"Hey, whats his do?"
Attempt to fire my crossbow into the molasses river, preferably away from other people
"Shit, molasses."
CZA spots some dude in the distance, pointing something at the river. He recalls something his grandmother said to him when he was a young boy; "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Caucasians, but if you see a white boy pointing an electrified crossbow at a magical river that you happen to be in, you better do something about it.
Run at Dave and beat him until grandmomma's ghost is satisfied.
Head to the river. Nonchallantly. Also bash in CZA's head.
Ooops- missed my entrance. Sorry!
Systar looks around. Hmmm... crap. Why did this all seem oddly familiar, like a bad case of deja vu?
Well, only one thing to do.
Test out the blowgun on the nearest person. Head their way first if I need to get a better shot.
(Dave dex: 5+3)
(CZA dex: 4+2)
(Andrew dex: 1-1-2)
(Systar dex: 1+1)
(Dave aff: 2+3)
(CZA dex: 3+2)
(Dave dex: 1+3)
(CZA str: 2+3)
(Dave end: 4-3)
(Systar dex: 5+1)
(Dave end: 2-3)
(Andrew dex: 3-1)
(CZA dex: 5+2)
Dave points his crossbow at the molasses river and fires, sending an electrified bolt into the molasses river with a small splash. Unfortunately for him, molasses is an incredibly poor conductor, and it does absolutely nothing to stop CZA from clobbering him to the point of unconsciousness moments later. Systar
steals lands the killing blow though, firing a dart into Dave's throat and causing it to dissolve into some sort of fleshy liquid. And even though it took him a damned long time to cross the entire map, Andrew shows up in time to swing his mace at CZA, although he misses by a mile and nearly throws his shoulder out doing so.
(Systar luk: 3+1)
As Dave's body melts away to nothing, a pair of steel-toed boots fall in front of Systar. They seem to be pretty normal, except for the toes, which whir constantly like drill heads.
"OH SWEET MERCIFUL...NNNGH..."
PUNCH THE SHRUBBERY. GET OUT OF THERE. ATTEMPT TO CAST HEALING MAGIC, IT'S WHAT I'M BEST AT.
(Alena end: 4+1)
(Shrubbery str: 5)
(Alena str: 3-1-3)
(Alena end: 2+1)
Punching the shrubbery does nothing as it wraps around your entire body. However you aren't devoured by it... in fact, it seems to be healing you, winding itself into a new limb to replace the one that was blown off. You give this arm an experimental flex, and it seems to move quite well, even though it's slightly longer than your entire body. Sure, there's no way that something like this can possibly be without a cost, but considering how you were missing most of your upper body not twenty seconds ago, it's definitely an improvement.
Put on stilts.
If possible, shoot guy with knight and shotgun.
LOOTING: SUCCESFUL
TESTS COMPLETE, NEEDLESS VIOLENCE NO LONGER NECESSARY, BUT STILL HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
SHALL WE CONTINUE MURDERS?
Wait for Edgar's decision, help him with Walburga if it doesn't involve me being murdered.
"Shure, howabout that dude in the river?"
Point to the dude, head over there perhaps. Also say hello to AI companion of companion.
(Flimsy dex: 6+6+1)
(Scyrothe dex: 5+1)
(Walburga dex: 2+3)
(Flimsy dex: 2+6+1)
(Scyrothe dex: 3+1)
(Walburga dex: 3+3)
(Flimsy aff: 6+6)
(Scyrothe str: 2-2)
(Walburga str: 4+3)
(Edgar str: 6-1)
As Scyrothe and Edgar discuss targets, a black arrow with a spherical tip smashes into Scyrothe's back, opening a pulsing black gap in reality which sucks up everything nearby, including the two would-be treasure hunters and their loot.
(Flimsy luk: 6+6+6+1) Multikills man... You're becoming the next Osborn
In front of Flimsy now lies a small stone ring, with an eye-shaped gemstone on top. It's hard to tell what kind of gem it is though, since it changes colors rapidly, looking more like a strobelight than a jewel.
DAVE, SCYROTHE, AND EDGAR ARE DEAD! PARIAH SPAWNS AS PINK, GOOD LUCKY SPAWNS AS ORANGE, AND GALE SPAWNS AS PURPLE!(Gale luk: 3+3)
Gale's waiver becomes a small diamond-encrusted handgun. It's more than a little bit feminine looking, but hey, diamonds are diamonds.
(Lucky luk: 5+5)
Lucky' waiver twists itself into a young girl wearing a grey surgeon's mask and coat, the latter of which is a good size or two too large for her, reaching nearly to her feet.
"If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my... Hmm?"The girl's eyes snap open, and she looks at Lucky in confusion.
"Well, looks like I'm a case B after all. Cases C and A, my oath's today, Cases D and B, no oath for me. Welp, that means that I'm here to help deal with Eeeeviiiiiilll. Whoever Evil is. Wait a sec... you're not Evil, are you? Because if you are, then I've gotta stop you!"A collection of syringes and scalpels suddenly fly out of the coat's pockets and begin to orbit around the girl.
(Pariah luk: 2
+1+2) [
u]I forgot that you had +1 luk there...[/u]Dammit it was two points...Pariah's waiver becomes a box of crystalline throwing knives. They vibrate softly, and there seems to be a strange humming sound coming from them.
Red=Flimsy - Black hole bow, Pink diary, Gassous cloak, Shrubbery, Stilts, Stone ring-Fine
Orange=Lucky - Supersurgeon - Fine
Yellow=Systar - Blowgun, Drill-toed boots - Fine
White=CZA - Nothing - Covered in molasses
Purple=Gale - Diamond handgun - Fine
Brown=Andrew - Megamace - Fine
Pink=Pariah - Vibrating knives - Fine
Blue=Alena - Red mist tophat - Right arm is gigantic and made of plant
Author
Topic: Looter's Delight 2: I am the Lizard King (Read 36177 times)