Full speed ahead!
[1] YOU REACH 15 LIGHTSPEEDS AND ENTER PLAID. THE WARP SUBSEQUENTLY THROWS YOU OUT OF ITSELF AND WITHIN SECONDS YOU'RE CRASHING DOWN ON EINSTEIN'S GRAVE. SECONDS BEFORE YOU ARE OBLITERATED, YOU NOTICE SOMETHING INSIDE THE GRAVE IS SPINNING. RESPAWN?
respawn, reclaim harpoon gun, reel in the moon
[3] SINCE YOU ASKED NICELY. [1] THE HARPOON GUN BURSTS INTO TREATS! YOU EAT THEM AND DIE OF MERCURY POISONING. RESPAWN? [1] THE MOON VIOLENTLY CHICKEN DANCES THE PROJECTILE OUT OF ITSELF. IT CRASHES INTO YOUR CORPSE. YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY INCESSANT CACKLING.
Get more taikonaut training, then.
[5] YOUR SPACEMANNINGSHIP HAS BEEN AMPLIFIED WITH GREAT EFFICIENCY. +33% SPACE TRAINING.
Acquire space capsule, mount auger drill. Attach to side of likely-looking contestant. Piggy-back o. Their success.
[5] YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF A SPACE CAPSULE. [2] IT DOESN'T HAVE A DRILL EXPANSION SLOT! GEE GOLLY, JAXA SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS AGES AGO. [1v6] YOU TRY STRUTTING YOUR CAPSULE TO [6] LENGLON, YET THE BOOGEYMAN OPPOSE YOU! [3v5] YOU GET SLIGHTLY BRUISED AND YOUR CAPSULE'S WINDSHIELD IS CRACKED, BUT YOU'LL BE FINE.
Strut space itself, and the pull on it, hopefully pulling the kerbals to me. Then strut myself to their ship.
[2] UNFORTUNATELY, YOU ARE UNABLE TO FUCK WITH PHYSICS HARD ENOUGH TO ACCOMPLISH THIS TASK. [5] STRUTTING TO THEIR SHIP HOWEVER TURNS OUT TO BE A TRIVIAL TASK.
Jump in my ship. Go get the moon.
[6] YOU JUMP RIGHT INTO AN US CARRIER AND [1] GET SHOT IN THE FACE. THAT WENT SPLENDIDLY. RESPAWN?
Use some of my Kickstarter funds to paint fire decals on my rocket and then provide pledge benefits to my donors.
[3] YOUR MEDIOCRITY HAS A GENEERICALLY TRIUMPHANT RETURN AS YOU IMBUE THE SPIRIT OF A RICER CAR IN YOUR SHIP. [1] ONE OF THE DONORS REQUESTS YOUR VITAL FLUIDS AS A PLEDGE BENEFIT. YOU GLADLY COMPLY. MINUTES LATER, DOZENS OF OTHERS WANT THE SAME, AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT COMPLY. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
Well then. Moonwards we go! Wait, what's that..?
[5] YOU FIRE THE MAIN ENGINES AND SLOWLY BEGIN LEAVING LOW EARTH ORBIT. YOU WILL REACH SPACESIDE NEXT TURN. [6v1] MOMENTS LATER YOU NOTICE A ROGUE CRAFT STRUTTED ONTO YOURS AND SEND ONE OF YOUR CREW TO INVESTIGATE!
SPACE BOARDING! KERBALS VS SQUIDGEN:
[4] JEREMIAH THE ENGINEER IS SELECTED FOR THE TASK, ARMED WITH A [6] TACTICAL STRUT RIFLE. [3, 2v4] DUE TO SPACE WIND YOU ARE UNABLE TO WALK YOUR WAY FURTHER THAN HALF PAST THE LINKING STRUT.
DID YOU FIND THE STRUTS YET HOW LONG CAN IT TAKE
[2] THE STRUTS REMAIN FIRMLY OUTSIDE YOUR GRASP.
MOONSIDE:
MOON: ENGAGING IN VIOLENT PRANCES
NASA ROVER: BECOMING A NON-ENTITY
ORBITSIDE:
KERBALS: INVESTIGATING ROGUE STRUTS
SQUIDGEN: PIGGYBACKING TOWARDS VICTORY, STRUTTED TO KERBAL SHIP
PLANETSIDE:
NIRUR TORIR: GRASPING THE TOXICITY OF SPACE MEAT, 48% SPACE TRAINED
LALASA: HAVING VITAL FLUIDS STOLEN BY POSSIBLE COMMUNISTS
LENGLON: PROBING THE MYSTERIOUS DOUBLE-WHAMMY OF DEATH
DORSIDWARF: MODERATELY BLEMISHED
PANCAEK: CONTINUOUSLY OVERWHELMED
SPINAL_TAPER: CONTEMPLATING LITERAL WALLS OF IRON
PERSUS13: ENGAGING IN SOMALIAN SHENANIGANS
NASA: SEEKING THE SPACEFARER'S DUCT TAPE
CHEESECAKE: INVOLUNTARILY DESIGNING A PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE
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Topic: FLY ME TO THE MOON: LOYALTIES CASCADED: 1 (Read 9804 times)