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Author Topic: How do you kill dwarves?  (Read 1602 times)

Bogdanov

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How do you kill dwarves?
« on: January 18, 2008, 01:37:00 pm »

Hi everyone

I've been wondering, since i heard of the utility of killing nobles, how you guys do to kill annoying nobles, or in general, annoying dwarves...

The only way i've found to achieve this so far was to lock the dwarf up in a room until he dies of dehydration or starvation, which takes a while

I'm sure there are some quicker/more efficient/crueler  :D ways to do this...

Let's share assassination tactics  ;)

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Sofaspud

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2008, 01:42:00 pm »

Well, my latest fort has possibly the most effective method I've ever used.

Each nobles's room is rectangular (or if it's not then the only walkable space is -- meaning, the alcoves along the sides are filled with statues, for example).  Along one wall there is a drawbridge, which is raised before the noble moves in.

When I tire of the noble, I wait for him to enter his room, lock the door, and pull the lever.

Heh.

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valcon

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2008, 01:44:00 pm »

i usually take the easy route and wait for them to go to bed then lock their door and let them starve
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Jreengus

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2008, 02:03:00 pm »

I used a drawbridge over lava, sent my mayor on and retracted it
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Lazy_Perfectionist

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2008, 02:16:00 pm »

If they're just your typical annoying dwarf, I just tell them to go hunting. Unarmed. Unarmored. For tyrannosaurus.
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Maelstrom

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2008, 02:43:00 pm »

Impaling on spikes
Dropping in chasms
Dropping several levels down then crushing by drawbridge

About 30-40% of every migrant wave gets killed  :)
I hate soap makers, fish dissectors and other useless specialists  :)

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DJ

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2008, 02:43:00 pm »

If you want to kill a draftable dwarf, just station him on a bridge and flingify him, preferably into a magma vent. That, or put them into a locked room with a caged megabeast, and then release the monster.

[ January 18, 2008: Message edited by: DJ ]

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umiman

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2008, 03:04:00 pm »

I just flood their rooms. Simple and fun. It's also easier to explain to the Countesses about the need for sanitation systems in their rooms than to explain why there's a bridge or chasm there.

Troas

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2008, 03:50:00 pm »

Reserved for particularly annoying nobles:

Lock the door to the noble's bedroom.  Channel a hole in the floor above, and place a grate or bars over the noble's new "skylight".  Designate the opening as a pond, and let the bucket brigade deliver death by a thousand draughts.

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Eruonen

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2008, 05:01:00 pm »

Spikes placed in a noble's room, connected to a lever.
Retract. If you get fed up with the noble, lock him in his room, wait until he's not sleeping, and just standing in his room, and pull the lever.

[ January 18, 2008: Message edited by: Eruonen ]

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Lazy_Perfectionist

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2008, 11:34:00 pm »

Step 1: Capture dangerous animal/megabeast/kobolds/goblins/berserk trade liasons.

Step 2: Build Arena underneath noble's room.

Step 3: Dig channel(s) in noble's room, or between noble's quarters and booze. Cover with platinum hatch cover(s)/bridge. Link to lever.

Step 4: Lure noble over hatche(s)/bridge. Pull lever. Extra points if you can get the noble to be the one pulling the lever and somehow drop him/her self.

Step 5: Check that only caught dwarf is useless Dwarf.

Step 6: Starve wild beasts for extra edge.

Step 7: Release wild beasts into arena.

Step 8: Microwave popcorn

Step 9: Enjoy show

Step 10: Get noble monster back into cage.

Step 11: Forbid noble's corpse.

Step 12: Lower drawbridge in arena to eradicate noble's corpse. Wouldn't want to waste a perfectly good casket on a noble, would you?!

