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[Elephant Parade]

Use magic wand to summon giant goose.

As for what you should do, have us battle an army of poorly made robots.

[Wwolin]

"So this is real bullshit? Come on, I've been stuck inside of a pink minifridge filled with baby formula for the past 4 hours, and all that happens to me is I become a point on a graph? I've had worse happen at company Christmas parties! Speaking of which, I might as well see if I can get overtime hours here..."

"HEY, YOU THERE IN THE PURPLE SUIT! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY THIS GENTLY-USED MINIFRIDGE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH TASTY BABY FORMULA? LOOK, THE PINK EVEN GOES WELL WITH YOUR SUIT! IT'S A GREAT DEAL TOO, ONLY FORTY-TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY-EIGHT CENTS!"

Attempt to sell the fridge that I arrived in to purple-suit for $42.78
If sale is successful, record it as working overtime. I'm getting vacation hours for this shit.

[Thecard]

Aw, fuck it. I'm bored.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Skillpoints: 2
Name: The Card is Amazing and Really Handsome and Smart
Back story: Ich bin ein face-puncher.

Stats: I don't know what this is for.
Health: 10
Endurance: 0
Combat Ability:2
Persuasion: 0
BS Resistance: Negative a zillion.

Oh, and you have to say his full name. Otherwise it doesn't work.

Trust me.


Oh, he's also literally a giant tarot card. But with a face-punching fist. He also bunny-hops around.

I do hope I'm not too late to join the party.

[Greenstarfanatic]

EXPLOOOOOOSIOOOOOOONS!

"HEY PURPLE DUDE, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BADASS ENOUGH TO GIVE US A COMPLETELY BADASS QUEST TO GO AND BE BADASSES ON, BADASS?!"

[Elylthcyent]

Attempt to do an Unusual Thing that results in a Lesser The Being spawning under my control.

"Greetings,HMr.EPurple.LIPthink youMshouldEhave usEdoSThingsCthat resultAinPnoEspecific!consequence."

[HFS]

Summon a meteor. Throw it at someone.

"Perhaps you should silence these pitiful creatures?"

[GreatWyrmGold]

Convince the GM to have this game be run in an asylum.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. I'd have to pretend to be crazy, though."

Realize that I am crazy.

"You might be, but--"

To clarify: Have Arkin realize that he is crazy.

[mastahcheese]

Cry like a sissy.

Too lazy to think of a real action, and it seems funny so maybe the GM will think twice before killing me.

[Xantalos]

Begin charismatizing people.

[Scionox]

Take off and dodge anything that might or might not be coming my way. Then suggest that it be random quest/dungeon game.

[draco1234]

Look around, wondering if this is another of the witch's punishments.

[Krath]

Use VERY DARK MAGIC to summon forth one of the universe's great evils.

A game show host.

"We're going to play a game. In a dungeon. A dungeon asylum. WHILE METEORS FALL."

[stefmor90]

WORLD ROLL: 3/3

SHIT No magic system. Whatever, everyone gets fully successful infinite magic pools. Go blow someone up. Also comic sans is a wonderful font, we can all agree?
Elephant Parade
HP: 10/10

You summon a rather large goose. It looks at you menacingly since you don't actually have a magic wand. Sucks.
WWolin
Wilton Lowery
HP: 10/10
Persuasion: 2/7

"What was that?"

"I have this fridge. It has magically-"

"I BRING AN END TO MAGIC"

"What, no, buy my fridge."

"I fear no vile sorcery.

It appears the man in the purple suit does not approve of your product.

"Thy magic harms me not."

"I literally have no idea what's going on. Buy my fridge.

The man in the purple suit summons two gigantic energy-like blades that he can hold in his hands.

"FITE ME IRL FAGT"

"What."
Greenstarfanatic
MISTER TORGUE FLEXINGTON
HP: 1/10
BULLSHIT: 6/6

No Mr. Torgue, that's not okay.

I think I'll place you... here.

...

You are in a meadow. There are birds and happiness all over the place. You start to sweat.

"Wh-WHAT IS THIS ITS NOT EXPLOSIONS IT BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

You catch on fire for no apparent reason except I felt like it.

Wait... THERE'S NO DAMAGE SYSTEM YET DAMMIT

Uhm, well your HP is 1 now because fire hurts and stuff.
Elylthcyent
The Being
HP: 10/10

You summon some Lesser Demon thingy. It looks really angry and frowns at the purple man, despite this it still does absolutely nothing. The purple man currently is occupied with fighting it out with that Lowery guy. All you seem to be getting out of this interaction is the purple dude saying something about MAGIC SUX and FAGT, but not much else.
HFS
The Silent Watcher
HP: 0/10
BULLSHIT: 7/7

The giant meteor you summoned is actually a large meatball. You ignore this however, but as you search for someone to murder it with, it lands on your head and you die a whole lot.

THE SILENT WATCHER IS DEAD
GreatWyrmGold
Arkin
HP: 10/10
Persuasion: 3/6

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I need some coffee.

Anyways I can't do an asylum because you only rolled 3/6 persuasion and das not good enough or something.
mastahcheese
Cromwell Jackson
HP: 0/10
BULLSHIT: 6/6
Persuasion: -3/6

No, you're dead anyways.

CROMWELL JACKSON IS DEAD
Xantalos
HP: 10/10
Persuasion: 1/7

You try to talk to Cromwell Jackson's corpse. Instead you vomit all over yourself and Cromwell. Cromwell is sad and cries in a corner.
Scionox
Scionox
HP: 10/10
Persuasion: 5/6

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ADVENTURE GAME
YAYYYAY
YAYY YAY
draco1234
Draco
HP: 10/10

What, no, I'm the maker of this game, right?
Krath
Malik the Feared
HP: 10/10

You summoned the announcer dude. He's really evil and punches you in the face.
THE CARD IS AMAZING AND REALLY HANDSOME AND SMART DOES NOT SPAWN

THIS CHARACTER IS FUCKING TERRIBLE TRY HARDER

[Wwolin]

"Magic? No, I'm not about that reality bending bullshit, and the only thing remotely magical about this fridge is how goddamned delicious the baby-formula inside is. I would know; I've just spent the past few hours crammed inside of the thing. Now, you can either buy it for the incredibly low price of $42.78, or I can shove it down your throat and collect your goddamned insurance money. So what's it gonna be?"

Sell harder. If selling fails, pick up the fridge and swing like a madman at purple-suit.

[Thecard]

Yeah, but I got you to say it!