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Author Topic: A Short Story - Do you fear the Darkness???  (Read 2599 times)

Neyvn

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A Short Story - Do you fear the Darkness???
« on: September 11, 2013, 10:31:23 am »

"Darkness...
It consumes you, doesn't it...
When surrounded by that which is unknown, we fear it, we cower from it. We must make sense of it all..."

The voice echos around the room, you can not see anything. For like the words your vision is lacking and the air filled with a great stillness. Not a single light illuminates around you as you fumble for a light, anything to bring some sort of vision to the room. You fumble with your pockets and grasp the small box within, your fingers seem to shake unnervingly as you strike the small wooden stick against the hard stone floor beneath your feet. Your breath halts as the flame threatens to die before it even comes to life but soon the small glow begins to fill the room...

"Even though we do not know, we seek to bring illumination to that we can not see, we create that of a small hope that we can exist and seek to make it last..."

The voice continues uncaring of your actions as you hold the single light higher, its small flame barely breaking through the darkness. All remains shrouded except for a lone candle sitting silently upon a small table before you, as if waiting...

"Without that which we can attach it to, hope can become lost if not cared for, if not... Cherished..."

Moving forward, the small flame teases your fingers, almost consuming all the fuel that the tiny wooden twig had to offer, again you can not breath as you bring the flame towards the wick of the candle, again it threatens to die before your eyes but soon it springs onto the small cord protruding from the wax, latching itself to it and glows steadily, as if reassuring you that it is there for you...

"But even alone, a single spark can not bring light to a world. It can only drive back the darkness around it, pushing the shadows away and forcing them to retreat. Unless one can become many can there be true illumination..."

As you lift your eyes away from the candle you can see that around it are more, just like the first, resting silently, waiting...

"Slowly but surely, without doubt, more will come and push back the darkness, push back its shadows and force them to retreat..."

The Voice repeats itself, but as it speaks another candle bursts alight, a flame coming to life as if by it own choosing. The dark room brightens again by this second glowing form, then like a wave another then another begins to spring alive, the light flickering across the walls, roof and stone floor...

"When the darkness is fought by the light, it must retreat, retreat to the depths and away from the brightness that is hope. It hides within the cracks, it hides behind the walls. Where the light can not reach it sits waiting for it chance to move once again..."

The light from the candles seems to bounce everywhere, illuminating the small room with all its might. Tables, shelves and many other items of furniture seem to be scattered around the room. Draws open yet empty. Chairs fallen to their side as if cast away in haste. A bed sits in the corner, its covers resting on the floor beside it, stripped of its true place. Yet, you stand alone and the voice still echoes...

"When all is seen then the chaos hidden by the darkness, but was it the fault of the unknown that caused it or that of something else. Was it there a lack of vision or a hidden truth behind the shadows that caused it? But still. The shadows exist, the more light there is the longer the shadows become. And then they move..."

The candles flicker and sway in an untouched wind, some grow brighter while some dim. With the movement comes the dance, as the shadows cast by the light moves around, pushing through here and there to challenge the shadows for their place...

"Surely there must be a way to combat the darkness that remains, surely there is a way to rid oneself of their shadows and reveal all to the light. Perhaps that is the solution, more light..."

The Voice seems to muse to itself slowly, and out of the corner of your eye you see what appears to be more and more candles rolling out of the shadows before rocking to their feet with its wick held high, as you turn to face these newcommers you hear more and more sounds. Hundreds of candles come forth, rocking back and forth as they stand tall, waiting. Here, there, deeper in the shadows and close to their breathern the appear and stand. The flames moving outwards from the originals onto these arrivals as the glow of the candles spread and grows...

"There, now you see, with more light the shadows have nowhere to run, soon they are erased and there is no more darkness. Do you not see..."

For the first time since you entered this room the Voice seems to direct itself towards you. Yet you can't help but admit that it is right, with the new candles there is almost no shadows or darkness within the room, small candles sit within the spaces to help illuminate the cracks, tall candles reach high to bring light to the nooks and fat ones sit strong and proud keeping the flame held sturdy...

"But, we must never forget, without Darkness there is no need for Light, and with Light there is always Darkness... Without realising it, even those that carry light high will sometimes cause darkness to surround their feet, consuming their path and hiding their true standings..."

Again like the Voice said, you yourself can see it, with each new light that glows, a Shadow is cast around it, though sometimes it is chased away by another nearby, some cast a shadow to large or too small to be erased completely or even to be touched. Looking down even you admit that you cast a shadow below you, where the candles do not reach and their light does not shine. Then you notice it...

"When darkness is seen, light seeks to remove it. It strives to reach where it can not and bring its light to the far reaches, sometimes it will attempt to remove the cause, sometimes it will hide it. Keep the light bright..."

All around you feel it, the heat of all these small flames seem to grow, a few candles melt quicker then others as if struck down by them while other candles increase their flames to strike at the shadows cast by it and others. You feel hot and you can not help but to wipe at your brow. Your sleeve damped by sweet. More and more lights appear, increasing the volume of both the illumination and the heat that it brings...