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Pickerel

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2008, 07:54:00 pm »

I too have been using a simple method relying on water to get rid of the dwarf.  I always make the nobels section a large area next to a cliff.  I put a floodgate between the room and the vast depths (usually closed), and another between the room and the usual dwarven walking cooridor (usually open, or he couldn;t get to his room ^.^).  Above all the rooms I have a reservoir which I fill from the river by another floodgate, no need to explain.  Each room is connected to this reservoir by a passage with a floodgate, usually closed.  Each of the three floodgates in each room are connected to one of two levers just outside the room.  The lower (on the screen) is always connected to the floodgate which protects the cooridor from getting flooded.  The middle (on the screen) is always to open the gate up above to let the water in.  The top (on the screen) is always to let the water out.  After all, it sucks to try to wait for the water to evaporate.  The levers are pulled bottom (close dwarf in the room, so halls don't flood) --> middle (let water in) --> wait until death (or if he can swim, middle again once room us all full, then wait) --> middle (if not already, to stop water flow from reservoir) --> top (letting water out).  Once the water is gone or very low, you can press the first lever again to open the room and retrieve the corpse with all it's goodies.  

I used to do things like have a back way to each room, with some machination like traps and such, and trap the dwarves forcing them to go the back way, but I kept getting other dwarves killed when traps reset before they could get corpses, or being unable to get the corpses because nobody could slay the creature in the room.  This is plain and simple, one death, no survivors, less then 15 minutes real time, maybe a day dwarven time, total, and you get a corpse.

And you set it up ahead of time when planning your nobles quarters.  May I refer you to the story of the Sword of Damocles.

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Impending Doom

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2008, 08:32:00 pm »

I am making a similar setup, but whith the intention of "flushing" the dwarf down the chasm. Does water still push dwarves?
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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2008, 09:14:00 pm »

It just knocked my dwarf off his screw pump backwards into the channel he was trying to empty (drowning him instantly) so yes, it does.

Now I need to empty it out completely to retreive his body.  :(

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Pickerel

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Re: How do you kill dwarves?
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2008, 09:44:00 pm »

While an equally valid (and even quicker) solution, how well the water pushes might depend too much on how large the room is compared to the entrance point of the water.  If the water spreads too much, a one-wide water entrance might not provide the force needed to push him, say, from the middle of the room to the 'éxit' out the back... I like your idea, quick and just get the corpse at the bottom of the cliff, but if it doesn't work at first, you may need to modify so that the connection to the reservoir (and the dumping into the room) is as wide as the room itself.  Also, once the dwarf is flooded in, it may be that the dwarf will not be pushed out the back door because water flow, once the room is entirely full, would be too little.  So if he got into a corner, he could survive (though inevitably he would drown).  To remedy this, I recommend making the back wall all floodgates too.  Thus you have a nice even flow from reservoir to the back of the cave which ensures pleanty of force at all points, no slower areas to get safely trapped into, to push the dwarf out no matter what.

I could be wrong, of course.  I haven't every used water to push dwarves around.  But water in the game works nicely like real water when considered in large quanities (low quantities do silly things sometimes, but no harm done, I figure it's probably statistical)... I will have to keep note of your findings as a makeshift trap for future use, please tell how it comes out.  I wonder if the speed of entrance depends on the pressure like in a real world setting.  If this is the case, then the pressure will be determined by the height between the surface of the reservoir and the bottom, independent, of course, of the path it follows, where it flows into the room, in which case if your rooms are a few down from the top of the cliff, you could get some serious pressure right away.  I will have to experiment with water dynamics a bit when I return to the US.  

If water pressure does have this property, a 'water cannon' consisting of a very high thin tower full of water (a... water tower? ^.^) would be able to push things around like nobody's business.  Combine with a floodgate and one of those step pannel triggers (forgot the name) and you have a powerful anti-foe weapon.  Add a second pannel that will turn it off when any water hits it, but place this at the edge, and you will have a rapid-fire water cannon triggered every time some creature tries to advance, shutting off once it has served it's purpose.  Add a water wheel in the river to power a pump to pump water up to the top level (avoiding the self-powered pump-waterwheel cheat, of course), and you have a self-reloading water cannon of instant death-by-falling off a massive cliff.

In other words, I like your idea.  A lot.

[ January 19, 2008: Message edited by: Pickerel ]

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