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[MrWillsauce]

I've exceeded the character limit in the main post, so I'm dumping the prologue here and just linking to it in the OP. I hate that it's become typical for there to be a week or more of downtime in between turns and I sincerely apologize for that. I'll definitely post the update tomorrow. That's like the fourth time I've made an empty promise like that. I really am the worst.

Spoiler: Prologue (click to show/hide)

In the beginning there was the word, and the word was Grek, and it was horrible. In the underworld of a now-destroyed and forgotten Universe, having returned from the veil of death with the help of his son (only to kill his offspring and steal power for himself), assembled all of the world's artifacts, and ascended to and beyond godhood, the former Elvish king Grek reigned supreme. With complete control of matter, space, and time, the malevolent god ruled over all of the tortured souls of Hell and Earth from his throne in the Underworld. The surface world was transformed into a playground for demons, who were given free reign to perform whatever atrocities they pleased upon the few mortal survivors who remained there for the amusement of their overlord. In Hell itself, conditions were far worse: the souls of the dead writhed in eternal agony as punishment for the crime of not being Grek.

Fortunately for the peoples of the Eighth Universe, Grek had not assumed absolute power without making powerful enemies even more conniving than himself. The first magical artifact that Grek acquired (back when he was merely an Elvish king) was the Philosopher's Stone, held by the dread necromancer Sormander. Both Grek and the necromancer died in the assault of Sormander's tower, but the artifact and its magical power was taken into Elvish custody, leading eventually to the resurrection of Grek via his son, Grek II. While the Elves dominated the mortal realm with their military might and magical powers, both Grek and Sormander set about scheming. Grek eventually was able to gain control over the Underworld via sheer force of will and charisma, and never paid a second thought to the dead necromancer. Meanwhile, Sormander was enlightened by his own death, having countless revelations about the nature of mortality and necromancy by being able to study his own tangible soul. Sormander, foreseeing Grek's inevitable rise to power, took measures to hide himself in the infinite plain of the Underworld so as to not be discovered by his nemesis. From his hiding place he studied and eventually worked out how to revive a totally destroyed soul, making the animation of bodies seem elementary. Using this method, Sormander retrieved Grek II's skeleton from the mortal realm, revived Grek II soul and imbued the skeleton with it. Now Grek II, eager to avenge his own death and to become the King of the Universe, began to plot a coupe against Grek I. Throughout all of this, Sormander never revealed himself to Grek II, leaving him completely stupefied as to how he returned into being. As per Sormander's plan, Grek II managed to steal his and his father's favorite artifact: the Cloak of Shadows. Using the cloak, the skeletal prince took possession of all of his father's magical items and, before Grek I even knew what had happened, became the sole ruler of the Universe. After this, Sormander revealed himself to Grek II, then used his necromantic powers to obliterate the new king's soul just as he had conjured it into existence. The Necromancer had all of the artifacts and total power. Grek II was merely a skeletal husk, and Grek I was an elf once again. Sormander imprisoned Grek in an impenetrable (so he thought) hellish dungeon, where he would live on forever in solitude and misery. His son's animated skeleton was allowed some cognitive function, but his soul was programmed by Sormander to be incapable of defying the necromancer's orders. Grek II became the second in command of the new Universe-encompassing empire and was given the Sword of Time to use and protect.

In the mortal realm, a confederation of Kobold tribes was able to evade the hordes of demons that pervaded the land. During a Kobold ritual, a Kobold shaman accidentally made contact with Grek down in his cell. Grek, knowing of the Kobolds' propensity for stealth, instructed them to steal the Sword of Time and use it to disintegrate Grek's bonds. Grek in return promised the Kobolds that they would be spared from his wrath once he assumed power once again (a promise he likely did not intend to keep), and offered them possession of the Cloak of Shadows, a legendary item of unparalleled importance in Kobold culture. Sormander's minions detected this inter-dimensional communication, and reported it to their lord. Sormander, fearing Grek even in captivity, spared no precaution in eliminating any possible escape method; he destroyed the entire Eighth Universe, and used his control over reality to reform the current world. Even the master of reality could not control the process of creation, and as such several of his artifacts destroyed themselves or were morphed into new forms to match the laws of this new Universe. Additionally, the surface world once again became habitable for the mortal races and became as it is now. During the commotion at the time of creation, Grek burst from his cell and, while unarmed and chained, destroyed his demon guards. He ran across the burning wasteland until he arrived at Sormander's throne room, where he confronted the necromancer king. Sormander, despite being all-powerful ruler of the Universe, feared Grek and knew he had something up his sleeve. Sormander cast all of the artifacts into the mortal realm (including the Sword of Time which was to be guarded by Grek II) and sealed the underworld completely off from the over world, knowing that the artifacts were the only way that Grek could defeat him. Grek's physical life force was extinguished with a snap of the necromancer's fingers, but his seemingly indestructible soul remained alive, trapped within a dead body. The body became an extra layer of security for Grek himself and was thrown back into the prison, the security of which was tremendously enhanced. What Sormander neglected to realize was that Grek II, who was his own father's most powerful prison guard, could still return to Hell using the sword to form a portal between the prison and him. The conniving Grek knew all about this, and counted on the Kobolds to act on the ancestral memory he had implanted in them to eventually retrieve the Sword and free Grek I. It was in this prison that he waited patiently as the fledgling communities in the mortal realm began to grow and advance.

