John, after exchanging contact information with the two kids like a responsible adult, walks off into the night, returning to his apartment after a brisk walk and collapsing on his couch, for a moment forgetting if he locked or even closed the door behind him. As his ass begins to touch the couch cushion, his hand is already on the remote, turning on the TV and switching to the only kind of quality news he can get at this hour - Mortadello's Post-Midnight Journalistic Jamboree. As the cowboy hat-wearing, gravely mustached visage of Mortadello, standing with his hands placed behind his back, a crude green screen with even more low-quality captured footage of Mills High the only background one can see, appears on his TV, he is soothed.
"- so the siege continues. My sources tell me that several large, hairy varmints were spotted leaving the ruins - could these be our terrorists? Could the events of the past few days be only part of a larger plot by the dark, hairy underbelly of the city to destabilize the virtues of our great country? If so, the worst is only yet to come, my friends, the worst is yet to come. If you think about it, it makes sense - a bomb threat, a seemingly unrelated school bombing, a low-angle reverse meteorite in the business district, all on the same evening. If we could say that the dinosaurs and the shampoo were acts of God and not get much opposition, this reeks of malicious intent! Always keep an eye and an ear out - whatever's out there, it's saying that it's on now. Keep your cameras ready, people, and make sure to document anything unusual - only way we're getting through this is if we knuckle down, find out who's doing this, and stop 'em," Mortadello says, looking quite serious. A phone number appears on the screen in white, bold letters.
"If you see anything at all, my friends, do not hesitate to call our emergency hotline, and we'll do our best to get to the bottom of what's happening - that's a Mortadello guarantee, you hear?"* * * * *
As
Dave drifts through the barren reaches of the salty denture dimension, he decides to light a match.
[Dave's mind roll: 5+2]
Despite the slight disturbances that the dentures create, Dave manages to light the match and stare into it for long enough to be carried off to a better place, which in this case seems to be the city, except A) slightly futuristic and B) blasted to hell and back. As lightning crashes all around him, Dave has one immediate concern - not getting hit by lightning. To this end, he pops into a nearby ruined car, glad at his immense cleverness as lightning repeatedly strikes the car, yet leaves him unharmed. A few moments pass before Dave becomes aware that somebody else has evidently had the same idea, namely the terrible, many-limbed creature in the back of the car. Dave is about to bid it hello, but it seems to have taken offense at his invasion of its personal property, and punches him in the face so hard that he blacks out, heavenly stars of magical power swimming around his head as he awakens in the salty denture dimension.
1. Shrink Garbage
2. Enrage Chimney
3. Perfect Vinegar
4. Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts
How strange! That was not at all what I had in mind! Hm. Well, take any spells you like anyway!
* * * * *
Halesey decides to give God absolutely no backtalk and orders a beer and some peanuts, finishing both in record time and, now rich in protein and sufficiently relaxed for long-distance travel, walks into the men's bathroom, hiding himself in an empty cubicle and standing on a toilet in preparation for the serious shit that is about to go down. Pointing his hand at the floor, he calls upon the power of the potato once more!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+
1]
Through Halesey's relaxed, pliable form the power flows as power tends to do, which is to say very powerfully, and a vortex begins to form on the floor of the cubicle, the thundering intensifying as it expands beyond the confines of the small enclosure and spreads to the floor of the rest of the bathroom as well, the potatoes shuffling restlessly as the suction of the vortex pulls the cubicle door open. Something seems different about the vortex this time, Halesey realizes. This time it's not quite a homogenous mixture of potatoes - Halesey is fairly sure he can see something else in there as well. A tunnel of sorts. It's difficult to say more, since his viewing angle is hardly optimal, but still, a tunnel is definitely there.
"Descend, Halesey! Journey to the center of my domain!" the voice, coming across much clearer than before, tells him.
"Dive into the gate!"* * * * *
Eta, catching herself going slightly mad with power while regarding the thylacine pillar, decides that maybe it's best not to stick around for too long, turning to Lois.
"Now come on, let's get out of here before someone shows up and starts asking questions, OK?""Righto," says Lois, still unable to stop laughing as Eta walks over to a nearby payphone with her. As Eta dials 911, Lois clamps her hands over her mouth and steps away for a few moments, although the sight of Eta trying to sound like a terrorist seems to be testing the very limits of her self-control.
"Yes, hello? This is The Anti Conservation Coalition International for the Destruction of Extinct and Nonexistent Taxa," Eta tells the person who picks up on the other end, putting on a not overly convincing impression of a baritone bandit.
"We have placed explosives inside a number of extinct marsupials, covered them with gunpowder and left them near this location. Don't worry, you can't miss them. Evacuate the area now and take care of this affront to reality or any damage will be on your hands. We demand that the government takes action to remove all extinct species from this world and return it to its normalcy. We will not tolerate the existence of Dinosaurs, Mammoths, Thylacines, Dodos, Mascarene Coots or any other extinct animals. We demand that the government ensures that every citizen can live a normal life without having to worry about the distortion of reality. This was a warning. If our demands are not met, next time, we will detonate them. That is all," she continues, and can hear the dispatcher emit a sound somewhere between a "What?" and a gasp before she hangs up and runs off with Lois, getting well clear of the general neighborhood of the pillar.
"Hopefully they've got experience at this sort of thing, huh?" Lois says when they finally stop, then bursts into laughter once again.
* * * * *
Larry, though sorely tempted to do otherwise, decides not to comment on this situation.
"You know what? After the day I've had, this isn't even top five strangest things today. Screw it, let's just go, okay?""Good man," Tom says, returning to his newspaper. Sherry glances at him again uncertainly, then looks back at Larry.
"Well... okay, let's go," she finally says, walking over to a nearby door and, finding it to be the bathroom, briefly glances about for other doors, then goes in anyway, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub (which looks like an upended egg chair in many ways) for a moment before deciding that she'd rather lie inside it instead, curling up into a fetal position and sighing softly.
Author
Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus (Read 272268 times)