Wow, I got something hilarious but useful on the first try
Testicles is able to take control of cold and bend it to its will. It likewise has mastered the ability to steal the appearance of its assailants and use it against them and it possesses the power to confuse the memories of an attacker. Testicles has a reputation for a terrific flexibility, but doing so drains its fame throughout the nation for one week. It also can transform its body into illusion and it has learned to change shape into a spider. Testicles brawls wielding a death-dealing knife made from fluid, however only while concentrating. Unfortunately, Testicles is deathly afraid of ninjas.
EDIT: OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER
Testicles battles opponents wielding a frightening pack of spikes. Additionally, it has the power to make weapons appear from nowhere and it has been known to copy the physical attributes of its antagonists, but only when concentrating. Testicles developed the talent to absorb the damage from starvation (WHUT) and redirect it toward a distant area, however only while performing a series of gestures. Also, it has the ability to teleport to hell using a terrific lizard (Naturally, a terrific goddamn hell lizard), but this power fades when it is knocked unconscious (Don't they all??). Testicles is able to read the memories of others, but it must speak words of power to do so. Tragically, Testicles becomes afflicted with Tourette's syndrome in the presence of adamantium.
EDITTOEDIT: OH GOD WTF IS WITH THIS WEAKNESS?
Testicles has the power to confuse the vision of an assailant. Additionally, it possesses the power to make duplicates of itself, but using this power makes it gigantic for ten minutes. Testicles wields a terrifying shield that also grants a spectacular capacity at avoiding attacks and it lords over a pattern of lions. Tragically, Testicles suffers from being completely incapable of ventriloquism.
EDITRELOADED: My character needs this power:
Testicles developed the talent to take control of aging and bend it to its will
EDITFORBESTONEYET:
Testicles has learned to skim the memories of others. Additionally, it has mastered the ability to force computers to tell the truth and it developed the talent to transform diamond into adamantium. Testicles lords over a cluster of grues and it wades into combat with a cruel rifle that can force adversaries to reveal their innermost secrets. It brawls using a cataclysmic horde of magic spells that also grants a wondrous vision, but this power only lasts ten minutes at a time. Testicles has inherited all of the powers and talents of a monkey. Tragically, Testicles struggles with being diseased.
Note: Sir, you have created an addict today. Are you proud of yourself?
EDIT: TESTICLES, BANE OF WOLVES AND ALL VARIATIONS THEREOF:
Testicles can fly faster than the speed of light. Additionally, it has an impressive skill at demolitions, however only in bright light. Testicles owns all of the powers and talents of a rabbit and it possesses the power to transform any werewolf into a lynx. It also has mastered the ability to create water out of thin air and it is protected from damage by resilient skin. Testicles has the power to become almost weightless and it has the power to force wolves into another plane of existence. Lamentably, Testicles is well-known for being diseased.
EDIT: HE CAN MAKE ANY ALIEN INTO A COMPUTER, THEN HE WILL BE UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH SAID COMPUTER:
Testicles has mastered the ability to transform any alien into a computer, but doing so makes it unable to smell for one minute. It has been known to become incorporeal and it can slide along ramps of dust. Testicles has been known to make duplicates of itself, however only against plastic. It likewise wades into combat using a razor-sharp lasso made from fluid and it has learned to take control of vacuum and bend it to its will, but this power fades when it is knocked unconscious. Testicles is able to read the memories of others and it has the power to sculpt and mold all titanium with a thought. Tragically, Testicles has a weakness of being woefully unskilled at computer use.
EDIT: YOU ONLY BECOME WEAK IN THE PRESENCE OF ANYTHING, TOTALLY NOT THAT BAD
Unfortunately, Testicles becomes weak in the presence of physical matter.
EDIT: HOW DO YOU EVEN...HOW DO YOU....WHUT?
has an astonishing massive subterranean lair, however doing so drains its intelligence for five minutes
EDIT: THIS ISN'T HIS WEAKNESS. THIS IS A POWER. THIS GUYS LIFE SUCKS:
developed the talent to force women to flee
EDIT: MILITARY TAKE NOTE, THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER:
Additionally, it carries an explosive rocket launcher made from glass
EIDT: HOLY SHIT THEY WENT THERE:
Shamefully, Testicles suffers from being kind of an asshole.
DITE: THIS WOULD CERTAINLY MAKE ME RAMBLE INCOHERENTLY
Testicles wades into combat with a toxic trained penguin that can force enemies to ramble incoherently
IETD: OK THIS ONES JUST HILARIOUS:
Testicles can tunnel through solid fluid. (OH LOOK HE CAN SWIM) Additionally, it lords over a collection of aliens and it has the ability to leap faster than the speed of sound. Testicles has been known to edit the memories of others and it has the power to cause its assailants to become weak. It also has learned to spin like a whirlwind and it is able to take control of children. (PEDO MAN!) Testicles possesses the power to make duplicates of itself. Terribly, Testicles is especially vulnerable to plastic-based attacks.
DIET: AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION MAN GO!:
Testicles has been known to absorb the damage from suffocation and redirect it against any antagonist in sight
IDET: WEREWOLVES MAN, FROM FUCKING ANNNNNYWHERE:
Testicles developed the talent to make werewolves appear from nowhere
EDIT: I PREDICT YOUR RACE WILL DIE!
Testicles is known for its astounding ability to predict the future, but only against a dinosaur.