Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Build a proper above-ground house(s) upon the Mountain!

2 (25%)

Sell Sunshine to the Mountainhomes! (specify quantity in thread)

0 (0%)

Begin training siege engineers and operators!

4 (50%)

I have another suggestion.... I think it is a better idea! (specify in thread)

1 (12.5%)

All of the above!

1 (12.5%)

Total Members Voted: 8

[Timeless Bob]

Sorry to do this so late, but can you dorf me as one of the females?  Name her "Wendy" and give her the bookkeeping/medical/cooking/cleaning/engraving jobs. She's a traditionalist at heart: all of her future children (and any males she thinks might be acceptable surrogates until some happen to come along) will be sure to be properly terrified of her.

The dwarven liberals back home "convinced" her to come with these others using plenty of rope, a tight gag and a barrel that should have been full of something other than a furious traditional extremist.

"You boys wouldn't know the first thing about mindin an estate! 
Figurin' and readin is women's work! Now go and play in the dirt with the others!"

[CaptainArchmage]

Here is a summary of how things went for those of you in the starting seven (who signed up before we left):

Urist the Soon-to-be, Corpse Miner

You bought 12 highwood logs, 20 drinks of each type, 14 seeds, and managed to persuade the organisers to invest in a horse, a cow, and a dog.

The next night, you came across one of the mason's guild dwarves, who was being searched by the fortress guard for some reason. Nobody was looking, so you made off with his wagon and drove it at top speed to the warehouse storing the supplies for the expedition. You had to abandon the wagon afterwards. This got you a pile of bauxite and kaolinite, and two horses.

War dogs don't take well to being moved, but you managed to find two strays.

Muffin NoBeard

You managed to bring along your 10 boulders of jet, your 60 units of booze, and 5 units of dingo meat. You also found a mirror, and noticed your beard has now grown quite long.

Karkov

The expedition was already supplied with an iron anvil and copper battle-axe, so you got some cassiterite, bismuthinite, and bituminous coal using the money supplied.

Sorry to do this so late, but can you dorf me as one of the females?  Name her "Wendy" and give her the bookkeeping/medical/cooking/cleaning/engraving jobs. She's a traditionalist at heart: all of her future children (and any males she thinks might be acceptable surrogates until some happen to come along) will be sure to be properly terrified of her.

The dwarven liberals back home "convinced" her to come with these others using plenty of rope, a tight gag and a barrel that should have been full of something other than a furious traditional extremist.

"You boys wouldn't know the first thing about mindin an estate! 
Figurin' and readin is women's work! Now go and play in the dirt with the others!"[/center]

Nice pic, did you make it?

I already embarked, and we have one female dwarf out of seven dwarves, who is the bowyer and doctor. You're going to be that dwarf. We don't have a carpenter (FFFfffffffff) because I screwed up the embark for some reason.

Link to embark save: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7971

As mentioned previously, invaders are off until about the end of the second fortress year, unless something really big happens. I might connect this to a specific fortress wealth instead.

I have also switched on dwarf mode splatter tracking. This will be switched off if we end up with a really dire mess.

Edit: I ran fixdiplomats and fixmerchants. I think we can finally get around to getting stuff done (i.e. finding a place for the farms).

[Timeless Bob]

Nope, found it on the internet, but if you trackback the link, you'll see who made it.  I don't ever post without giving some sort of credit.

[Karkov]

Welcome to the fort, Timeless Bob.  Good to see someone else with an active interest in the fort.  I wonder where our other comrades are...

Also, I swear I see you everywhere on these forums.  How do you keep track of everything? 0.o

[BlackMuffin]

Good to see someone else with an active interest in the fort.  I wonder where our other comrades are...

OOC: Hey, sorry I can't be online every hour of the day. I've got a social life and things to do other than DF y'know.

1st Granite, 301

The writing is imprinted deeply into the paper. It seems the author was writing with a particular amount of pressure against their writing instrument as they were composing this piece.

Alright, so y'know how usually fortresses have really silly names like "Paddledfury", "Juicemen", and "Stafftarget", right? Like where every last inch of the uncreative minds that constitutes our ruler's diminutive hairy brains has finally squirted out some god-awful kind of random duo of words that makes no sense to anybody except those hatasses that we call our leaders. I wish there was some sort of contest where all the fortresses of The Dangerous Salve would come together and pit all of their retarded names up against each other in some kind of ridiculous orgy of idiocy just so that our new fortress (which is literally just a massive wall stretching roughly a kilometer up into the sky until that Urist guy gets off his fat ass and starts digging) will win the grand prize.