[MrWillsauce]

Turn 44

Ship of Freaks's Cyan Humans
Stocks: 1068 Food, 9 Coal, 1 Iron Ore, 0 Iron Bars, 2 Steel bars, 0 Steel Weapon, 0 Sulfur, 0 Herds of Horses, 0 Herds of Unicorns, 0 Iron Weapon
Population: 293
Armies: 13 total, 8 at J-35 (stealthed) each wielding/carrying 1 item: 1 steel armor, 2 steel bars, 1 iron bar, 4 herds of unicorns, 4 at F-37(+1 movement, stealthed) with 4 herd of horses, 3 each holding a herd of horses and 1 holding 1 herd of horses and 1 iron bar (all 0,0)
Structures: 14 Towns, 207 Farms/Fisheries, 26 Stables (22 new), 81 Nature Preserves, 17 Mines, 26 Forges (8 new)

Spoiler: Mines (click to show/hide)

O-17: Iron, size 0
O-18: Coal, size 0
O-19: Sulfur, size 0
H-21: Sulfur, size 0
I-21: Sulfur, size 0
I-20: Iron, size 0
J-18: Iron, size 0
J-19: Coal, size 0
K-18: Sulfur, size 0
K-19: Coal, size 0
L-18: Iron, size 0
M-18: coal, size 0
M-19: Coal, size 0
N-18: Coal, size 0
N-19: Iron, size 0
J-20: Coal, size 0
J-21: Sulfur, size 0
K-21: Coal, size 0
K-22: Coal, size 0
K-23: Iron, size 0

Technologies: Field Agriculture, Preservation, Fish Domestication, Smelting, Steel Smelting, Charcoal Burning, Mithril Smelting, Fortress, Wall Constructing, Horse Domestication, Sailing, Stealth Maneuvering, Armoring, Mining, Theft, Blasting Charges, Master Theft, Weapon Smithing

Grek's Red Kobolds
Stocks: 262 Food, 0 Elf Population, 7 Human population, 15 Undead Hobbit Armies, 0 Coal, 5 Wood, 4 Sulfur, 0 Iron Weapons, 0 Iron Ore, 0 Iron Bars, 0 Steel Bars, 0 Steel Weapon, 0 Steel Armor, 0 herds of unicorns, 1 raw mithril, the Cloak of Shadows (I-44)
Structures: 19 Kobold Caves, 18 Fisheries, 4 Nature Preserves, 3 Forges
Population: 117
Armies: 21 total, 1 at F-30 with a herd of horses, holding 1 iron ore and 1 coal (+1 speed), 1 at S-20 with a herd of horses (+1 speed) holding 1 iron ore, 1 at E-23 with a herd of horses holding 1 coal and 3 iron ore (+1 speed), 1 at F-34 with a herd of horses (+1 speed) holding 1 iron ore, 1 at R-29 with The Axe of True Divinity (5, 0), 1 at N-17, 10 at Z-48, 3 at CC-36, 1 at I-34 (0,0), 1 at CC-25 (6,0 +1 speed) with 1 herd of unicorns and the Spear of Regicide [all armies stealthed]
Technologies: Theft, Fish Domestication, Stealth Maneuvering, Master Theft, Sailing, Woodcutting, Charcoal Burning, Fortress, Wall Construction, Smelting, Mining, Steel Smelting, Weapon Smithing
Theft Operations: 15 Kraken, 16 Dragon, 15 Roc, 0 Human Farm/Fisheries, 12 Human nature preserves, 10 Human Forges, 0 Human towns, 3 Hobbit Graveyards, 69 Hobbit Farms/Fisheries

