater duty for a woman than to tend his estate while he is away; that is to say, Lady Montagu likes a man in uniform. Ideally, this estate would be somewhere in the country, for there are few pleasures in life greater than cavorting on a swing with the finest of company.
Dislikes: Swimming. Why, if the merciful Lord our God had intended for proper British pigeon or man to swim, he would have created us with flippers and gills! By that metric, He seems to have changed His mind about the Frenchmen who now possess such semiaquatic traits following the Disaster of Waterloo, but the citizens of the British Empire are best served to conquer the surf through marvels of ingenuity and engineering.
Stats: Distribute 8 stat points amongst the following stats.

• Handsomeness: 3
• Money: 1
• Dancing: 0
• Sense: 1
• Sensitivity: 2
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Lady Katherine Montagu is the only daughter of the Montagu family line, the third child of Lord Robert Montagu and Lady Anne Montagu. Her oldest brother (and the heir apparent to the Montagu estate) currently serves in the Royal Navy patrolling the shores of glowing, cursed France, while her older sister and younger brother both tragically passed away at a young age, taken by the wasting sickness that claims so many who cavort in the Glowing Green Stream which passes through the Montagu estate (and seems to have become an even more verdant green in the wake of the Disaster of Waterloo.) Katherine was never given to such sport, preferring to demurely stroll through the woods and heath, dreaming, as all young ladypigeons do, of her eventual marriage.

[TCM]

RESERVING THE FUCK OUTTA THIS.

[lawastooshort]

Gsf and monk have rather fine character sheets, if anyone needs an example of how to go about it.

[scapheap]

I must watch this. Get popcorn

[Sheb]

Name:  Helen Darwin
Likes: Helen likes pigeon-adapted gowns that flatter her ladylike shape. Just because you're not a human doesn't mean you can't dress well. She also likes eating seeds. She knows a proper lady doesn't feast on raw corn kernels, so she hides for eating them.
Dislikes: She absolutely hates evening gloves. They look great, but a ladypigeon cannot wear them, being somewhat lacking in hand- and arm-related matters. It simply isn't fair that all her friends can look so good and not her!
Stats:

• Handsomeness:3
• Money:2
• Dancing:1
• Sense:1
• Sensitivity:0
• Stamina: 1

Bio:

Helen Darwin is descended from a long line of pigeon raised by Robert Darwin, a doctor and financier of Shrewsbury, Shropshire. She spent her early years living a pigeon's simple life, eating, flying and playing with Robert's son, Charles. Soon enough, her gentle dovish heart fell in love with the young Charles, and she did her best to help him in his pigeon breeding work. However, as the radioactive fallout from the Great Death started causing mutation, Charles went mad at seeing his careful breeding work destroyed. He who wanted to become a parson started publicly saying that God had gone mad, before committing suicide a dark day of October 1824.

Stricken by grief at the loss of his son, Robert decided to adopt Helen and to rise her as his daughter.

[notquitethere]

Pride and Prejudice is one of my favourite books. I can do this.

Name: Miss Charlotte Fantail
Likes: Blessed with nimble forefeathers, Miss Charlotte loves to play the pianoforte, and though her older sisters think her silly, she has an abiding fondness for bonnets.
Dislikes: There is nothing, however, more tedious than playing cards.
Stats:

• Handsomeness: 6
• Money: 0
• Dancing: 1
• Sense: 0
• Sensitivity: 0
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Miss Charlotte Fantail is the youngest of three daughters, born to a moderate estate (previously half-ruined and abandoned to pigeons and now owned legally since shortly after the Great Death). Her elder sisters were both married off in the last few years and it is Charlotte's firmest hope to follow them in securing matrimony (as her estate will belong to her wicked cousin on her parent's demise— a vicious gentlemandove called Manderly). She is a very pretty ladypidgeon but rather silly and of uncertain prospects in life.

[lawastooshort]

Lovely ladypigeons, everyone. Thank you. I think I will choose the best four at the weekend, as I have had some informal queries too and then there are the two above 'reserves'.

[Dwarmin]

So weird. :O

Name: Dame Diane De Oiseau
Likes: Diane is something of a bibliophile-she enjoys turn of the century adventure novels, her favorites currently being about Lady Daringpidgeon the 3rds epical adventures into the 'dark continent' of bold explorers, ladypigeon eating dinosaurs and savage spear wielding tigermen. She's also been known to enjoy fancy parasols-surely, the greatest parasols come from Paris, naturally.
Dislikes: Diane is not fond of the rain-and any bad weather whatsoever. It vexes her greatly, ruining her carefully applied habit. She prefers indoors functions whenever possible, having moved to England recently. Where it rains quite alot.
Stats:

• Handsomeness:2
• Money: 2
• Dancing:
• Sense: 2
• Sensitivity: 1
• Stamina: 1

Bio: Dame Diane is the eldest daughter of the venerable and obscenely rich Oiseau family-with three younger sisters, she's always have been expected to set a good example. Up to this point, she has not done so well. A number of questionable business pursuits has labeled her something of a troublemaker among her peers-when she digs into the family funds, the creditors can be heard popping wine corks from Orlean to Brest. Thus, she's been sent on 'holiday' for an unspecified length of time-unfortunately, Diane is quite young and unaware of the greater complexities of this. She merely thinks she's going on an adventure...given a choice between her countries traditional enemies, Germany and Britain, she chose to somewhat surreptitiously fly across the channel from mighty France-bringing her not inconsiderable family name and funding to bear in ensnaring a proper trophy husband, whom she intends to educate properly before moving back home. These Brits are not unhandsome, but they could use some color and joie de vivre, oiu?