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[Harry Baldman]

"That really depends on what you consider useful. If you don't think that I'm useful now you might change your mind when my power changes."

"What can you do?"

[Pancaek]

"It's your lucky day, friend. I'm utterly hammered and I have nothing better to do anyway! I don't know where this Bernski's is, unfortunately. Could you give some more information about this place?"

[Harry Baldman]

"It's your lucky day, friend. I'm utterly hammered and I have nothing better to do anyway! I don't know where this Bernski's is, unfortunately. Could you give some more information about this place?"

"Oh... uh... it's on Davenport Boulevard... yes, Davenport Boulevard, and... it's got a sign. I'm... standing outside of it right now..."

Oh, that place! You suspect you know where it is!

[Pancaek]

"Ah yes, I'll be there shortly then. See you there."

John ends the call, but stays seated in his couch.

"Who the fuck is that guy and why is he in my contact list? You know, this reminds me, I haven't touched that magazine in quite a while."

Read magazine, aqcuire spells! Check how much money I have in my wallet! Then head over to Bernski's, take a look at what kind of place it is and meet up with James.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

body:1
finesse:2
mind:2
affinity:2

Inventory: clothes, wallet,pen and notebook, some sausages, cellphone, snub nosed revolver
Spells:
1. Energize blanket
2. eldritch vase-aided flight
3. Tasty Yeti Sphere
4. River of Thundering Soup
5. shatter russian

[The Froggy Ninja]

"I can summon a Storm of Distracting Underwear, Inspire Booze, throw Inconceivable Hogweed Bolts, forge a Thylacine River, Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar, Enrage Chimneys, Sabotage Angels, Engulf things in Enchanted Angel Ghosts, and make Happy Smut Barriers."

[Harry Baldman]

"I can summon a Storm of Distracting Underwear, Inspire Booze, throw Inconceivable Hogweed Bolts, forge a Thylacine River, Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar, Enrage Chimneys, Sabotage Angels, Engulf things in Enchanted Angel Ghosts, and make Happy Smut Barriers."

"How reliably?"

[The Froggy Ninja]

"My leg is a pig and my head is a clown. What do you think?"

[Harry Baldman]

"My leg is a pig and my head is a clown. What do you think?"

"Is that unusual?"

[The Froggy Ninja]

"Yes. Yes it is. I can probably never go home even if I figure out how.

[Toaster]

Larry looks at his hand in confusion.  He didn't really expect that.

"Uh... yeah, sure.  Listen, what happens if one of us mortal people comes and visits heaven?  Are there bouncers or anything?  Do we get smited down or whatever it is that happens?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Yes. Yes it is. I can probably never go home even if I figure out how.

"Well, isn't that just wonderful. So, how good are you at widespread destruction?"

Larry looks at his hand in confusion.  He didn't really expect that.

"Uh... yeah, sure.  Listen, what happens if one of us mortal people comes and visits heaven?  Are there bouncers or anything?  Do we get smited down or whatever it is that happens?"

"Well, I guess it depends on what heaven is it. What heaven is it?"

[The Froggy Ninja]

"A well placed Storm of Distracting Underwear, Thylacine River, or Enraged Chimney could cause some serious damage but it depends on what you mean by widespread destruction."

[Harry Baldman]

"A well placed Storm of Distracting Underwear, Thylacine River, or Enraged Chimney could cause some serious damage but it depends on what you mean by widespread destruction."

"Could you, for instance, help in a siege warfare kind of situation?"

[The Froggy Ninja]

"If given enough time and all cities are built around chimneys definitely. If not it depends on the circumstance.

[Harry Baldman]

"If given enough time and all cities are built around chimneys definitely. If not it depends on the circumstance.

"We have a use for you, then! Prepare yourself for siege warfare - chimneys will be involved. We'll be riding out in two hours."