Monk's Green Dwarves
Stocks: 107 Food,  35 Raw Mithril, 53 Iron Ore, -19 Coal, 1 Steel Bars, 3 Sulfur, 0 wood, 1 Steel Armor, 2 steel weapons, 4 herds of horses, yet-unnamed artifact mithril weapon
Population: 181
Armies: 9 total: 2 at N-8, 2 at N-14, one with The Sacred Substitute (5, 0), 1 at R-29, 1 at R-30, 1 at R-31, 1 at S-29, 1 at T-29
Structures: 35 Subterranean Farms, 25 Mountainhalls (8 new), 88 Farms/Fisheries (10 new), 6 Dwarf Fortresses, 10 Forges (3 new), 4 stables

Spoiler: Mines (click to show/hide)

I-8: Mithril, size 0 (destroyed)
G-7: Mithril, size 0 (destroyed)
G-20: Mithril, size 0 (destroyed)
H-20: Mithril, size 2 (destroyed)
J-17: Mithril, size 3 (destroyed)
L-17: Iron, size 0
J-22: Mithril, size 0 (destroyed)
M-8: Mithril, size 2 (destroyed)
M-9: Sulfur, size 0 (destroyed)
M-14: Mithril, size 5
N-7: Iron, size 0 (destroyed)
N-8: Iron, size 0
N-9: Iron, size 0 (destroyed)
N-10: Coal, size 0 (new)
N-14: Sulfur, size 3
O-8: Sulfur, size 0
O-9: Mithril, size 3 (destroyed)
O-10: Iron, size 0
X-13: Iron, size 0
X-15: Iron, size 0 (destroyed)
Y-12: Sulfur, size 3
Y-13: Iron, size 0
Y-14: Sulfur, size 0 (destroyed)
Y-15: Iron, size 0
Z-14: Iron, size 0
Z-15: Iron, size 0
AA-15: Sulfur, size 0 (destroyed)
S-10: Coal, size 0
W-16: Mithril, size 7 (destroyed)
X-16: Coal, size 0
X-17: Coal, size 0
Y-16: Coal, size 0
Y-18: Coal, size 0
Q-18: Sulfur, size 0 (destroyed)
J-10: Iron, size 2
J-11: Coal, size 0

Technologies: Mining, Subterranean Farming, Fish Domestication, Plains Farming, Mithril Mining, Fortress, Wall Construction, Smelting, Blasting Charges, Steel Smelting, Weapon Smithing, Armoring, Sailing, Woodcutting, Charcoal Burning, Horse Domestication, Theft, Master Theft

Terenos' Purple Halflings
Stocks: 772 food, 0 wood, 23 iron ore, 39 coal/charcoal, 29 herds of horses, 30 iron bars, 18 Raw Mithril, 10 steel bars
Population: 200
Armies: 104 total (42 alive), 1 Necromancer (-1,-1) at Y-54 w/ horse (+1 speed), 10 undead armies at X-55 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 9 undead armies at V-55 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 10 undead armies at V-15 (-1,0)(+1 speed), 1 undead army at V-55 w/ horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 10 undead armies at W-56 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 5 undead armies at X-56 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 3 undead armies at Y-55 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 2 undead armies at Y-54 w/horses (-1,0)(+1 speed), 12 undead armies at various graveyards (-1, 0), 5 armies at CC-28(-1,-1), 5 armies at CC-26 w/ horses (+1 speed), 1 army at AA-28 w/ horse (+1 speed), 1 army at BB-28, 1 army at CC-27, 1 army at DD-28, 1 armies at CC-37 (-1,-1), 5 armies at Z-53, 5 armies at AA-34, 9 armies at CC-37, 3 armies at I-55, 4 armies at F-56
Structures: 151 Farms/Fisheries, 20 Shires, 51 Mines (2 new), 9 Graveyards, 10 Stables, 10 Forges, 31 nature preserves

Spoiler: Mines (click to show/hide)