"But, mind you... Sometimes when you strive to hard, accidents happen..."

The Voice seems to cackle with laughter as you notice a candle roll over to the bed, rocking to its feet it wick bursting into flames, but with it does the sheets lying strewn on the floor. The fire quickly consumes the cloth, growing in size and leaping onto the bed. The wood cracking and burning as the fire consumes it. The flames lick at the walls and the roof, it grows and spreads across the bed and over the cupboards, chairs and table. The Candles fall one by one as their wax melts in this intense heat...

"Even though it itself is light, and hope, sometimes, Pure Chaos can grow from too much of a good thing. Like fools chasing the darkness, a simple mistake can cause much more to form from its strengths. It will grow and grow until it becomes nothing more then the monster they once tried to chase away with there attempts to be rid of it..."

As the fire grows around you, the Voice seems to cackle and break down into fits of hysteria, your body seems to be frozen to the point you can not move, fear before this new threat strikes you still more so then the darkness before. You can not breath for it fills your lungs with a burning sensation. The Heat and the Flames lick at your skin, touching it and teasing it. The light blinds you as you struggle to tell yourself to run. It is too much...

Then all is still...
The burning stops, the light darkens...
Your breath calms and the air is cool...
Around you the flames quell and die, the shadows and darkness creep back around you...
Yet, you remain unafraid...

"Darkness begets Light, yet Light uncontrolled can become Chaos... What can combat the Chaos you ask. Well....."

The voice strays off on the last word, a light slowly grows before you. Your hand unconsciously tightens its grip around the waxy substance...

"Balance...
Light can not Exist without Darkness, and Darkness has no meaning if there is nothing to face it...
Sometimes...
One can not exist without the other..."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Welp...
Thanks for reading this...
Its been a while since I tried writing something, and this little story has been sitting in my head for a while now...
I am sure there is problems with the grammar and maybe I could have used better wording in many places. Just one thing to note. PLEASE do not make a big deal about my use of ... to end paragraphs and such. I know its not proper or whatever but its a habit I can't seem to stop. If you would please not that the times that it is used within a paragraph, I am using it for its true use. And that I NEVER use them for when a single . is used mid paragraph/line of text...

Other then that, please give me your thoughts and feelings about the tale, its not spos to end or begin with any meaning, just to be an imagery tale...
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timotheus

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Re: A Short Story - Do you fear the Darkness???
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2013, 10:59:00 am »

I enjoyed it! I tended to skim the descriptive text of how more and more candles kept coming in; for me it was the Voice I was interested in reading more of. It was a little confusing, since at times I thought the room was as illuminated as it could be, but then even more would come in.

Thanks for sharing! If I think of anything more helpful I'll add it.
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Skyrunner

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Re: A Short Story - Do you fear the Darkness???
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2013, 07:09:49 am »

Nice. The seventh paragraph from the end is a bit awkward, though. The one where a candle falls over and sets a sheet ablaze, bringing the end to ALL OF LAW AND ORDER AS WE KNOW IT!

It's an interesting way to approach an oft hackneyed topic. The ending could use a bit more polish though. It felt like a minor letdown... maybe expand on what balance is, just like you did with the candles?
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Neyvn

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Re: A Short Story - Do you fear the Darkness???
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2013, 09:46:07 am »

Thanks for the Posts and Reviews on this guys...
I kinda wrote this as an "After Work Idea in Head" thing. So it never really had any TRUE polish. But it seems that the idea was passed through...

I enjoyed it! I tended to skim the descriptive text of how more and more candles kept coming in; for me it was the Voice I was interested in reading more of. It was a little confusing, since at times I thought the room was as illuminated as it could be, but then even more would come in.

Thanks for sharing! If I think of anything more helpful I'll add it.
What I was trying to say with the extra candles is the fact that whenever you see a film, book, game or just a story from history. Things just get more hectic and over the top things get when things get too "Goody Twoshoes" over things. I think the game "Overlord" also expands on the "Good needs Evil to survive."

Nice. The seventh paragraph from the end is a bit awkward, though. The one where a candle falls over and sets a sheet ablaze, bringing the end to ALL OF LAW AND ORDER AS WE KNOW IT!

It's an interesting way to approach an oft hackneyed topic. The ending could use a bit more polish though. It felt like a minor letdown... maybe expand on what balance is, just like you did with the candles?
Yeah I kinda did need to expand more on the Balance bit but with a combination of sleep coming in and friends on Teamspeak egging me to join them in game, I got kinda lost in what I was trying to say. I wrote it all in one sitting and most of it worked and reworked countless times before I finally settled on what I wanted said and how. Even then, it wasn't the best...

Still thanks to those that read this and didn't post, and the two of you that did... ^_^
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Quote from: Ubiq
Broker: Wasn't there an ambush squad here just a second ago?
Merchant: I don't know what you're talking about. Do you want this goblin ankle bone amulet or not?
My LIVESTREAM. I'm Aussie, so not everything is clean. Least it works...