So what is the glorious name our fortress has been given?

BOWELPILLARS.

WAT.

I mean, yes, the fortress in which I was born was called Basementmurder, which is pretty sketchy in and of itself, but I don't know what kind of messed-up yakbrain comes up with a name which literally means "large columns of shit". I don't know if they intend for us to replicate the name with actual imagery inside of our fortress, but I'd rather actually climb to the top of the wall and just relieve myself straight onto the migrants that'll come to populate our soon-to-be-shithole of a forest rather than actually have to craft statues out of all my comrades' excrement, including my own. If the first thing the humans see (and smell) when they come up to our fortress is just massive piles of crap then I wouldn't blame them if they just called it quits, turned around, and hightailed it the fuck out of there before they had to trade with us.

In any case, the blacksmith seems to be eyeing me due to my lack of a beard, and in all honesty I'm terrified that I'll be kicked out of here too for my deformity. What am I supposed to do, slap on some kind of gel and just watch my beard grow out? It's not like I shave it or anything.

Whatever. Urist seems to be getting ready to start digging. I'll follow close behind him so I can start working on whatever the leader asks me to make without too much delay. He scares me a little. In fact, most of these dwarves scare me to some degree. Especially that female one. I swear to Armok her hands glow a little every once in a while, it's like she's a necromancer or something.

Speaking of necromancers, there'd better not be any fucking vampires among the migrants that come idle around our fortress in the near future. Last thing I need is some hooplehead sucking out another citizen's blood vessels through their neck. Or my neck, for that matter.

In any case, first impressions are shit, the fortress itself will most likely be composed of literal shit, and I wouldn't be surprised if before long I start getting shit just because I'm different.

Speaking of shit, look what one of the horses just produced. How quaint...
...and there goes the farmer too, right next to it.

Armok help us all.

[CaptainArchmage]

Bowelpillars Fortress Journal, 1st Granite 301

The following admin jobs have been assigned:

Expedition Leader: Lava Doublebraids, Comedian of Steel.
Militia Commander: "Karkov", Weaponsmith.
Sheriff: Urist the Soon-to-be, Corpse-Miner.
Manager: Muffin NoBeard
Chief Medical Dwarf: Wendy
Broker: Lava Doublebraids

Unfilled positions:
Hammerer
Bookkeeper

I have assigned the farm animals to a pasture just in front of the entrance to the volcano. Ore is visible from the outside! I can see native gold, native aluminium, tetrahedrite, sphalerite, galena, native copper, and hematite a long way up the volcano. I've also seen some faint yellow diamonds in a kimberlite deposit too.

I've had some of the volcano's wall dug out, where that entrance will be. However, before we continue to dig there, we need to make a farming outpost on the other side of the brook. Unfortunately, there is no soil available on this side of the brook for digging out farms, so we have to build a new outpost on the other side and (eventually) connect it to the volcano fortress by an underground tunnel.

Some of the fortress residents may be of the opinion that our fortress is going to be made out of literal piles of shit. We can do that using earthenware, or better, stoneware bricks shitted out by kilns in the volcano. The humans tend call those structures "houses".

From now on, I will make monthly reports unless something exceptionally interesting happens.

[BlackMuffin]

Hey, Archmage, if you don't mind could you make the posts a little longer? Play for like a whole season or month before you start putting up a post. We've got more to read that way. owo

[Karkov]

Bowelpillars Fortress Journal, 1st Granite 301

I have assigned the farm animals to a pasture just in front of the entrance to the volcano. Ore is visible from the outside! I can see native gold, native aluminium, tetrahedrite, sphalerite, galena, native copper, and hematite a long way up the volcano. I've also seen some faint yellow diamonds in a kimberlite deposit too.

Wait, we settled at a volcano?  My smith is going to be so happy that we don't have to dig down to the magma sea.

Good to see someone else with an active interest in the fort.  I wonder where our other comrades are...

OOC: Hey, sorry I can't be online every hour of the day. I've got a social life and things to do other than DF y'know.

Heh, no problem, just messin' with you guys.  Not used to threads and stuff where you just kinda post once and forget for a couple of days.  Really liked your intro, I was slightly dubious of the fortress' name myself.  Makes me wonder if we should build giant bronze pillars in front of the entrance, a monument to our glorious fort!

[CaptainArchmage]

We have sand, clay, and fire clay, so as in

Wait, we settled at a volcano?  My smith is going to be so happy that we don't have to dig down to the magma sea.

We have settled at a volcano! There is also limestone a ways above where the survival bunker is being constructed, on the other side of the brook.

