Late Winter, 252 AUAlright, so I'm going to try my best and maintain my composure as I'm writing this. I'm at the end of my term, but that doesn't mean I can't help to fight against what I've uncovered. No, I haven't discovered the circus or anything. In fact, now that I think about it, it's not bad at all. It's minor compared to all the clowns that could come and murder us, but I'll explain exactly what we found later on.
So basically, at the beginning of the season I decided to stop the whole grid digging stuff so that the miners could carve out cliffs which would in turn prevent potential invaders from climbing up the mountain and on top of our walls.With our fortress now newly impenetrable, I ordered the miners to dig deeper down. I ordered them to dig about 10UL (Urist Layers, for the uneducated peasantry). Before long, I had come across what we had been searching for the last two months: the caverns.
After digging out some passageways to be able to safely get into and out of the caverns without any chance of plummeting down a cliff due to some lowly buttfuck deciding to dodge into the worst possible place, I decided to order the head mason to construct a wall and two doors that could easily be locked just-in-case. That would provide an easily defendable point just in case a forgotten beast decides to raise its ugly head. I was also considering building a drawbridge that could quickly be raised to block the Forgotten beast just in case we're not able to defend quickly enough, but I did not have the opportunity to build that due to the events that would soon unfold.
Although that's not really important at the moment. What I was really looking for all along was Cave Moss...and we found plenty of that shit down there. So, to make sure that our livestock has someplace to feed, I ordered the digging out of an underground pasture area just below the farms. We ran into some stone and that could potentially limit the feeding area, but for now I'm not too concerned. The animals should have plenty of area to graze upon before we
slaughter put them to better use. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting for the moss to grow all the way across the ground, and that probably won't happen for a while, but I'm not too discouraged. Before long we'll be able to move everything to safety.
While that was being dug out, one of the lazy twats that was hanging out in the food storage, drinking everything ended up getting possessed. After claiming the Forge, they began fashioning another piece of armor that would complement our fabulous little gold helm. This one was called "Birdroared", a chain mail shirt. After the chain mail shirt was finished, I gave the dwarf responsible a massive spanking with my new *elf baby leather belt* and promptly stored the shirt inside of the general purpose stockpile.
While this was happening, a giant mole happened to crawl up the stairway. I realized later that the wall and doors I had ordered to be built had not been built after all, as the mole had scared away the wussbag. I sent one of the military squads down there (Vucar's squad, to be exact) to guard against anything else that might scare away the poor dwarfy warfy from building his fwagile wittle wall. Piece of shit.
In any case, the gate was finished soon enough, but I kept them there for a little while longer when I heard word that there were troglodytes in the caverns. Apparently, most of them weren't anywhere close to the fortress, but their movements could move closer to us and pose a danger to the weavers that would soon be heading down there so I decided to keep them around a little while longer. I stayed out of the caverns for about four days or so before I suddenly saw some dwarves hauling troglodyte corpses into the refuse stockpile. When I inquired them about what the fuck they were doing hauling those disgusting shitbags inside of
my precious fortress, they quickly explained that the squad I had dispatched downstairs had just fended off a small ambush squad of troglodytes. They were probably bullshitting just to escape the wrath of my belt, but with that in mind I ordered the squads to be relieved from their station and return to the fortress. For some reason I had forgotten that troglodytes tend to release miasma when they're rotting, unlike other creatures...so I had to lock the refuse stockpile for a while to let all that gas go away.
In any case, after roughly three months of being held captive inside of our fortress, the liaison finally gave the expedition leader a good enough deal for imports. Whoever succeeds me should take note of it.
The fortress remained very peaceful for about two months after that. Then, in early Obsidian, we see the head mason Logem Pulleychained run out of the main stairway yelling, "FAKFAKFAKFAKFAKFAKFAKFAKFAK"
Before I could ask what the fuck he was yelling for I see this massive fucking spider just blitz right out of the main stairway and coat the entire hallway in sticky
vaginal fluid spider webs. I had no idea that this spider was even in the fortress in the first place, but now I did. Logem became stuck in the web almost immediately and the spider set his sights upon him. I couldn't act free myself from the web fast enough and could only watch as the spider bit down right upon poor Logem's head, crushing his skull and injecting its venom into him. Right as it was about to finish the job, it was set upon by the entire military, jamming its collective weapon stash right into the beast's abdomen. Finally freeing myself from the web that had trapped me, I ran over to Logem and dragged him out of his prison. His blood was all over my hands, and he wasn't moving or breathing. His skin was completely pale, and his eyes were rolled back into his head.
As the beast finally fell, we watched to see if Logem would ever recover. Miraculously, he regained consciousness after only an hour, although his head was still split open and he was still incredibly pale. Fikod the legendary miner carried the mason into his bedroom, which he apparently found quite enjoyable. A little too enjoyable if you ask me.
Just as soon as one problem ended, another began. A Troll decided to come tromping around the outside of the entryway to the caverns, and I quickly decided to send a military squad to the fray...except the squad was equipped with only wooden weapons, which I daresay are not quite useful when trying to kill a
god damn troll. She somehow managed to kill a baby and a speardwarf, earning her the title "Stokertyphoon." The following battle lasted for
three fucking weeks, and ended with me forcing the squad to retreat so that we would not suffer any more losses. By that point, Logem had already recovered, and the battle log recorded by some hooplehead standing there and watching with about nine dicks up his ass covered roughly
two dozen pages.
Now I must leave this fortress to its next ruler. For now I shall take the role of Hammerer for this fortress, and I now leave my successor some drawings that will let him or her carry on my wishes.
First off is the existence of water in the under ground cavern. I suggest building a pump stack that will get this up to a hospital, which should be built ASAP:
Second is my plans for some catacombs:
And finally, here are the statistics for the fortress at the end of my term:
May Armok save us all.
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=8008
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Topic: [DF 34.11]Fikodtun, Land of the Loving (Read 10996 times)