AA-54: Iron, size 0
BB-53: Iron, size 6
CC-52: coal, size 0
EE-51: Mithril, size 2 (destroyed)
EE-53: Mithril, size 8
X-58: Mithril, size 18
Y-58: Mithril, size 0
Y-57: Iron, size 3
Y-56: Iron, size 3
Z-57: Iron, size 0
Z-56: Mithril, size 4
Z-55: Mithril, size 0
AA-55: Mithril, size 10
BB-55: Coal, size 5
BB-54: Mithril, size 8
CC-54: Mithril, size 2
CC-53: Mithril, size 8
DD-53: Coal, size 0
DD-52: Mithril, size 12
EE-52: Iron, size 0
FF-52: Mithril, size 14
W-58: Coal, size 7
W-59: Coal, size 0
W-60: Coal, size 12
X-57: Coal, size 9
X-59: Coal, size 0 (new)
AA:56: Iron, size 0
CC-55: Coal, size 10
DD-55: Iron, size 0
V-58: Mithril, size 8
V-59: Iron, size 15
V-60: Mithril, size 14
V-61: Coal, size 8
EE-56: Coal, size 1
BB-37: Coal, size 10
CC-37: coal, size 18
CC-38: Iron, size 18
DD-35: Mithril, size 12
DD-36: iron, size 16
DD-38: Mithril, size 10
DD-39: Mithril, size 14
EE-36: iron, size 4
EE-37: coal, size 18
EE-38: iron, size 6
FF-37: iron, size 0
T-60: coal, size 4
U-59: coal, size 8
U-60: Mithril, size 2
U-61: iron, size 10
T-61: Mithril, size 9
U-57: Coal, size 11
S-59: Mithril, size 19 (destroyed)
S-60: Iron, size 19

Technologies: Field Agriculture, Fish Domestication, Woodcutting, Sailing, Mining, Charcoal Burning, Smelting, Horse Domestication, Blasting Charges, Armoring, Weapon Smithing, Wall Construction, Steel Smelting, Preservation, Fortress, Theft, Mithril Mining
Theft Operations: 18 Kobold Fisheries

Terra's Pink Elves
Stocks: 720 Food, 150 Herds of Unicorns, 10 Coal, 11 Iron Ore, 0 Iron Bars, 1 Sulfur, 4 iron armor, 3 iron weapons
Population: 484
Armies: 5 at CC-23
Structures: 36 Villages, 238 Farms/Fisheries (25 new), 44 Nature Preserves, 16 Unicorn Pens, 1 Stables (1 new), 10 Mines, 40 Forges (30 new)

Spoiler: Mines (click to show/hide)

E-4: Coal, size 0
F-4: Coal, size 0
F-5: Coal, size 0
F-6: Iron, size 0
F-7: Iron, size 0 (destroyed)
G-6: Coal, size 0
G-8: Coal, size 0 (destroyed)
H-7: Sulfur, size 0
H-8: Iron, size 0
H-9: Coal, size 0
I-9: Iron, size 0
I-10: Iron, size 0

Technologies: Preservation, Fish Domestication, Field Agriculture, Sailing, Horse Domestication, Mining, Unicorn Domestication, Armoring, Weapon Smithing, Smelting, Steel Smelting, Mithril Smithing, Blasting Charges, Fortress, Wall Construction, Theft, Master Theft, Stealth Maneuvering

Megabeast Hoards
Golden Dragon: The Crown of Unconditional Loyalty, 1 Herd of Horses, 2 Herds of Unicorns, 113 Food, 2 Iron Bars, 3 Elf Population, 1 Halfling Population, 4 Raw Mithril, 4 Charcoal, 3 Coal, 4 Iron Ore, 1 Steel Weapon
The Kraken: The Seaman's Pearl
The Roc: 3 Roc Eggs

Other Entities
Flame Serpent: at N-12 (3,2) on its way to the Volcano of Anguish
Flame Serpent: at X-15 (3, 2) on its way to the Volcano of Anguish
Flame Serpent: at G-8 (3, 2) on its way to the Volcano of Anguish
The Immortal Monk's Bane, Balrog: at M-8 (5,4) bent on the destruction of all Dwarven civilization
A bunch of moles: at X-17 (1,0) wild animals harassing miners
A bunch of moles: at H-8 (1,0) wild animals harassing miners
A war party of the Dwarven tribe Morulobulbokkalin: at F-7, guarding the entrance to their land

Goings on

Spoiler: Profane Heist (click to show/hide)