Really liked your intro, I was slightly dubious of the fortress' name myself.  Makes me wonder if we should build giant bronze pillars in front of the entrance, a monument to our glorious fort!

As in the journal entry, since we have sand, clay, fire clay, and a volcano, we can shit out a metric fuckton of building materials and construct above-ground. We also have a lot of z-levels to work with.

[CaptainArchmage]

Lava Doublebraid's Fortress Journal, 1st Slate, 301

Un-fucking surprisingly, we managed to make it through the first month. We have a reasonable shelter on the northern side of the brook, with two farms in it. Some seeds are being planted as I write this. When we have a metal industry running, I plan to fortify this area into a future survival bunker.

Behold! The first item of furniture manufactured here at Bowelpillars is a superior quality piece of schist.

Urist the Soon-to-be has done a good job both at mining and as a sheriff, though we haven't really had any crime around here to speak of.

Karkov has been chopping down some trees to increase our supply of wood. We haven't had any violence from invaders or wildlife so far.

Unfortunately, we do not have a carpenter, so we will either have to learn the skill from scratch or wait for a (hopefully) more competent individual to migrant over here in the summer.

[Timeless Bob]

Here's an idea: designate a "comb" of corridors to be smoothed out then engraved.  Dig out any engravings that aren't historical and smooth the newly exposed floor, leaving a large room containing "The Pillars of History".  Every time an artifact is made, store it here (using a display case if we have that option).  If this also serves as a memorial garden with slabs made for fallen dwarves/defeated foes, idle dwarves will get all happy observing their history.  I figure expanding by one wall per season will eventually end up with a continuous wall of history surrounding the "Pillars of History", which will serve as an offset to unhappy thoughts due to rampant !!Fun!!

Welcome to the fort, Timeless Bob.  Good to see someone else with an active interest in the fort.  I wonder where our other comrades are...

Also, I swear I see you everywhere on these forums.  How do you keep track of everything? 0.o

It's about the same as when you read three or four books at the same time - you get to a stopping place, pick up the other book, review a bit until you remember what's going on, then read until you get to a stopping point again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.
(A little OCD helps too)

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

I hope no one figures out what I stole...

[BlackMuffin]

1st of Slate, 301

The first two lines of this entry have all of the rage musterable by the dwarven race scripted into but a few words.

A VOLCANO.

THE COCKSUCKERS SET US UP NEXT TO A FUCKING VOLCANO.

Ever since I was little I've had a fear of fire and hot things in general. While all the other dwarven children were having fun splashing each other with goddamn magma and burning to death within a matter of seconds I was busy actually trying to figure out how to survive rather than having all these Urists (no relation to the Urist we have here with us...he's actually a pretty cool guy. He seems kinda sketchy though, like he's constantly hiding something from us. I wonder what that is?) splash me with magma so I can scald myself to death too. Like, seriously, figuring out how to fashion things from stone seems tedious, but it's a good alternative to lighting myself on fire for fun.

In any case, I'm really fucking pissed off that they set us up next to a volcano. It's not active, fortunately, but there's still a jazzton of magma inside of it. We can actually feel the heat coming off the walls, and it only get worse as Urist digs deeper. I hope he knows what he's doing, because the only good thing that can come out of a volcano is a magma forge. I'd rather not mention the fucktards that decide to jump into a pool of magma just because they can't create an artifact whenever they'd like. (of course there's the fire imps too, but those aren't as dangerous when you've got ten fucking testosterone elementals pounding them into the dirt as soon as they come out of the magma)

Meanwhile, Lava's doing a terrible job in terms of architecture (I really do not see the advantage of having our dormitory literally right next to the entrance), and Wendy (the female dwarf) has been bullying me quite a bit, yelling things like "Managing work orders is a woman's job, I tell ya!" and "You filthy excuse for a man, don'tcha know ya oughta keep yer filthy mouth shut in front of a lady?" I mean, I know I'm sort of profane, but you're gonna have to stop getting your jimmies that rustled up every time I utter the words "fuckwit" or "anusmountain" or "jizznipple", lady. I'm having enough trouble managing work orders as it is and having you breathe down my neck all the time doesn't help.

Speaking of managing work orders, I actually got assigned by Lava as the manager. Yippee. Looks like I've actually got some authority for once. Hopefully that'll get the others to respect me.

In order for me to be able to actually be able to work, I got set to work pretty early on making a table and throne for myself. I made my throne out of schist and am still working on my table, but DAMN, my table is pro as fuck! Easily the best work I've made in my life, but I think it'll turn out even better when I start working on my table...

