Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Biag]

From the website:

In a bleak future where there are more criminals than citizens, one prison hopes to redress the balance with short doses of HARD time! Take your punishment like a man and try to endure the grueling regime of Southtown Correctional Facility. Create your own inmate from scratch and rub shoulders with up to 100 fellow convicts throughout the sprawling prison complex. With each passing day, every action taken and every word spoken will sculpt your own unique identity - as you attempt to juggle the physical and mental demands of prison life. You'll soon find that "reputation" is the only currency that matters in this world! Having one keeps you alive, but avoiding one keeps you sane. Which side of the fence will you fall on?

EDIT: Crap, I hit "POST" instead of "PREVIEW." Anyway, this game is, like I said, gloriously unfinished. The creator is pretty "out there," meaning he's an egomaniac with some weird ideas about Christianity. Most of his projects are identical in form, all 3D action games with lots of independent AI actors.

The beauty of Hard Time in particular is basically... well, the AIs form relationships with each other (and you) and run around trying to accomplish goals based on those relationships. Prisoners and wardens fight and make friends and the wardens are trying to enforce some kind of order but they're also helping out their friends in combat and then arresting them for being in combat in the first place and then before you know it you're cutting somebody's hand off with a scissors because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and he attacked you. It happened to me. Another example: someone came up and offered me an hour of bodyguarding for like $25. I said yes. And then I snatched the cigarette out of someone's mouth and smoked it while my bodyguard beat them up. And then later I forgot who my bodyguard was and attacked him. "Biag, what are you doing? I thought we were friends! I guess I was wrong," he said, as I SUPLEXED HIM INTO THE GROUND.

Oh yeah, did I mention there's a weird wrestling engine? There's a weird wrestling engine.

It's really hard to explain what makes this game fun, because it's terrible, but I've been playing it for like two hours. It's just a massive clusterfuck. Here's some footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_N3VDNS9Fo

And here's the website: http://www.mdickie.com/downloads.htm (or have a direct download)

Note: be careful if you install it! It'll try to give you toolbars. And read the instruction manual because the controls are terrible and never explained in-game.

[Aqizzar]

A bleak future with more criminals than citizens, where every prisoner gets their own private room, have free reign to beat the shit out of each other, are provided with all the materials needed to make firearms and opiates in their free time, regularly argue their way out of assault charges against the guards, and a murder sentence carries a penalty of like 90 days in jail.

For further information, see this informative Let's Play in the middle of a far more incredible MDickie game LP.

[Biag]

Yes. "The You Testament" is also a thing to behold. If informative isn't your thing, here's Chip Cheezum and General Ironicus's blind run.

[GobbieMarauder]

The beauty of Hard Time in particular is basically... well, the AIs form relationships with each other (and you) and run around trying to accomplish goals based on those relationships.

On paper. In practice, they just beat the snot out of each other constantly, and the game becomes the premier "trying to go about your daily life during a riot" simulator.

I once almost survived terrorism charges, but died arbitrarily with something like three days left. That's probably the worse part of this game - When you lose all your health, you don't necessarily die, but I have no idea what determines if you die or not. So you can take a bomb to the face (did I mention terrorist attacks?) and be fine, but some dude hits you with a push broom and it's curtains. Combined with the fact that the computer seems to have just as hard a time with the controls as you do and the aforementioned "all anyone ever does is punch each other" thing, death is always unexpected and usually had nothing to do with you.

[Eclectic Wizard]

I have always played the shit out of this when i was bored. It an awesome game.

I usually train up my strength so i can start crafting weapons and stuff, then i start doing ethnic cleansings for the hell of it.
Its getting busted in GTA: Prison life: The Sim

[itisnotlogical]

I've watched Chip and Ironicus play The You Testament before, but I never actually played any of MDickie's games (except the adventure games on Newgrounds where he played the bad guy).

Apparently the wrestling is from an earlier wrestling game he did that should also be on his website. From what I can tell, every project of his is some bizarre Frankenstein's monster made from the corpses of the previous.

Jesus Christ has any man been so punchable just from the sound of his voice alone?

[Tilla]

I've watched Chip and Ironicus play The You Testament before, but I never actually played any of MDickie's games (except the adventure games on Newgrounds where he played the bad guy).

Apparently the wrestling is from an earlier wrestling game he did that should also be on his website. From what I can tell, every project of his is some bizarre Frankenstein's monster made from the corpses of the previous.

Jesus Christ has any man been so punchable just from the sound of his voice alone?

Hey now, that's just the voice actor Edwyn Tiong, he's a pretty cool guy. The stuff he's reading is pretty insufferable though, and that is all Dickie.

[itisnotlogical]

I've watched Chip and Ironicus play The You Testament before, but I never actually played any of MDickie's games (except the adventure games on Newgrounds where he played the bad guy).

Apparently the wrestling is from an earlier wrestling game he did that should also be on his website. From what I can tell, every project of his is some bizarre Frankenstein's monster made from the corpses of the previous.

Jesus Christ has any man been so punchable just from the sound of his voice alone?

Hey now, that's just the voice actor Edwyn Tiong, he's a pretty cool guy. The stuff he's reading is pretty insufferable though, and that is all Dickie.

Ah, I was under the impression that that was the man himself reading.

[Labs]

Critikal did a pretty good LP. The game itself is fun as hell. It's horribly programmed and hurts to look at, but weirdly entertaining.

[Blaze]

Does the game still force itself to crash whenever you try to use the in-game "Exit Game" function?

[Silent_Thunder]

Does the game still force itself to crash whenever you try to use the in-game "Exit Game" function?

Wait do you mean it's one of those games where the exit function causes a CTD because it's just poorly coded, or do you mean it literally intentionally crashes itself instead of programming a shutdown function.

[Angel Of Death]

According to a friend of mine, MDickie once said he couldn't properly code an exit function, so he just made it CTD instead.

[scrdest]

Does the game still force itself to crash whenever you try to use the in-game "Exit Game" function?

Wait do you mean it's one of those games where the exit function causes a CTD because it's just poorly coded, or do you mean it literally intentionally crashes itself instead of programming a shutdown function.

That's Matt Dickie for you. Don't forget he is the best programmer in the world and the only reason he's not making new games because nothing can match up to the perfection of gems like this.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Gotta stop while you're ahead.

[Graknorke]

Ah, MDickie.
An interesting character to be sure.