The Immortal Monk paced through his new haunt: the ruins of his ancestors that had been uncovered by deep-delving miners. It was there that he felt the deepest connection with the fey spirit of Dwarven community, and as such it was where he spent every free moment meditating (rarely returning to the natural cavern formations that were his birthplace; this was the birthplace of Dwarven civilization). He stopped in the center of a cobweb- and dust-covered dining hall and drew the precious relic from his back. Leaning on the downward-facing axe, the zealous king kneeled with closed eyes and let loose a Dwarven chant as old as axes and anvils, a chant that the Monk only knew via his divine connection with its inspiration. His deep, powerful voice reverberated throughout the hall -- for the song-loving Dwarves designed their halls with acoustics in mind -- allowing the large spiders that spun their domiciles at the furthest possible point from the Monk to hear the chant without blemish. It was at this point, when the hall was full of sound, its air in flux, that intruders upon this sacred ground chose to strike. The king noticed nothing until his support was snatched from him. Falling rapidly forwards, he stopped himself with outstretched arms, not for a second halting his chant as he jumped to his feet with zeal just in time to defend himself from a Kobold attacker. Grabbing the furry, knife-wielding arm of the thing, the king used his other hand to deliver skull-crushing blows to its face. Unable to call for his royal guard -- he had assigned them to defend the Dwarves' northern possessions from the balrog -- he continued to chant as he grabbed a chair of dense stone and got into position to swing its bulk as a weapon. None of the heavy doors of rock had budged since the axe's disappearance, so the thief must have been among the retired tables and chairs, but it was invisible to the chair-wielding monarch. Rather than searching the room (and no-doubt walking into another assassin's ambush), the king greatly increased the volume of his chant and climbed atop a long dining table, causing his spirit and his desire to murder whatever had snatched his divine right to soar. Suddenly a Kobold leaped onto the Monk's back, thrusting its long dagger twice into the flesh of its target, finally halting his chanting, before being flung to the other ends of the table. With a pained but stoic expression on his face, the Immortal Monk charged across the table towards the rodent, bringing down his improvised weapon and crushing its skull in a single strike. It was readily apparent that this was not the rat that had stolen his prize, and that the true thief had undoubtedly escaped by now into the unsearchable network of ancient tunnels. Even in this moment of defeat, the king did not express any emotion, but began marching back to the nearest hospital so that he would be physically ready to defend his kingdom, which was infinitely more valuable to him than any axe his god could bestow upon him. The assassin's knife had wrought more severe wounds than the king had realized, though, and he collapsed to the cracked stone floor in a rapidly-expanding pool of his regal blood.

Spoiler: Thieves of Impossible Skill and Childishness (click to show/hide)

While word that the party of expert thieves had successfully stolen the Axe of True Divinity reached the wicked smile of their chief in his lair at the base of the Volcano of Anguish, another party of master thieves made their way to the base of an enormous tree. Atop of the skyward tree, wreathed in dark clouds, was the Grekian Oracle: a hollow spherical structure made of living wood intertwined with iron that combined the natural beauty that the Elves loved with the frightful moribund industry beloved by the god they feared. Knowing the god from their dealings over the prized cloak of invisibility, the thieves scoffed at the futility of the monument; devotion will not spare one from Grek's murderous wrath, but being an accomplice to it just might. With this in mind the Kobolds concluded that the god would have qualms over the stealing of the mithril spear from his shrine for the betterment of his chosen people: the Kobolds. The thieves scaled the tree under the cover of night, entering the Oracle as they stealthily avoided the few priestesses of Grek that dwelled within. Arriving at the oracle himself, who was  prodding the leaves of a fern with the Spear of Regicide as he studied them in some sort of divination ritual, the thieves snickered impishly as their leader approached the oracle with a an object, the dimensions of which were roughly equivalent to the spear's. After a flurry of movements that would have been impossible for a thief of any other race to perform unnoticed, the oracle was holding in his hand a wooden broom and all of the Kobolds had vanished.

The Elves hardly even noticed the theft of such a powerful artifact, considering it to be more trouble than it was worth. They held celebrations in the name of naught but that they were Elves, and to be an Elf was good. The Elves lounged in their forests while the other nations of the world geared up for war, lived in squalor, or were otherwise miserable.