Here's hoping Bowelpillars (holy fuck this name is retarded) doesn't get ravaged by Goblins within our first year living here.

[CaptainArchmage]

Here's an idea: designate a "comb" of corridors to be smoothed out then engraved.  Dig out any engravings that aren't historical and smooth the newly exposed floor, leaving a large room containing "The Pillars of History".  Every time an artifact is made, store it here (using a display case if we have that option).  If this also serves as a memorial garden with slabs made for fallen dwarves/defeated foes, idle dwarves will get all happy observing their history.  I figure expanding by one wall per season will eventually end up with a continuous wall of history surrounding the "Pillars of History", which will serve as an offset to unhappy thoughts due to rampant !!Fun!!

This sounds like a great idea! At the moment

Here's hoping Bowelpillars (holy fuck this name is retarded) doesn't get ravaged by Goblins within our first year living here.

This is exactly the kind of reaction a Dwarf Fortress community or succession game deserves.

I can confirm we have habitation up, but no beds. The next job will be working out where to put the other corridors and workshop rooms.

7th Felsite 301: Kind-of-monthly report by Lava Doublebraids

At the beginning of the Slate, we were still trying to get our booze into storage. Trekking across the brook takes a surprisingly long time! I suppose if we use minecarts we can make this faster.

On 7th Slate, Muffin NoBeard build a truly masterwork rhyolite throne.

I did not learn about its creation until around 11th of the month, as I was setting up a farmer's workshop. As there were no other jobs we could deal with, I had Wendy deal with gathering some plants from the herb patch, and decided to come along. A thunderstorm hit the moment we went outside, but we managed to find some sun berries, which produce the legendary sunshine!

Here's what I got for 15th Slate 301

Everyone will be eating in the food stockpile for now, since we don’t have a dining room up yet. The bedrooms are being dug out to the north, and I have “repurposed” two of the rooms as offices.

Most of us had to eat, and were feeling tired. Karkov decided to crash in the food stockpile, with Muffin NoBeard eating some Yak meat over him.

This is a drawing of Muffin NoBeard, eating some yak meat

This is Karkov, passed out on the same spot

Eventually, the rest of us just ended up sleeping "around the fortress", since the were no beds available.

The first plump helmets sprout! Our fortress is now able to produce its own food.

We now have two offices, and Muffin NoBeard's contains his masterwork throne. The other office should be used for book-keeping until we have better quarters. The dining hall is also complete, and seats 8 dwarves.

Oversized image below!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wendy told me we should have some kind of "pillars of history" thing, where some catacombs are dug out for artefacts and drawing engravings of the history of our fort. That sounds like a good idea - I've heard if you tell engravers to carve minecart tracks through an area, they will erase previous engravings, and so we can at least get the floors looking the way we want them to look. Getting engravers to engrave what you want engraved is hard-ass shit.

I hope the first group of migrants can do carpentry, because I am the comedian of fucking steel, and I deserve a fucking bed for all that fucking. I may be a metal-head and I can forge you some fucking good defences, but that doesn't mean I like sleeping around on fucking stone floors. Fuck you.

Expect my design hand to get a lot fucking shittier if we don't get some beds around here soon. If it happens that we don't have a carpenter making beds in a year's time, we could be seeing some freaky shit happening with the plumbing I want. Trust me, you don't want to know, whoever you are.

[Karkov]

Diary of Karkov, the pages are stained with some strange liquids and are folded haphazardly, as though the book has been used as a pillow:

"Some dwarfs say that sleepin' without a bed is a terrible experience and no one should go through it.  I say that it's more efficient to sleep in the stockpile, when I wake up I don't have to go more'n three feet to get a good stiff drink.  I'm still perplexed by how I wound up sleepin' under a barrel though, and how someone was sittin' on top o' the barrel while I was under it.  All in all, a slightly more unusual start to the day than I'm used to.

I've been using my axe for purposes other than murderin' recently.  Choppin' trees was never something I thought I'd end up doing, but it appears the two layabouts in the group decided they'd rather lug things around than work with wood.  It's just inefficient I tell you.  What is a smith to do with wood?  I'd rather burn it for fuel than sculpt it!  What I wouldn't give to have a forge in a nook with some magma to power it; I've been away from my craft for over two months now!

An oddity that's caught my recent attention is that whenever I call for the Architect, Lava, to make sure of a work order, that Muffin fella freezes up.  I could swear he starts sweatin' almost instantly as well.  I wonder what could bring on this reaction... Bah, there's too much work to do for this to be buggin' me!"