oh boy, let's try and do as much as we can that is suggested between downkeep and upkeep!
"So, Lord Gamington?" you ask, walking into Gamington's laboratory where the dancing Flesh Cog is currently busy working. "What exactly are you doing here?"
"Oh your Overlordness! I'm trying to make a better Cog! An Upgraded Cog! A Superior Cog!" then he slumps down, "But I need better materials! Scraps only go this far! Steel, Iron, anything strong! I'd say Tungsten, but we don't have Tungsten! Ah...I'll dance my pain away, thunz-thunz-thunz!" Disco beats start to play around his 'workshop'.
"All right, I get it," you reply, "I'll find you some strong material!"
"Thank you, your Overlordness! Once you find them, what you want them to be is just a matter of words away!" and with that, he happily returns to shaking his hips while clanking against the metallic scraps...which he has arranged to form a set of drums.
You enter Psysquid's area -the submarine bay- to find him currently overseeing the operations for the steam engine being placed in the Submarine. He is wearing a pipe, a large bonnet, and a tweed jacket that makes him look like an old sea captain. He even has a fake stubble-beard attached.
"Your Evil Overlordness!" Psysquid remarks, "It is good to see you," he takes a puff. "Seaweed?" he offers another pipe.
"No thanks," you reply.
"As you wish," he returns to smoking. There's a clank, suddenly a metal pipe bursts, sending highly condensed steam on the Cog-Minions below. Or at least it should, if not for Psysquid putting his right hand up and squeezing it, closing the pipe with his Psychic powers.
"Your Evil Overlordness, we will be ready for our first submarine mission soon, if that is your wish. I'd suggest finding something better than coal though...you know, maybe magical fuel sources?"
"I'll look into that," you reply.
"Your Evilness Incarnated," Chemista says smoothly as you descend into her laboratory, "Is something the matter?"
"DO I really have to convert humans into monsters?" you ask, curiosity taking the better of you.
"Of course you do," Chemista rolls her eyes. "DO you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because loyalty cannot be bought from humans, of course. It is a silly notion to think humans can trust each others. Monsters instead do. They have a...shall we say a link of trust? Between each other of the same species. Just look to Psysquid and Squidconda...they never met, but Squidconda cherishes Psysquid...even if the opposite isn't true. And that much will repeat for each Squidconda created. Because to the animal kingdom the strongest rules, and to the monster kingdom the strongest monster commands. And as the Overlord, you are the strongest monster."
"But what if I don't want a human to turn into a blob of melted Dna?"
"That was a slip of the hand," Chemista retorts, "And, frankly, now I have better lab equipment. Furthermore, it's a little price to pay for powerful creatures, right? Powerful and clearly loyal creatures," she adds. "And, let's face it, humans aren't really worth it."
You nod.
"Good! Now, your evilness, concerning Cerulean...maybe it would be better to keep her off missions for a while? She's just a child after all, and I'm sure killing someone for the first time -someone Human, since she was a hero before- might have finally taken the toll on her. Maybe she'll realize killing Cogs or monsters is no different than killing humans...one can only hope she'll realize the irony of it all, right?"
"She's twelve."
"She's a Side-Kick, an ex magical girl, and my apprentice. I'm not going to cuddle her and tell her the world is a beautiful place of love and friendship. Because it isn't. People backstab each others, humans backstab each other repeatedly. You can only trust others in your same position. You can only trust monsters."
Troubled, you acknowledge her words and then leave. She was having quite the heated wording over it all.
You look at yourself in the mirror.
Your beautiful iron-copper like robes with golden interweaving, your mask that resembles tightly connected cogs that barely let your eyes -dark- show through, your hair... is covered by the cog-like mask, and that's all you see.
You never remove your robes or your mask after all. They're key to being an Overlord. No worthy of respect Overlord would ever remove his Overlord robes after all.
Are you human? No, Chemista said so herself. Can't trust humans. She wouldn't have saved you had you being human. So you're a monster. Maybe you're a sexy piece of Incubus? You're clearly the most beautiful Overlord ever, so it might be that...or you're a male Nymph. A sexy, metallic-liking Male Nymph.
Who knows.
You put a coin into the Steel Piggybank.
It clinks, and the Piggybank goes Oink.
Nothing seems to happen, so you put another coin.
"Oink."
Nothing yet? One more.
"Oink!"
Now the Steel Piggybank rattles a bit, before...
Wait, is it growing?
Yes it is! Now the Steel Piggybank is as tall as a medium-sized Dog!
"Oink, Oink!" it bellows with grace.
Five seconds later, it returns to its normal cat-size.
"Never question the SAD system," you mutter to yourself shaking your head. Never.
But you do ask Chemista about it.
"Well, the SAD system is an intelligent system that feeds upon the user's grief, evilness and sacrificial instinct to achieve a summoning of a creature suited to those needs. Considering a Steel Piggybank was summoned by sacrificing a Bundle of money, it is probably an ironic jab at you, your evil overlordness."
"What? Why?"
"You don't give value to money, it doesn't have a history and frankly, we don't personally care about money one way or another. Sure, it has its uses, but they're inconsequential. So the SAD system saw all of that and probably told you to 'Save up' either enough money or
things to make the sacrifice worthwhile. That's why you summoned a Steel Piggybank...the System basically summoned something...sarcastic."
"Isn't there a better system?"
"Heroes use the PSALM system. Performance-Summon-A-Light-Minion. But really, heroes are stupid. True power comes only from sacrifice."
You excuse yourself once more after that.