Spoiler: Gifts From Below in Requiem for the Immortal Monk (click to show/hide)

The body of the Immortal Monk, the king who had earned more love from his people than all his predecessors combined, was laid to rest in a sarcophagus, carved from a single chunk of raw mithril. The generals and bureaucrats of the empire abandoned their duties to mourn at the king's funeral (many with agendas of succeeding the king), as did dwarves of common professions. The procession that followed the coffin as it was carried downwards toward the ancient ruins of the dwarf fortress filled the subterranean city's tunnels from wall-to-wall for miles. The body was finally laid to rest in the temple where the Axe of True Divinity had been discovered, surrounded by images of his people's distant past and their far future. A somber song echoed through nearly all of the empire as the people mourned. So great was the combined force of the entire Dwarven people's voices that the neighboring Human population thought an earthquake had struck them. Down in the ancient fortress the singing was then disrupted by a Dwarf of considerable age himself: an elderly miner bearing an object and knowledge that was unbelievable to the mourners. Struggling to walk forward without his cane, the Dwarf nearly tripped over his long, white beard as he approached the coffin carrying in both hands an axe. The axe had a handle of polished steel and a shiny mithril head that produced mirror-quality reflections. It was found in another ancient fortress beneath an entirely different mountain range, the miner explained, as was yet another dwarf fortress and artifact mithril weapon -- this one a sword. It would seem that the civilized Dwarves of antiquity had populated all of the world (at one depth or another). The Dwarves placed the axe, identical to that which their late king held dearest, atop the corpse and shut the lid permanently.

As the last of the Dwarves left the king's tomb to mourn privately, he was stopped short by the sound of dragging stone behind him. Turning, he saw the Immortal Monk standing in the center of his temporary burial receptacle, holding the axe aloft in his right hand. All about him was the same golden halo that he had seen when glimpsing at himself in the axe's head, and the witness to the king's resurrection felt a warm glow within himself (along with the urge to feint). The Immortal Monk walked towards his subject and embraced him passionately. The hug went on for quite some time until finally a deep voice resounded in the bewildered dwarf's head "Do not worry, my child; I will save our kingdom yet."

1 Human fishery is destroyed by the dragon and the looted food is stolen by the Kobolds
1 Dwarven subterranean farm is destroyed by the dragon and the looted food is stolen by the Kobolds
The Dwarves strike and extract a tiny vein of mithril while digging deeply for coal
In another coal mine miners are harassed by aggressive moles
The Dwarves find 2 more goddamn artifact mithril artifacts and unleash another flame serpent!
2 Halfling mithril mines destroyed by the dragon. The mithril is stolen by the Kobolds.
The Elves unearth a flame serpent and a tribe of savage Dwarves
The Elves unearth a bunch of moles
The Elves find a vein of mithril which they can't mine
The Elves cause the mountain at J-9 to collapse
In addition to all the deep digging events, a lot of stuff fell into the sea. What's up with my dice today?

Spoiler: Map (click to show/hide)

[monk12]

((Awesome))

The Immortal Monk paced the ancient ruins of his ancestors, the scene of his rebirth. Soon, he would march to reclaim Dwarven strongholds from the skulking filth, land which his predecessors should never have surrendered. He lusted to journey to the East, to flay the thieves who, he was informed, had joined with a larger army in an attempt to break past the Dwarven Borders. His hands twitched on his axe at the thought, but he had glimpsed beyond the mortal veil, and had the crushing weight of infinite perspective on his mind. The Kobolds, though vile, could wait; the Balrog was loose and rampaging in the West, and frantic reports told of Fire Serpents descending from Elven lands. The Kingdom must be protected.

The heavy tread of iron boots interrupted his reverie. A stout dwarf with flame-red hair and an enormous mustache approached, clad in gilded steel armor set with large gemstones. His name was Tholtig Guardhatchet the Remarkable Fist, and he was one of the fiercest warriors among all the Dwarven Clans, having earned his title by striking down an armed warrior during a ritual duel using nothing but his gauntlet. He ruled his clan with an iron fist, mercilessly driving them to ever greater feats of craftsmanship and bravery, and had been one of the frontrunners to succeed the Immortal Monk as King under the Mountain before his miraculous resurrection. He was loved by few, and hated by many for his hard ways, but even his detractors could not fault his industriousness, his cunning, or his alcohol tolerance.

Tholtig stood, patiently awaiting word from his monarch. Wordlessly, the Immortal Monk drew forth a sword; a mithril sword, the mate to the Sacred Substitute, its equal in power and beauty. The blade seemed to glow with reflected fire from the torches as the Immortal Monk gifted the sword to his fellow dwarf with an unceremonious proclamation.

"This sword is the Torch of the Mountainhome. Put the skulking filth to the Torch."

