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[Rolan7]

"Damn, I'm in a mood for something vegan. Might as well bring my revolver fully loaded just in case."

Exactly.  They're hunting 

[EuchreJack]

Now then, how to explain why this is logical. Well a genetic monster can be immortal and not age, that makes sense, since it was genetically engineered and they probably made it so it doesn't age. As for tanks, they can be repaired and have parts replaced. Now as for a dog, well this is more problematic, in the real world, dogs have much shorter lifespans than people. However, I thought of an explanation for this! The dogs are genetically engineered too, by the crazy Eminent Scientists who work at the genetics lab, and are immortal, it's all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy. This also explains why the dogs are capable of talking and stuff like that, too. Genetically engineered, and all that. This game doesn't have magic in it. So, it was done using SCIENCE. Obviously making dogs that talk and can do things humans can do, this involved human DNA, so they are actually part human. And as for the immortality part, the DNA for that came from the experiments that produced the genetic monsters. It all makes perfect sense, the fact that this game has immortal dogs in it. (not really, though)

What a WISE answer.

Personally, I explain dogs in LCS like thus:
Dogs have always been able to talk, they just refuse to converse with those who are not Liberal enough.
Dogs only appear to have short lifespans because that is how the Conservative Menace wants us to think.  Dogs are actually immortal, but they generally leave their human "masters" after 20 years.  They then appear in kennels as younger dogs seeking adoption.  But dogs which have been freed from slavery to humanity...who have achieved a place of respect among humans...they can live FOREVER, as Dog Gods!   

"Damn, I'm in a mood for something vegan. Might as well bring my revolver fully loaded just in case."

Just in case you really hunger for meat? 

[Liberal Elitist]

Personally, I explain dogs in LCS like thus:
Dogs have always been able to talk, they just refuse to converse with those who are not Liberal enough.
Dogs only appear to have short lifespans because that is how the Conservative Menace wants us to think.  Dogs are actually immortal, but they generally leave their human "masters" after 20 years.  They then appear in kennels as younger dogs seeking adoption.  But dogs which have been freed from slavery to humanity...who have achieved a place of respect among humans...they can live FOREVER, as Dog Gods!   

Dog is God spelled backwards, I think you are onto something. Also, Natasha is "Ah, Satan" spelled backwards, if you take out the comma and space. And Santa is an anagram of Satan. Anyway, what this means is the arch-enemy of dogs is either some lady named Natasha or Santa Claus, I'm not sure which. Or maybe Santa and Natasha are the same person. Santa is actually a woman trapped in a man's body and goes by the name Natasha on online forums, she has gender identity issues. And also hates dogs. Which means Santa Natasha is the evil controller of cats. That was a duty previously held by Catman (from the TV show Perfect Hair Forever) but Catman was too lazy to fulfill his evil cat-controlling duties. Thus Santa Natasha is the leader of the evil feline establishment. Not sure whether cats are Liberal or Conservative, though. I watched some videos on YouTube by Barely Political (the folks behind "Obama Girl") that featured DemoCATs and RePUGlicans. In those videos the Democrats are all cats, and the Republicans aren't just dogs, they're pugs (a very pugly looking dog breed). And actually there have been public opinion surveys done, this is true, and it turns out that cat owners are more likely to be Democrats while dog owners are more likely to be Republicans, yes that's a real public opinion survey. Of course I don't fit into those results since I'm a liberal elitist yet I love dogs and hate cats. Also as a white male I am part of the demographic most likely to vote Republican yet I always vote Democrat, so I guess you can't really predict how someone will vote based on demographics. Anyway, back to dogs, I've encountered many dogs and the most docile, friendly, gentle ones that don't bark tend to be very large, while the most vicious ones that bark, bite, and act nasty tend to be very small. I am researching a technique to make small dogs be friendly, gentle, and not bark or bite, but I have not yet perfected this technique. My own dog, who is very small in size, is fairly friendly to people, very submissive, and never engages in any violence such as biting but she is quite unfriendly towards other dogs, not biting them mind you, but barking like mad and refusing to be friends with them even if they are very friendly towards her. I have tried to get my dog to be friendly towards other dogs but nothing seems to work. If I hold her up in midair and let the other dog sniff her, then the other dog usually thinks of her as a friend, and she doesn't bark when she is being held up in midair by me, but she is all wiggly and as soon as I set her down again she runs off to a safe distance and resumes barking at the other dog in a hostile manner. At least she doesn't bite. Anyway, I need to perform further experiments, I am trying to develop a dog that is small, portable, cute, cuddly, friendly, submissive, and sociable. But some of these seem to be mutually exclusive according to my research... especially being small and being sociable, I never encounter any small dogs that are sociable with other dogs, only large dogs behave that way. So if I can't change a dog's behavior, perhaps I can develop a technique to change its size... giving a small dog lots of dog treats ought to increase its size and therefore make it more friendly and sociable. My research is at a standstill and if anyone else here is a mad scientist like me I'd appreciate some ideas.

I have considered cross-breeding dogs with cats as another possible research opportunity, although apparently their species are too distantly related for this to be capable of producing offspring, so I would have to genetically engineer a hybrid mammal with half dog DNA and half cat DNA in order to produce such a chimera. The reasons for producing a dog-cat hybrid are obvious: some people prefer dogs as pets while other people prefer cats, because dogs are better at some things (obeying commands, being loyal, guarding against intruders) while cats are better at others (avoiding being run over by traffic, hunting vermin, jumping up really high). The genetically engineered dog-cat hybrid would combine the best traits of both species while eliminating the traits people don't like, and it would also have a longer lifespan than either dogs or cats due to hybrid vigor, and it would be hypoallergenic. Also I'd throw in some human DNA too: the DNA to have vocal cords capable of speech, a brain smart enough to think in words and use logic and remember lots of stuff, and of course the DNA to have a lifespan of around 80 years, along with the DNA to have opposable thumbs so these creatures would be able to hold and use tools such as pens, pencils, screwdrivers, kitchen utensils, etc. And they'd have some eagle DNA, to have excellent vision. And fish DNA, so they'd have gills and be able to breathe underwater (not just any fish, but sharks, since sharks can't get cancer). And bat DNA, so they could fly. And worm DNA, so they could regrow lost body parts. And cheetah DNA, to make them move really fast. And lightning bug DNA, so they'd be able to glow in the dark at will and have conscious control over it. And plant DNA, so they could perform photosynthesis in their fur (which would be green because of all the chlorophyll) and wouldn't even need to eat food. And finally Tyrannosaurus rex DNA, so nobody would mess with them. The resulting creatures would be kinda like the dogs in Liberal Crime Squad that can talk and do things, except a million times more awesome. And they'd probably take over the entire world and replace humans as the dominant species on the planet, due to this awesomeness. But I will create them anyway because I am a mad scientist and my goal is to create chaos.