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[Tomcost]

He could become a nice guard, I think. Or at least a miner in the future...

[3man75]

If we have sucubi with wrenches why not corrupt him {have the succubi do their thang} and make him into a sadistic Guard who will oversee all our future high-risk and VIP prisoners. Imagine him walking up and down a hallway with the most prominent politicians behind bars cowering in fear wondering what the guard will do next to them?

[Imp]

Control's our thing.  Do we want a sadistic guard?  Whatever happened to our assessment of ourself:  Medium-level evil, with standards.

Becoming a monster is a gift.  If you become the right monster, which one is the best to become being different for different people.

Almost everyone had childhood dreams.  Almost everyone has a few things they think are their best features.  Almost everyone has things about themself they'd like to change.

Why not offer our guest an interview before anything else happens?  Attempt to find out where he might fit into our organization with joyous enthusiasm.  Find out what traits we can enhance and reduce that he would be able to appreciate becoming better at and less of.

Sure, it's a slower and somewhat more expensive method, but think of the man's loyalty.  Lets offer him a golden carrot before we even show we have sticks.  He may well have a dream we can furfull which no one else could have given him, which he never realized he could possibly attain.  He might have always belonged in our service, only never known the option was open or how to apply.  How very fortunate for him, that we have found him at last.

And, should he refuse our generousity, or actually not be a person who wants to be something more, then we can turn him into something of our choosing or whatever we need at the moment.  If he's even worth that.  Processes of transformation are not random gifts to be wasted on someone stupid enough to be rude to us, or small minded enough not to dream of being something more than they already are.

[Tomcost]

Control's our thing.  Do we want a sadistic guard?  Whatever happened to our assessment of ourself:  Medium-level evil, with standards.

Becoming a monster is a gift.  If you become the right monster, which one is the best to become being different for different people.

Almost everyone had childhood dreams.  Almost everyone has a few things they think are their best features.  Almost everyone has things about themself they'd like to change.

Why not offer our guest an interview before anything else happens?  Attempt to find out where he might fit into our organization with joyous enthusiasm.  Find out what traits we can enhance and reduce that he would be able to appreciate becoming better at and less of.

Sure, it's a slower and somewhat more expensive method, but think of the man's loyalty.  Lets offer him a golden carrot before we even show we have sticks.  He may well have a dream we can furfull which no one else could have given him, which he never realized he could possibly attain.  He might have always belonged in our service, only never known the option was open or how to apply.  How very fortunate for him, that we have found him at last.

And, should he refuse our generousity, or actually not be a person who wants to be something more, then we can turn him into something of our choosing or whatever we need at the moment.  If he's even worth that.  Processes of transformation are not random gifts to be wasted on someone stupid enough to be rude to us, or small minded enough not to dream of being something more than they already are.

I'm not against that, but, to quote the GM:

Monsters are inherently stupid minions. They can be used to defend your lair, or defend key locations, but are generally useable only on Destruction Missions otherwise.

[LordBucket]

Wipe his mind and give him to the succubi as a pet. Keeps them happy, keeps him harmless.

[Imp]

I'm not against that, but, to quote the GM:

Monsters are inherently stupid minions. They can be used to defend your lair, or defend key locations, but are generally useable only on Destruction Missions otherwise.

You are right, of course.  But I still hold out hope, because of how our dark advisor was described:

She also suffered a terrible chemical accident...that made her into a Goo-Girl. Which makes her a monster.
Which makes her also perfectly acquirable by your strict standards of 'Monster Only'.
...
One Dark Advisor (Chemista, the Goo-Girl Chemist!)

Maybe it's a really bad suggestion.  But it feels like a very good sort of evil to me.

And we were having second thoughts about Chemista....

The fact Chemista simply wrote those down without saying anything else makes you wonder if she's just getting too old for the job.

[Cheesecake]

Let's let him join us. We aren't close-minded racists. Let all join us in our standard-set evil, man or monster!

[LordBucket]

We aren't close-minded racists.

We do have standards though. He's a security guard. And obviously he's not very good one. We just sent ten assorted minions into the facility he was supposed to be guarding to physically remove a power generator, taking out all lights in the city...then hooked it up to a zeppelin and flew it away.

...yet he somehow failed to notice any of this or alert any authorities and instead got himself knocked unconscious without any help from us.

This is not someone we want working for us.

[Cheesecake]

Let's clone him and send him to work all over the world! Then everyone will be incompetent and everything will be easy!

[shadenight123]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Let's clone him and send him to work all over the world! Then everyone will be incompetent and everything will be easy!

You just don't know how much of a bull's eye you just caught.

Since there appears to be some sort of Tie between "Cephalod" "Give him to the Succubi" and "Interview" him...

You, most magnanimously, decide to wait until Bob awakens to interview him.
The moment Bob is awake, he starts trashing. Thankfully, you've nicely placed him on a chair equipped with all the comforts of the 'Stay Still' *tm* line of products. Ranging from metal shackles to collars, passing through Saw-like features, he is unable to leave.
But of course, he can answer your questions.