Tholtig bowed low, withdrawing quickly; he would need to ride like the wind to join the Eastern armies in time for the assault.

((Before I start allocating things, I raised an army at M-8 with Steel Armor- did you just miss that, or did they lose to the Balrog and you forgot to mention it the report was forgotten in wake of news of the assassination? Also the +2 from the steel armor stacks with the +3 from the neighboring Fortresses, right?))

[MrWillsauce]

Yeah, you just lost the fight (and I did remember the bonuses, which actually reach a total of +6 due to wall construction). I also fear that I'm favoring the Dwarves too much in my narration, but given the forum this is I doubt anyone would object to that anyway.

[Nerjin]

Plus "Kobolds stole stuff... again. But this time no one could stop them! Just like last time." isn't much to say. Besides, every race has had that little "Era" of theres where we focus on them. Hopefully the elves have one soon.

[monk12]

The Immortal Monk spoke with his advisors and ministers at the surface entrance to the Sulfur Mine at the heart of the Kingdom. To the East, the Volcano of Anguish towered over the other mountains. To the South, Mountainhalls yielded to the Kobolds in times of peace were no doubt preparing for the coming war. More such Mountainhalls glowered to the West, and somewhere beyond them an enraged Fire Serpent was ravaging the countryside. One could also easily imagine the roar and hiss of the Fire Serpents coming from the distant North, from the mines of the elves.

When they asked why he chose to discuss economic policy in such a location, at such a tumultuous time, the Immortal Monk replied, "Even when armies march and heroes sing, the planters must provide food for their bellies, and the miners must dig fuel for the forges. Strike the Earth!"


Build 5 Mines at K[13-17] [5/181]
Work remaining 31 Subterranean Farms (the other mine is on a fortress) [36/181]
Work 88 Farms/Fisheries [124/181]
Build 6 Fisheries in available squares [130/181]
Claim L[43, 44], M[44] at 1 pop per claim [133/181]
Build Mines on those four mountain tiles in the desert [137/181]
Dig Deep for 6 Coal [143/181]
Claim X[25-32] at 1 pop per claim [151/181]
Build Fisheries on those 8 tiles [159/181]
Work 4 Stables [163/181]
Build Mines M[10-13] [167/181]
Raise 5 Armies at T-58, led by Tholtig wielding the Torch of the Mountainhome, with another army wielding Steel weaponry [172/181]
Mine 2 safe Sulfur [174/181]
Build Subterranean Farms at AA-15, O-8 [176/181]
Build Mine at T-58 [177/181]
Work 3 Mountainhalls [180/181]
Raise Army at X-16 wielding Steel weaponry [181/181]

Existing armies make undisclosed marches. Sulfur is saved in the hope of a future Coal strike in one of those new mines.

[Grek]

Turn submitted via PM. Highlights include: Lots of theft. Stealing yet another Sacred Dwarven Artifact. More Theft.

[Terenos]

Add available horses to armies. Undead armies take precedence.
Move Necromancer to X-55, Build Graveyard
Work 10 Graveyards [10/200]
Work 10 Stables [20/200]
Work 10 Forges [Ore-> Iron] [30/200]
Work 51 Farms/Fisheries gifted by the Elves [81/200]
Work 22 Farms/Fisheries (SE corner of my holdings, Entirely safe from Kobold thefts) [103/200]
Work 40 Mines (All non 0/non new) [143]

Claim Z-27, Z-28, AA-28 Y-39, Y-40 W-37-40, X-40, Y-39,Y-40 W-42-Z-42   M-58->R-58   , M-59, M-60->R-60, R-61 ,P-49->53, Q-49, Q-53, R-49,R-53  [182/200]
Construct 1 Nature Preserve P-51, [183/200]
Construct 12 Farms, Main continent, all available tiles (Vicinity of R-51) [195/200]
5 Theft operations on the Dragon. [200/200]
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Send 18 Raw Mithril to the Dwarves [33/68 sent]
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Army Movements:
9 undead armies at V-56 ,Move to U-56, Steal food.
10 undead armies at V-57  Move to U-58, Steal Food.
1 undead army at V-55, Move to V-54, Attacks Tile
10 undead armies at W-56 Move to V-55, Steal Food

3 undead armies at Y-55, Move To Y-53,

5 armies at CC-28, 2 to BB-28, 3 to CC 27, 1 to DD 28: Steal Food.
1 army at AA-28 To Z-29, Attack Tile.
1 army at BB-28, Steal Food
1 army at CC-27, Steal Food
1 army at DD-28, Steal Food
1 armies at CC-37, 9 armies at CC-36, Move to BB 36, 7 Steal food, 2 attack tile.