Cerulean's FLUFFY RABBIT is taken from her room -where there is a disturbing collection of photos of heroes all marked with bull's eyes points- and brought to Chemista while the Goo-Girl is elsewhere.
"Succubus mutagen, on the rabbit?"
"Yep."
"Are you sure, your evilness?"
"Yep."
"On Cerulean's rabbit?"
"Yep."
"Might as well try out the equipment." With a shrug, the rabbit is strapped and the mutagen injected.
1d12= 10 + 1( Chemista is a chemist) + 1 (mutating is routine) + 2 (Better Lab Equipment)= success!
The rabbit squirms for a bit, before suddenly going limp. You stare as his fur goes softer and softer, and small bat-like wings emerge from his back. He grows two tiny horns and develops a...wait, a six-pack of small breasts?
Too much information, too much...
Then Chemista let the bunny go, and it flaps its wings now before starting to float at your eye-level.
It's looking at you.
The Bunnubi is looking at you.
"Ehm...go back to Cerulean's room?"
"Mom, have you seen my bun-" Cerulean stills halfway into the room, staring at the flying bunny.
"Surprise?" Chemista hazards.
You suddenly feel very cold.
"What have you done to Mr. Buffle-Wuffle-Truffle?"
Oh, she has your same naming habit. How cute!
"Interweaved his genes with those of a Succubus, you know, like your other mother..."
"Ah," then Cerulean blinks. "COOL! and with that, she proceeds to hug you both with her Goo-like body.
One day she'll become a teenager. That day is not now.
"Thank you Dad! Thank you mom! Aw. Let's go Bufflewuffletruffle! Let's see who runs faster now!"
With a squicky sound, the Bunnubi follows out behind Cerulean. But it stops in the doorway...
And gazes back at you.
Somehow, that gaze is actually
unnerving.
You sigh in relief. Everything is going fine and smoothly, now to corrupt the scientist.
"Hello, mister Scientist."
"I have a name, you know," the man bitterly replies.
"Names mean nothing. We'll give you a new one. We also have an excellent medical insurance. And your first mutation is free of charge. What would you like to be crossed with? A squid? A Crab? We even have Whale!"
"Human, thank you very much."
"Humans are boring, mister Scientist."
"You're human too."
"No, I am not. I am an Overlord. We can appear humans, but we aren't, not really. We're more of a mass of evil condensed into a humanoid body to bring forth devastation, destruction and generally evil-acting upon the world."
"I'm not going to work for you. I have a contract with Starch Industries."
"It's null and void. You're working for me now."
"Never."
"Never say never..." you smile, and then begin listing the benefits of being a Minion.
1d12= 8+2+1 vs 1d12=1 (yeah, not placing the bonuses here with one on the dice)
Five minutes later, he's convinced. He caved in pretty quickly.
"Good! Now stay here until we get the right mutagen for you!"
And with that you leave him in your ultra-secure cell for good guys.
Which is a hole in the ground inside your lair, right next to the Behemoth Catfishes' nesting area.
Two eggs are actually in the nesting area, and you smile watching them. Soon you'll have Five Catfishes...you just can't wait!
Squidconda is, once more, missing from her water tank. You find her swimming in the submarine bay water...and you don't really want to question how she got in there or why.
You do notice Psysquid standing in his tweed jacket smoking on the dock though, rather than swimming.
The fact squidconda is hissing to Psysquid, and he replies...makes for an interesting scene.
"hisssss."
"No, I am fine here, on the shore."
"HISSSSSS."
"No, I will not enter the water. I do not care about dry skin."
"HISSSSSS."
"No, I will not let you have my eggs."
"HISSSssss."
"Thank you, but no, I will not act as the 'Alpha Male'."
"HISsssss..."
"That's because you're too grabby. If you promise not to try and constrict me, then I will swim...eventually."
"HissssssssSSSSS?"
"No, no, and no. We are different species. Stay the hell away from my bed."
"HISSSSS!"
"No, I don't care that your watertank is too far away from me. I like it that way personally."
"Hissss..."
"Don't you start crying! I'm not going to be moved by tears!"
You leave before it escalates.
UpkeepWhen you wake up the next morning, you watch as the Steel Piggybank trots off behind the Bunnubi, while Cerulean slowly follows the two with a bright smile on her face. You try your best to ignore the watertank in the living room -how the hell did it get there? or the Squidconda hissing at Psysquid currently eating a butter toast.
You try hard to ignore Lord Gamington playing a waltz with Cog-Minion, and Chemista's slow digestion of something living inside of her. The Cog-Minions 'Cog' in the distance.
Looks like a normal dysfunctional family.
Somehow, that does warm your Evil heart a bit...but just a tiny bit.
Then it's mission time, and Psysquid narrows his eyes before grimacing.
"Your Overlordness..."
Choose a Mission1) Assault the Asylum. Mixed. "Five potential Heroic Heroes are being brought up at the Asylum. We must stop this from happening, or fighting Heroes might get progressively tougher."
Security Present. Heroic Hero present. High Chance of Special Forces present.2) Hijack a radio tower. Control. "Radio towers have the most interesting bits inside!" Gamington exclaims, "We could find out bits and pieces of news from the rest of the world that are kept secret!"
Low chance of security being present3) 'Smooth over' the sea floor. Destruction. "Sometimes breaking apart the sea floor yields some old and forgotten stuff," Chemista remarks. "Maybe crystals, maybe minerals, maybe nothing."
Cake-Walk. Submarine Mission.