"So, tell me...Bob, was it?"

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"Now, now Bob, I'm not going to kill you! But we still have to decide what to do with you! You've been a naughty boy, haven't you?"

"I did nothing! Your freaking monsters knocked me out! A wrench to the head! You can't tell me it was my fault!"

"Tell me, Mister Bob, did you love your mother?" You grab a notepad, "Because Freud says it's always mother's fault if we turn out badly. Frankly, I disagree. My mother was quite the good sweet little woman."
You jolt down a few key-points on Cephalod inter-breeding.
"But then again, we all have our dark pasts and moody moments, right mister Bob?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You wanted to be abducted! You wanted to become something more than a mere nameless security guard the Heroes forget! You wanted to become my minion, didn't you!?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1d12=5+2(Pure Control)=7
Vs
Bob The Guard that Did Not Guard
1d12=6-2(Nameless Grunt)

"YES MY EVIL OVERLORD!"

Ah, Convincing People to become Evil and turn to your side is always gratifying.

"Now, is there any monster in particular you'd like to become?"

He swallows slightly. "M-Monster?"

"Of course! I have standards after all and let's face it: you aren't up to them. Yet. But we can remedy that! Now, Chemistaaaaaaa!"

The Goo-Girl advisor appears through a vent, her Goo-girl nature actually helping her through narrow passages.

"Yes, my evil Overlord?"

"Do we have something to turn Bob here into a nice, loyal, monster?"

"Well your Overlordness, we can experiment!" Chemista turns thoughtful. "But only on things we already have for the moment. We could try and give him a Catfish mutagen. He could become a humanoid catfish, or a monstrous catfish with human features...one never knows where the Dna will split. Or we could merge him with a Cog-Minion...that might make him mad, but it might also make the Minion smarter. Oh, or maybe a little bit of what turned me into this might turn him into something else?" she mulled it over, "The base material however...well, generally your Overlordness, as you know, there are only three ranks of Evil-Creatures. Monster, Mook and Dark advisor. Since he is the Human equivalent of a Mook...he can only become a Monster or a Mook, nothing more."

Mutations and you, tentacles are your sworn enemies if you're a magical girl!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mutations!

First, take something you have.
Then, take someone you kidnapped.
Finally, merge, mix and fuse!
The result varies, it may be that the 'Catfish genes' turns one human into a Catfish-Body with Human intelligence, or it may turn the Human-body with catfish intelligence. Or a combination of both!
It may give the human gills, or it may give him catfish whiskers.
It may turn out just a harmless addition of scales...
Or it may give you Catfishzilla!
Experiment! For Science!

That said, catching an octopus from the sea isn't at all that difficult when you have pet Catfishes.
So Cephalods aren't a problem.

We are still in Downkeep.

[Cheesecake]

Do the catfish-mook thing. Add additional technorganic parts from the Cog-Minions to his final form.

[LordBucket]

First, extract human mutagen from him.

Then, dispatch two catfish to capture an octopus and a crab. Extract mutagen from both.

Apply squid mutagen to Bob. If he gets aesthetically pleasing tentacles, wipe his mind and give him to the succubi as a pet.

If not, apply the crab mutagen. Let's see what happens if we apply multiple mutagens to a single target. Tentacles are fun, but if he ends up with ink-squirting and a hard shell, he might be useful. And worse case his body can't take multiple mutagens and it kills him. In which case that would be good to know.

[Cheesecake]

First, extract human mutagen from him.

Then, dispatch two catfish to capture an octopus and a crab. Extract mutagen from both.

Apply squid mutagen to Bob. If he gets aesthetically pleasing tentacles, wipe his mind and give him to the succubi as a pet.

If not, apply the crab mutagen. Let's see what happens if we apply multiple mutagens to a single target. Tentacles are fun, but if he ends up with ink-squirting and a hard shell, he might be useful. And worse case his body can't take multiple mutagens and it kills him. In which case that would be good to know.

Even then we could still use his corpse for a cog-minion cyborg. Win-win for mad scientists everywhere!

[LordBucket]

Even then we could still use his corpse for a cog-minion cyborg. Win-win for mad scientists everywhere!

And since our succubi seem to like using wrenches, we could install some hexagonal bolts into him. So they can screw him.

[kaian-a-coel]

And since our succubi seem to like using wrenches, we could install some hexagonal bolts into him. So they can screw him.

I see what you did here...

First, extract human mutagen from him.

Then, dispatch two catfish to capture an octopus and a crab. Extract mutagen from both.

Apply squid mutagen to Bob. If he gets aesthetically pleasing tentacles, wipe his mind and give him to the succubi as a pet.

If not, apply the crab mutagen. Let's see what happens if we apply multiple mutagens to a single target. Tentacles are fun, but if he ends up with ink-squirting and a hard shell, he might be useful. And worse case his body can't take multiple mutagens and it kills him. In which case that would be good to know.

And yay +1