5 armies at Z-33: 3 Steal Food, 2 Attack Tile
5 armies at AA-34: 3 Steal Food, 2 Attack Tile

3 armies at I-55, 2 to I-54, Attack Tile, 1 to H-55, Steal Food.
4 armies at F-56 : 1 to Each; G-56, G-57, F-57, E-57, Steal Undead Armies (Presumably, I just get those back on those tiles?)
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Summary of the Hobbit Turn: Theft, Theft, and MORE THEFT. Im going to outsteal the Kobolds.
Minor errors in my army layout but yeah, no worries. I know where most of them are supposed to be.

[Terra162]

Work 36 Elf Villages. [36/484]
Work 238 Farms/Fisheries [274/484]
Work 16 Unicorn Pens. [290/484]
Make 10 Iron Bars. [300/484]
Craft 1 Iron armor and 1 Iron weapon. [302/484]

Rise 65 armies (Five at each location) at E-6,7. F-6,8,9. G-6,9. H-7,9. I-7,9. [367/484]

Arm 1 army in each square Iron armor and Iron Weapons. ^
The armies that have iron stuff are the Leaders of each army group.

Send all 5 Armies at C-23 to attack the Kobolds at CC-25 move to C-24.
I should read up on my battle rules... XD

Spoiler: King Geldar's Address. (click to show/hide)

Hello, my fellow Elves. We have a hostile enemy that has came out of our mines in the north. We must rally to destroy these foul creatures from Hell. They, the Fire Serpents, will burn our beloved forests to the ground. We, also, have an independent tribe of dwarfs threatening to take over our mines. We must not let them slow our industrial pursuits. We are a strong people that have yet to test our military might. 

Today we shall see what our armies can do...Come, gather round, to pray to the great Grek! That we might be successful in our defense of nature and for a successful test of our armies!

[Nerjin]

Dear Mum,

     It is an exciting time here at the border of the Elven lands. As I have told you countless times they are a wondrous people who, despite worshiping the forces of evil and destruction, are quite nice. Indeed I met a few the other day. They said they liked my hat. This week though they appear to be a bit more agitated than usual as they have been, apparently, dealing with several fires within their forests. There is also talk of independent dwarf clans harassing the fair people. I've never heard of such a thing before. Dwarves usually swear fealty to a single monarch at a time. Well at least that's been my experience. I think I may look into these new Dwarves. I've decided to call them "Chaos Dwarves" for the time being as they appear rather chaotic in relation to their mountain dwelling brethren. As always I shall send this letter via a passing elf scout who tends to bring these letters to human cities and the human cities to you. I will keep you in touch with my findings and ramblings as I can. Tell Sacha I miss her. Farewell,

       -Signed
              Arashin

[MrWillsauce]

We've been waiting on Ship for quite some time. Sorry, guys.

[Nerjin]

I think at around 11 days you should just skip his turn.

[Nerjin]

So... How bout them sports team?

[MrWillsauce]

Well I've been trying unsuccessfully to get into contact with Ship of Freaks for nearly two weeks. I'm actually beginning to feel slightly worried about him -- as you may have gathered Ship and I are friends in the real, Kobold-free word -- but I'm probably just being paranoid. As far as the game is concerned, skipping somebody's  turn even once would severely fuck up their empire, putting them very far behind everyone else in a manner that isn't very fun (even less so than being attacked by dragons on turn 1). So I really don't know what I should do. One option would be to hand the reigns of the Human Empire temporarily over to someone else (Nerjin would likely be willing to assume the position of Human Empress), but I really don't feel comfortable doing that without consulting the rightful ruler of the empire, which of course isn't possible in this case. Despite my misgivings, I can say with moderate confidence that Ship wouldn't mind his empire being run by someone else for the sake of keeping the game going (although it's been stagnant for a few weeks presently, much to my chagrin). I suppose the decision is really up to you all: should we continue waiting, proceed with a substitute while we await news from Ship, or do something else I'm not thinking of? I'm sorry for not taking action to end this unintentional hiatus much, much sooner.

[Nerjin]

Huh... I'm sure he's okay. Probably just busy with real life.